After having a completely emotional day I think I’ve come to a decision that might just save my sanity. I really have loved the Mirena, but I’m turning into someone I don’t even like. My husband actually said to me today that he doesn’t even like to come home on his lunch break anymore because I’m just snapping at him over everything. He compared me to the sister on the movie Knocked Up… she treats her husband like s*%$ I had a hysterical fit today where I sat in the bathroom sobbing. Over NOTHING. I picked apart everything I could on my husband. That’s not okay. This isn’t me. Of course I have my times of being moody, but this is scary. So as I’m sitting in the bathroom crying it dawns on me that what if these hormones I’m taking are completely screwing up my brain? What happens when I completely lose it? That’s when you draw the line. I’d rather have another kid than feel the way I feel.

I’ve wondered before if maybe it’s PPD, but I don’t think it is. Especially since my hormone levels are so drastically low. I have to have faith that everything will end up back to normal and I will be okay. My kids don’t deserve to have a mom with no patience. Instead of being on anti-anxiety medication and hormones I think I’m going right to the source and having them rip that stupid Mirena out.

If you pray, please pray for me. I’m going to ask the missionaries to come over and give me a blessing on Friday. I also am going to get a massage tomorrow, and that should really help. If you pray, please pray for me. I hate feeling like this. I don’t want to drive my husband away being a naggy wife. I’ve never been naggy. I’ve never been snappy with Jayden and I’m catching myself being like that with him. Jayden is my heart and soul and I’m so over protective over him and here I am being mean. That’s not cool.

I think for birth control I might go back on the ring, which is what I was taking before I got pregnant with Mya. My insurance company is just going to LOVE this. I just fought tooth & nail to get that $850.00 thing paid for. Now I’m taking it out LOL.

**I updated my Book of Mormon Blog