Monthly Archives: June 2008

Exhaustion

Posted on by
1

I really am done. I have been going going going and going since 6am. We got Norm moved into his home, my grandma moved into her home and I haven’t felt this tired in a REALLY long time. I know I’ve been full of rants lately, but I have to go at it again.

Why is it that men HAVE to have 1 up on you? Why can’t they just for once shut their mouths and sympathize with you with whatever problem you’re having? Why can’t they just for once at least pretend like they sympathize with you?

I just got home, sat at the table to feed Ella and said, “I am so exhausted!” That was not an open invitation for HIM to start comparing with me. He looks at me and says, “YOUR tired?” In that tone – you know the tone, the tone of I’m more tired than you. The most annoying aspect of my husband is the comparing game ~ he works harder, he’s more tired, blah blah blah UGH!

I know he’s tired! I wasn’t saying he wasn’t – but was there really a need for the comparing game?

MARRIAGE IS HARD!

Vroom Vroom Vroom

Posted on by
Reply

During the day I sometimes find myself getting a little caught up with online games. When you’ve been working all and your brain needs a break from the endless data entry, or customers blabbing PLAY SLOB’S RACING!!!!! It is the coolest racing game that I’ve found online ~ and I LOVE racing games. It definitely will get you hooked and speeding throughout your day. These little SLOBS are awesome.

A Slice of Family Dysfunction

Posted on by
2

I thought I’d elaborate a little on an ingredient in my soup life that makes my family dysfunctional. As has been stated before, I have a dad that has 4 daughters with 4 different women. My father has been married 4 times. My current step mom is 2 years older than me. She’s different and I find it kinda funny that out of all the women in my dad’s life she’s stayed with him the longest. From my calculations, they got together when she was 17 ~ yes, that would mean I was 15. I told you ~ DYSFUNCTIONAL!

It’s situations like that, that make me happy I wasn’t a big part of his world ~ or should I say that he wasn’t a big part of mine. I’m working on things here, and she’s a big issue with me. I don’t really care for her, because she lies. She doesn’t even seem like a girl to me. She acts just like my dad, and she’s a drunk. She’s drama and she loves to gossip, and those 2 things are definitely things that I try to stay away from.

However, she called last night. My phone rang and when I saw who it was I just stared at my phone for a minute contemplating what exactly I should do. I decided that if she was calling ME then if must be some emergency, because ever since I’ve moved here it’s been a little obvious that she didn’t care for me much. So, I answered it.

This is how our conversation goes….

“OMG, Amanda! You are not going to believe what Alyssa (my 15yo sister) did.”

I sat there thinking – OMGosh is she seriously calling ME to gossip. Is she seriously that immature? It’s been baffling me today and what Alyssa did is really what all 15 year old girls do – she went to the movies and had a boy meet her there.

I promise I really am going somewhere with this. I brought this odd conversation up with my husband and he told me something that I didn’t want to hear. He actually told me to appreciate that she’s trying to make an effort with me. Hmmmm….. Well, I really don’t think that calling me to gossip is a great way to make an effort with me. Why is that he just can’t feel how I feel and agree when HE’S SUPPOSED TO AGREE? I guess that’s why I love him.

I never thought I had issues with my dad and his whole dysfunctional family situation, but I’m learning that I really do. I want to put up a brick wall and pretend like they don’t exist, but is that really the right thing to do?

My friend Sam left a comment earlier that I’ve been thinking about all day. She made a point with my sisters that I don’t have to replace Jessica with these girls, but form different bonds with them. Why is that so hard for me to do? Why is so hard for me to accept that I actually have other sisters out there and they actually would love to be a part of my life? It’s not their fault that our dad is a loser. Yet, I’m still feeling reserved with this.

It all goes down today

Posted on by
1

The big change is happening today. Yesterday I felt like I was shopping for my first house and it was SO MUCH FUN! We’re getting Norm’s room homey for him. We bought plants and flowers and picture frames and everything you’d need for your first apartment minus the furniture. They’re supposed to be here tonight, so we have a lot of decorating ahead of us. I’m hoping he walks into his new apartment after living in his beautiful home for 45 years and can put a smile on his face.

I do feel extremely honored that Norm has chosen to spend his final days with me. I’ve been thinking about all of the things we can do with him. In Ely all he did was sit in his house and just hope that people would come to visit him. Not very fun. Here’s a few things that I have planned for him.

1) I want to start reading to him ~ more than likely articles out of the Ensign

2) I want to take him to Lithia Park so he can bask in the beauty ~ this will probably be an every other day experience for him ~ I love Lithia Park!

3) I’m going to see if the missionaries can come to visit him weekly

4) We’re going to take him to church with us

5) I’m going to go over and have him tell me stories of his life and write them down ~ his life is an amazing one.

6) We’re going to go for walks around his community ~ they have a beautiful duck pond that his room overlooks.

7) I’m going to go play bingo with him w/the rest of the people in his community ~ he wouldn’t just go and do this on his own and I really want him to get social with people.

I just want him to enjoy his life. Norm has never lived his life in an enjoyable way. It’s always been about work, work, work, work! Even on Christmas ~ that man was working.

Where would you choose?

Posted on by
1

I’m just going to go ahead and assume that all of you lurking readers (yes, I see you all non-commenting lurkers ~ I still have love for you though) watched USA Network’s new original series In Plain Sight with me today. Right? I’m sure that you really loved it and are anxiously awaiting next episode.

This new show got me thinking about how it might be pretty cool to actually go into the Witness Protection Program. Have you ever thought about just restarting your life and having a fresh start? I guess there really is no better way than to go this route. If I were to ever have to ditch my life and happily sadly get put into the Witness Protection Program, and only if my kids and sexy mexi were allowed to come, I think I’d like to be relocated to Maine. Why you ask? Simple. Look how peaceful this picture is. I don’t even have a clue what Maine is like, but something about this picture makes me think this would be the place. Maine intrigues me and I always thought it would pretty awesome to live there.

Sponsored by USA Network's new original series In Plain Sight

2 Beautiful Miracles

Posted on by
1

I wanted to share a story that I believe is the most amazing blessing from our Heavenly Father. I have many friends that are struggling to get pregnant and my heart literally aches for them. I’m hoping that hearing a story of such amazement will put some inspiration and hope in their hearts.

There’s a couple in our ward that comes to church every Sunday with twins ~ 1 boy and 1 girl. They tried for years to get pregnant and had no luck. No luck at all. Sister Smith was I want to say 50 and stopped getting her period. She went in to the doctors and figured that she was starting menopause, and to her surprise she was pregnant with twins. I wonder how it felt to be sitting in that doctor’s office and hearing that news. Hearing that the one thing that you’ve been praying and pleading for has come true. Not at all when they expected, but it came true and Heavenly Father answered their prayers with what they wanted.

Her husband is in his 60’s, she’s in her 50’s and the babies are 1 1/2 ~ maybe 2. I watched them in church today and I saw the most amazing patience in their eyes with their 2 miracles that they waited a lifetime for. It’s amazing how our Heavenly Father works – absolutely amazing.

My Life is Changing

Posted on by
2

We have a lot going on this week. Tomorrow is church and I HAVE to go. I have so much to do, but I think in order to get through everything that lies ahead of us this week we HAVE to go to church. I need the strength.

1 year and 2 months ago we ventured off on our own away from our families. Meaning, my mom, my brother & sister and Gino’s entire family. We left them all to focus on us and to give our children a better life. I personally don’t believe that raising your kids in Sacramento is the smartest thing in the world to do.

This past year we’ve grown into a family that is startling everyone that knows us. I think that being by ourselves (my dad and his family that live here really haven’t been around much) we’ve become people that we want to be. We’ve found what our purpose is, and we’re happy with ourselves.

This week my Grandma and Norm (who is like my Grandpa) are moving here. She’s rented a place in Ashland and Norm is going into an assisted living apartment/retirement community that is really a great place. I work for them. They do so much for us, and I’m excited and nervous for the road that lays ahead. I think that they both really need this. They used to live in a miserable town where there was no happiness and now they’ll find some. I really could use the help. Sometimes it’s extremely hard to get my work done, because let’s face it, Ella is DEMANDING! I love this little girl to death, but sometimes I can’t work, because she wants to be a part of it. So, it will be nice to have help with her.

This is life changing. I don’t do well with change and am hoping that I can adjust quickly to having family around again. I’m staying positive and I think that if I stay positive it will be a positive situation. Right?

Norm needs this. Norm is in his final years and needs to be away from his businesses and needs to live life for himself. He packed up his home that he’s lived in for the past 45 years and has chosen to live by me. That’s an honor. It’s an honor that he loves me as much as he does. He’s an amazing man and I wouldn’t even know where to begin. It’s going to be a lot of work though, because he’s needy. I don’t want him to think I’m throwing him in a home and leaving him there, so we as a family are going to make it a point to get him out 5 days/week. Even if it’s just a walk in the park.

Another person is moving here this week as well. I’ve talked many times about my dad’s daughters. First there’s Tiona, who’s 9 and I really have resentment issues with. Then there’s Alyssa who is 15 and just moved here from San Diego w/her mom last November. I’ve started baby steps with her this past week and so far things are going great. She even stayed the night last night and Jayden spent the day with her at her house. I haven’t talked about the 3rd and final sister from my father yet.

Britney is 18 years old. I think – she might be 17 and turning 18 this year… ugh I think she’s 18. Anyways, I found out she’s moving here with her family and will be leaving Tennessee on Tuesday. My dad will have all 4 of his daughters living here. I don’t know what to think. It’s taking me a lot to start with Alyssa and now to have another one coming around, and she’s different. I don’t mean that in a bad way, it’s just I don’t see how we’ll have anything in common. This will be a challenge.

Like I said…. I REALLY need to go to church tomorrow.

Having all these sisters is so weird to me. Growing up I only had 1 sister, and in my heart that’s all I think I can ever love as a sister. A sister to me isn’t thrown on you as an adult, but someone who you grow up with. I haven’t even discussed the story of my sister, brother (from my mom) and me, but someday I will. We didn’t always live with each other, but we’ve always ALWAYS had a very strong bond. I may not have the same father as them, but the bond that we have with each other is strong. I love them so much.

I have to stay strong, because there’s a reason why my life is changing this week. I have to believe that there’s a reason why I’m about to be surrounded by family that I haven’t been surrounded by.

Some Videos of Ella

Posted on by
Reply

Here’s a couple of videos I took of Ella today. There’s a glimpse of her taking some steps. Also, while you’re watching look at her thighs (she’s really going to hate me for this one day) Those chubby little thighs is why my 9 1/2 month old wears 18 month pants. Enjoy!!

Some Videos of Ella

Posted on by
1

Here’s a couple of videos I took of Ella today. There’s a glimpse of her taking some steps. Also, while you’re watching look at her thighs (she’s really going to hate me for this one day) Those chubby little thighs is why my 9 1/2 month old wears 18 month pants. Enjoy!!