A lady at the age of 30 did not wake up today. She didn’t get to kiss her kids off to school. She didn’t get to rock her baby to sleep tonight. In turn, her kids didn’t get kisses from their mom today and her baby didn’t get rocked to sleep tonight from her mom. I knew her. Her name was Jessica and her son was my step-brother. And I can’t even describe how heart broken I am for everyone in her family that is in shock and devastated.

I’ve literally prayed my heart out today for her babies. I know that Jesse loves his mom so much and I hope that in time his heart will begin to heal. They will see each other again someday, but that’s not comforting as you’re left behind to mourn the loss of your mom.

Wow. So shocking. Life is so scary and unpredictable. You never can tell what’s going to happen one day to the next. Hold on to your loved ones and don’t let petty stuff get in the way. Life is too short. Way too short.

My grandparents on my dad’s side do Thanksgiving dinner on the Sunday before Thanksgiving every year. I’ve never attended one of these (at least not that I can remember) and this year was our first, since we live 5 minutes away. It was nice to see everyone, especially my cousins. Here are a few pictures, okay, well tons of pictures LOL. First off, we decided to take some family pictures and these are the ones that my cousin got of us

If you look in the background of my pictures that’s my grandparent’s property. It is the most beautiful, peaceful place I’ve ever been. I love to just sit on their front porch admiring the beauty that leaves me breathless with every glimpse. It’s a safe feeling being there, a place where I remember running all over and playing like Jayden gets to do now

This is a picture of my cousin Jill. I wouldn’t even call her my cousin. She’s more like my sister. I love this girl so much and she’s due to have a baby girl in March. Isn’t she gorgeous? I cannot believe that she is going to be a Mommy!!!

This is the three girls. My cousin Jill, my cousin Autumn and I w/our baby girls ~ well, Jill’s is in her belly, but it’s so cool that us girls that are so close have baby girls that will be just as close as us 3!!

My Grandpa wanted a picture of all of his Great-Grandkids, so the only one missing out of this picture is the one in Jill’s belly. Jayden’s so darn big compared to these babies. I love the look on Ella’s face… she’s like I am done with all this picture taking, Mom! The little boy on the left is my cousin Jeremy’s little boy Ethan, and then there’s Gweneviere who is my cousin Autumn’s baby girl and then of course my cuties Jayden and Ella. Jayden will be the one looking after all them later on in life.

And here’s a picture of Ella with her Daddy and Ella with her Mama. We couldn’t get Jayden to sit still for very long to take pics, because there was a whole new world for him outside to discover.

I lost a baby before Ella. We named her Mya and had her cremated and her ashes were put in a heart urn necklace that I wear. I’m telling you this just in case you didn’t know. When we still lived in Elk Grove I lost it. I have no idea how I could have lost it, but it disappeared. I only would take it off at night and put it on my night stand, but it was gone. I was devastated! 2 weeks later she was on the side of my seat in my car. It was impossible! But, whatever, I let it go. I was in the process of moving and decided to stick my wedding rings on the necklace since they were no longer fitting me (I was pregnant w/Ella) and I stuck it in my medicine cabinet in my master bathroom. This medicine cabinet was not used. I never opened it, Gino never opened it, and Jayden never even noticed it was there. That night I was going to do a load of laundry and I go to take out the clothes and put them in the drier and there at the bottom of the washer was my necklace….. creeped me out!!!!! However, Gino and I decided it was Mya’s way of letting us know that she’s still with us and she’s watching over us.

Today I’ve been getting things ready, because we’re having Thanksgiving dinner up @ my Grandparent’s. I took a shower, and was getting things ready – so many times I walked through my hallway upstairs as did Gino and I promise, with everything in me my necklace was not there. It was where I had put it, which is right next to my bed. I know for a fact all day long that necklace was next to my bed – I saw it! So, I look @ the ground when I walk – cuz I’m scared that Jayden’s going to leave a toy out and I’m going to step on it like I have done so many times. Well, I was walking to Jayden’s room to pick out what he’s going to wear today and then I turn around to walk back and there right in the middle of the floor in the hallway was my necklace.

So, this is the 3rd time that Mya has let me know that she’s still around and that she’s watching over her baby sister. Maybe you have a different opinion, but I can’t seem to find another explanation other than our baby girl Mya is our angel.

It’s Thanksgiving week. A time where we should all and sit down and talk about everything that we are truly thankful for. I think that the main thing I’m thankful for is my children, my husband, and mostly for the fact that Ella is still here with us. I am thankful that we have an Angel named Mya that I know watches over us. I’m thankful that the medication Ella is on is doing its job and we’re not having to split up our family to be living in the hospital. I am thankful for that. I am thankful that Ella’s doctors know what they are doing and listen to me and my concerns. I am thankful that God watches over us. I am so thankful for the many blessings he sends our way, some of which we don’t even realize we have. I am thankful to have a husband who really loves me. Who helps in any way he can. I am so thankful for him. I am thankful for Grandma & Grandpa Norm who have given me the opportunity to stay at home with my babies. I am thankful that they will be sending me to college to get a degree so that I can go and make a life for my family that they will be proud of. I’m thankful for my friend, Jen. I have not yet met her, but she is one of the best friend’s I’ve ever had. I don’t believe that I ever would have been on the path back to church if it wasn’t for her. She’s an angel in disguise. I am thankful for every breath I take. I don’t hate life, I love my life. I love looking in my kid’s faces and having their smiles literally melt my heart. I love the way my husband looks at me, even when he’s mad.

So, Heavenly Father, thank you for my life, your love, your support, and most of all for every blessing you’ve sent my family’s way.

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