Oh boy… if my neighbor only knew that I was sitting here blogging about his life.. UGH! That’s okay… he never needs to know! So here I go airing out more…
“Assistant” has my phone number. When I first met her I really was clueless to what was going on next door and I had told her I do photography, she wanted me to do her daughter’s pictures so I handed her a business card. She called…
She wanted to inform me that she called the cops, because “Jim” has some of her stuff and she has some of his, she wants to exchange property. Well, she’s trying to get statements together from people to give to the cops showing him what “Jim” does. Okay, what does this have to do with me??!?!? I’m not a hooker… I’ve only talked to the man a few times. Oh, right… one of those conversations was quite awkward.
When I met “Assistant” she had just gotten her boob job. That kinda spiked my curiosity of what in the world does he do? I knew he was an artist, because I’ve seen him load his canvases in the car, but what kind of “Assistant” gets a boob job? So I asked. I asked him, “Jim”, what is it that you do? It was a day I was loading my kids in the car as he was putting art in his. He told me that he takes exotic pictures of women…. oh, so that explains the unusual traffic of women… whatever *rollseyes* Then came the kicker…. “I’m going to say this in the most respectable way I can. If you ever want to do pictures for your husband I would love to do them.” Yes, he really said that to me. My thoughts… oh, yeah, I’m just going to have some random, old perv take my pictures! Let me just take off my clothes for ya…. H TO THE N-O!
So, phone call today… she wants a statement about it and then told me that if I had allowed him to (um, never an option) that he would have made money off my pictures. That’s great! Could you imagine???? Not that I would EVER, EVER, EVER allow ANYBODY to take pictures of me…. could you imagine if I was clueless, had no self respect and wanted to go ahead with it… then one day when I became rich and famous (because we all know one day it will happen) the pictures came to haunt me… lovely.
I wonder what else is going to unfold. I don’t like being the person they both talk to, however, I like to know what’s going on. I’m a girl, and drama is my nature. I don’t like being a part of drama, but I LOVE HEARING ABOUT IT!
Wow…. um, yeah…. Celeste, I know you’re reading this, my friend. And I’d like you to give your Mother In-Law two thumbs up for me on the winner she chose to rent your old house… and while you’re at it… COME BACK!!!! I FRICKING MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY! Just think about the fun our girls can have together living next door to each other again. And P.S. Saturday is going to be SO MUCH FUN!!! I HAVE NEEDED A GIRLS NIGHT OUT SINCE MY BIRTHDAY! That’s pathetic huh? I owe you for your birthday so it’s going to be FUN!
Thank God my neighbors aren't like this. They're in their 70s. The thought of suggestive poses hurts my brain. At least your neighbors give you something to blog about on a consistent basis, lol, ride that wave!
hahahahah AMANDA!!! I can't believe it. This is too hilarious! I told Jeremy that she probably just let him live there because he is an old "artist" -just her style. UGH. I am SO SO SO excited for Saturday and I wish I still lived next door, but then I wouldn't get to hear all these rediculous stories!
Ca-razy!!! It keeps getting better and better!!