Author Archives: Amanda

Being Thankful

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Do you ever wake up in the morning happy to be awake early? Happy to be alive? Looking forward to all of the days activities…. even if it’s just about getting housework done? This has been me for the past couple of days. It’s weird.

I get excited when I wake up and can’t wait to start living. I’ve been more enjoyable to be around, not complaining and nagging, or getting frustrated with my husband and children.

I’ve been trying to stay positive and look at the wonderful things about my life. I don’t focus on what I don’t have, I’ve been focusing on what I do have. Ella might be a pill (like at church today) but it’s okay, because she’s here…. alive. She could be dead. Yes, quite morbid, but she did almost die as a newborn and instead of getting all stressed out, I am starting to appreciate the fact that I do have a toddler here with me to throw a fit. Her fits can be like music to my ears, because it could be like Mya. I never got to hear her throw a fit, or laugh, or have her pull my hair. I have gotten to the point where I understand why she’s gone. I have accepted it. She died so Ella could be here. In my heart I know that we will all be together one day. One day I will get to meet Mya and I will thank her for allowing me to have Ella in my life. Without Mya dying there would be no Ella. That is my positive outlook on losing Mya. It took me a long time to get there, but I’m there. I’m at peace.

I often times get overwhelmed with all of the tasks that I have to complete. Well, instead of letting these tasks overwhelm me I’m trying to be thankful for the fact that I am able to stay home and have these tasks. I could be working out of my home and not be able to see my children until 5:30pm at night. Thankfully, I spend every waking moment with Ella and with Jayden when he’s out of school. I am thankful for that. I am thankful that I put my mind to being able to become a work at home mom and I did it. I want to be here for my children. I want to be the one who raises them, and I cannot express how much gratitude I have.

Being thankful isn’t something that is so easily done. You have to actually think about these things and realize the many tiny, little things in life that you don’t realize are so wonderful. The fact that I have running water, food ALWAYS on my table, a husband that is my best friend, and children who are loving and a son that has more respect than I’ve ever seen in a boy. These little things about life make me smile and feel overwhelmed with thanks.

When you feel like your life is out of control and there’s a million reasons why you hate your life, you should stop and make a list of all the things you love about your life, the things you’re thankful for…. even the small things. Focus on those things, and make your life what you want it to be…. paint your own picture. That is what I have been doing and I’m very thankful for it all.

The Secret… some Saturday inspiration

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A couple of years ago I picked up the book The Secret. I couldn’t put it down. I probably finished that book within a day, and started to apply the things that were inside of it to my life. The outcome was phenomenal.

It’s been a couple of years, and I know that I’m not so conscious of what my thoughts are and I’m making goals for my life, and I thought it would be good to pick up the book again and be refreshed. I’m so glad I did.

There’s a couple quotes that I’ve read that I wanted to share on here. The first is

Others cannot create your happiness, they can only share in your happiness. Your joy lies withing YOU.

Matthew 21:22 Whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive

Mark 11:24 What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.

You can start with nothing, and out of nothing and out of no way, a way will be made ~ Michael Bernard Beckwith

Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions. ~ Albert Einstein

Whether you think you can or think you can’t, either way you are right. ~ Henry Ford

There’s tons of inspiring quotes inside of this book. If you haven’t read The Secret, I highly suggest picking it up and reading it. You are in control of your life, and how it unfolds. If you want more debt and struggles, then think about just that and it will come to you. If you want success, money, love, decide that, focus on that and achieve that.

Friday Favorites

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Been a while, but I want to get back into this…..

My favorites of this week are as follows:

  • Jayden finally made it to the dentist for the first time and did AMAZING! My 7 year old doesn’t even have a cavity. I’m so proud of him 🙂 I highly believe that this is because I never let him go to bed with a bottle or anything to suck on, but it might just be because he’s a super star brusher.
  • My superstar husband helped me to start clearing out the clutter out of our garage. We have one section completed and a shelving thing in its place. I love organization, even though I suck at it, and am glad we’re on an organizing mission. He also cleared off our old kitchen table and carried upstairs so that it can serve as a return on my desk. I LOVE IT!!! We were actually going to spend money on a new desk and now I really have no reason. I can even use my table as my sewing area…. THANKS WONDERFUL HUSBAND!!
  • Ella has begun potty training and to my shock and surprise is doing amazing with it! My little girl isn’t even 2 and is telling me when she needs to go potty and even held up on a 2 1/2 hour outing of the house!! WTG, Ella!!
  • We got to bring in my husband 28th year with him. Thursday was his birthday and we got to go as a family to dinner. Amazing thing is – we got together when he was 18. We’ve last almost 10 years together and 5 years of marriage. I love him. Here’s to another year of his life that will be spent with ME!!
  • Jayden tested for another belt in Karate. He got called on in Karate class to give a Code of Ethics and he said, “I will forget my mistakes and concentrate on the future.” That made me proud. He makes me proud. I sure was blessed with a special little boy. I can’t wait until we find out if he earned his belt!! I think he did a great job.

That pretty much sums up my favorite things of this week. I love my life. I know sometimes I can complain and get overwhelmed and discouraged, but at the end of the day….I love my life, and I’m so thankful for it and the many blessings that are poured on my family. I’m excited for the next week to come and to talk about my favorite things.

Some days I tell ya

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The potty training with Ella has amazingly been going pretty well. She tells me when she has to pee pee and we go running to her little toilet. I did not expect this AT ALL. I expected her to not understand the concept ~ she’s not even 2!

Today was one of those days where you actually stop for a brief second and wonder why you’re doing it. Why you’re in the spot you’re in. I run and run and run. I have a full time job at home that does not involve the kids. I barely keep up the house the way it should be kept up because if I’m not working I’m going to one of the kids’ activities…. or taking the dog to puppy training…. EVERY SINGLE DAY THERE’S FRICKEN SOMETHING!

I need a vacation from it all. I visioned myself on a beach with nobody…. guess what, I envisioned a margarita with tequila in it too! Just sitting there on the beach, letting the burning sensation run down my throat and hearing nothing but the waves. But, I’d get a headache, curse myself for drinking when I quit when Gino got baptized (except for the slip up of wine with my friend who’s reading this… hehe) and start missing my chaos. That’s the weird thing about it all. Somedays you just want to scream, but if it all went away and you were left without it, you’d be even more miserable than you were with it.

Today really sucked. I hope tomorrow is better.

Pee Pee on the POTTAY

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Ella is officially being potty trained. It’s adorable I must say. She’s doing quite well too… shockingly.

Today however, she told me that she had to go potty, so I take her in there and she just sits on her potty and smiles, then says she’s done… didn’t do anything. So she gets up squats on my rug and pees. I giggled, because boy oh boy…. I can’t believe I’m potty training my baby girl.

I love her. I love absolutely everything about her. I love her temper, her smile, her kisses, her hugs, her love, how she snuggles, and her sweet, sweet soul.

My baby is being potty trained, and next blink she’ll be starting kindergarten.

I really am alive…. I promise

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Hi blog, if you forgot who I am since I neglect you I’m still Amanda. I still have cute kids, hard kids, funny kids, family drama and I’m still selling food.

Life for us has been wonderful. We’ve had an extra toddler with us for now 3 weeks. I can pretty much say that I hope God never blesses us with twins…. EVER. In fact, my husband has informed me that we’re no longer having any more children.

My niece Alana from Sacramento came to stay with us a few weeks ago, because she comes from a horrible home. A party home, she’s been neglected and the whole sad sob story that you can come up in your head probably happened to her.

She’s going back to her glorious life she came from tomorrow. Sad… I know. But there’s not much I can do about it… besides informed CPS, which will be done.

Here’s where the bad part comes in. I’m relieved that she’s going to be gone and I hate to say that, but I have been going INSANE. I haven’t been able to get my work done, she’s very clingy, and I’m EXHAUSTED. I wasn’t going to let my brother know that I have her.. he lives here, but I needed a break. I needed my family back even if just for a day. I’ve realized this week as much as I want to save her, I can’t. It is a fight I don’t have in me. I wouldn’t just be fighting her mom, but I’d be fighting her mom’s horrible mom… which would get her over me. I just hope that either her mom cleans up her act or my brother does…. somebody needs to for this poor baby girl’s sake. Ella and Alana are only 6 weeks apart.

So this has all been going on with us…. which is why my blog has been neglected. Here’s a couple pics I took at Easter……….

THIS IS ALANA






Our Easter was wonderful!!! We went to my inlaws and got to see my husband’s grandparents. Definitely enjoyed myself….. as did the kids.

Taking a trip for Easter

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We’re taking a trip to the inlaws tonight!! We’re heading to California to go and spend Easter with my inlaws and my husband’s grandparents. We won’t be going all the way to Sacramento ~ they only live about 3 1/2 hours from us… which is nice. We actually were planning on just leaving in the morning, but decided it would give us a little bit more time with everybody if we came tonight… we will be home tomorrow night.

Ella’s Easter dress is adorable. I actually bought 2 and haven’t decided which one to put her in. Pictures will definitely be coming when we return. The property that Gino’s parents live on is beautiful and I can get some great pics there… they even have an old barn!!

I talked a while back about changes happening in our lives here and they’re still going on. I wish I could talk in detail on here about it, but for the safety of others it’s best I don’t. Just keep us and our family in your prayers…. you can contact me via email if you’re really curious LOL. I do talk about it on Facebook since Facebook is private.

I hope everyone has a very beautiful and wonderful Easter!! Don’t forget that it’s not just about bunnies and eggs… but it’s about Jesus and what he did for us, his ressurection, and that one day we will have the opportunity to have eternal life thanks to what he did for us. I’m sad that we won’t be able to attend church this Easter, but he definitely will be in our thoughts throughout the day…. I’m still trying to figure out something I can do with the kids so they remember (well, Jayden at least LOL)

What do I do?

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What do you do when you have a friend with such severe problems in her life you almost want to turn your head and have no part in it?

There’s a girl who lives here that ever since Ella was a newborn has needed me to be her friend. The first time I met her it was I NEED YOU TO BE MY FRIEND. I’m sorry, but I should have clung to that and been there as a good friend to her. I then saw her smoking while being 9 months pregnant and lost all interest in being there for her.

I’m writing this post, because I’m struggling with something. I as a person try to please everybody. I can be there, even when I can’t. I can definitely do that, but honestly I can’t. I can be friends with everybody, but truthfully, I’m so busy I hardly have time for my work and family.

This girl has once again entered my life. Our babies are now 1 1/2 and I figured it wouldn’t hurt to be a friend to someone who needed one. I was on the phone with this friend yesterday and I had asked if she had the internet. Her reply was, “Well, yes and no. We don’t have a DSL cable.” Um… okay, a what?? I’ve never heard of a DSL cable. She too agreed that she’d never heard of it, and thanked me for confirming this. I asked, well, do you have a laptop or a desktop and she said laptop… but she’s banned from it.

WOA! Okay… back up… you’re an adult and you’re banned from a laptop? What kind of a marriage is this girl in???? She then starts opening up and trying to in not so many words tell me how miserable her life is, when I hear “GET OVER HERE!!!!!!!!!” and that was screaming from her husband. She said she had to go and got off the phone.

I don’t know what to do. I hate to turn my head and walk away, but I just don’t think I can handle another situation in somebody else’s life. I know she needs a friend, but I don’t think I can sit here and watch a friend go through a life like that. I doubt she’ll leave him, she’s a very insecure person who has a bad outlook on herself. I’m completely opposite from this and can’t understand why somebody would allow their lives to get to this point.

I guess I kinda need advice on what I should do. I have a lot on my plate and can’t take on another person’s problems, but what kind of person does that make me?

IT WAS FAKE!!

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I went to Jayden’s conference and left so pleased. My little man isn’t doing too bad, and I kept looking at the report card with this warm feeling in my heart…. he’s doing so great!

So, the fact that he’s doing great in school isn’t a fake, but that report card was! We got another student’s report card ~ so I have yet to see how Jayden is “really” doing LOL.

I have seen a huge difference in him and his school work. His reading comprehension used to not be as good as it is now. He’s been getting 100% on his reading comprehension answers, and his math skills at home have been excellent.

I as a parent need to try harder though. There are days that I actually forget to have him read to me… there shouldn’t be a day that goes by that Jayden isn’t practicing his reading. I need to be more structured with the kids and myself. I need a time schedule in this house to keep me on track. I know that it doesn’t work for some, but I think it would really work for us. Sometimes I get consumed in other things and I need to limit things for all of us…. computer time, TV time, and make sure that there is time for the things that matter.

I need to block time for my work for my grandparents, I need to block time for Wildtree and make sure that I’m not spending too much time on those things and not the kids. I should be completely done with everything by the time I pick up Jayden so that the rest of our day is spent together and that they have good memories… and this isn’t impossible. It just takes organization and structure… and I need to get us there.