Category Archives: ella

Oh she rocks my world!

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We’ve definitely been soaking up the summer days lately. Water parks, swimming almost every day, and lots of trips to California. But it’s the little moments that have really made their impressions on me.  You can’t beat little chunky babies picking weed daisies in the park.  Have I ever mentioned that daisies are my favorite flower? I probably could have saved a heck of a lot of money at my wedding had I just gone out and got some daisies for my bouquet.

Ella joined dance class. She’s gone twice now, and as I watch her I’m absolutely floored at the talent this girl holds within her. She picks up on the moves so easily – she feels the rhythm in ways I haven’t seen many 4 year old girls feel, at least not within their first class. I have to tell you that this absolutely excites me to no end, because she’s just so beautiful and I’ve always had these major dreams of her being a dancer…. at this point it’s looking up. Now I just have to pray that it’s something she always wants for herself as well.

And can you say admirer? Aliyah definitely loves and looks up to her big sissy! These kids never have a dull, lonely moment…. because they have each other.

She’s doing this new thing lately – where she does this tone in her voice that I wish I could pin point with words and explain. In a small little sea shell – it’s her KNOWING what she’s talking about, but having an unsure tone – almost ending her statement in a question. It just screams GROWING UP! Oh my gosh but I can’t tell you all enough how much I adore, love, cherish, and treasure the little girl that she’s turning into. She’s strong. She’s independent. She’s everything I ever imagined my daughter being…. and I am blessed to be able to be a part of her world. I don’t think God could have given me a more challenging and rewarding soul.

Ella, you rock my world, girl – this picture above is you agreeing to wear the princess dress to the princess tea party for your dear friend Chloe, but demanding the skinny jeans also. You are definitely your mother’s daughter…. and thank goodness you have my personality since your looks scream “clone of your father.” I love you, little diva.

Simple days with my babes

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Spring break…..

Heaven.

I was spending a majority of today cleaning, doing laundry and having a much needed tea party with my girls, when a beautiful feeling of peace entered my soul.  Not having the pressure of something hanging over your head is something quite wonderful.  The past couple of weeks have been extremely stressful and having these quiet moments to soak in my children are WONDERFUL.

I’ve been working on something big for my love of photography.  I can’t wait to reveal it ~ no big date set yet.

In 1 week my little baby girl will be 4 months old.  She is amazing.  There really are no words that I can muster up right now to tell you how much my heart literally skips a beat when I see her smile at me.  It’s funny how you never realize something is missing in your life until it is there.

Right now I feel extremely complete.

Have I talked about how Jayden is in tap? Well, he is…. and I LOVE it and he loves it even more. Friday he had his first tap recital…. talk about CUTENESS! Here – see for yourself!

GET THE FLIP OUT!

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She still sneaks into my bed at night and smooshes me in to where I can’t even breathe.

My husband ends up going downstairs to the couch because he eventually gets pushed out of bed.

Before Aliyah came, it never really bothered me.

I actually enjoyed having my little girl snuggled up to me.

But now I have no room.

I can’t breathe.

She’s gotta get the heck out!  So we’re bribing the girl.

5 night of her sleeping in her bed {that is literally right next to mine} and she gets a princess canopy!

This morning…. at 8am my little girl slept in her own bed!

Talk about one proud mama.

What the little diva doesn’t realize……

her bed along with princess canopy will be in HER ROOM!

Day 1 down…. 4 to go. Please, Lord, let the work, because I NEED SOME FLIPPING SLEEP!

6 Weeks of Bliss

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Dear Aliyah,

You’re 6 weeks today. It’s happening, you know… when I blink and you start growing.  You’re not even looking “new born” in your face anymore.  Your little body says something differently though.  Your little body is the one thing I still can say is like a newborn.

3 days ago you were weighed and you were only 8.1lbs.  That’s itty bitty still!

You’re spoiled…. already.  You know when you’re not being held and how to spit your pacifier out and make yourself cry in ways I didn’t know a little 8lber knew how.  The SECOND that you are picked up, you compose yourself and are completely fine.  Oh, and did I mention that we fall for it EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

You have a love for your dad already that is mind blowing.  You actually coo at him and give him more smiles than me.  Speaking of first smiles, yours was on January 2nd.  For some reason you’re my little scowler though; you’d rather scowl at us then smile.  You actually rarely smile.  BUT your face makes us all smile!

I realized it was your 6 week birthday and grabbed the camera to snap a couple pictures

Have I mentioned that this little face has a way of melting me to the very core?

And in this picture I can actually see a resemblance to my family ~ can you believe it?!

I still don’t even mind when you wake me up in the middle of the night

BUT when trying to take pictures of a little baby girl, you can be sure that the older sister is going to have to get in on this action!

The two of you together = PURE, RAW, AMAZING BEAUTY!

She has to hold you literally ALL THE TIME. I’m happy you’re not so floppy and fragile {well, you still are just not as much as in the beginning} because I feel a bit better about putting you into her oh so loving hands.

When she hugs you like this, with her eyes closed, it’s like she’s soaking you up into her heart.

And when she kisses you on your cheek, it makes me want to just grab you both and hug you tight and close eyes and soak you both in.

And when I attempt to take you from your big sister, this is the look I get.

Sisters

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Tonight I caught my girls looking quite delightful like this…………

and while snapping that picture, eyes closed and the quietness of our night began………

and my heart had the most peaceful feeling overcome it. These girls will always have each other. These girls will always be sisters, and will always have that life long best friend that every girl needs.

I didn’t expect the love to be alive so early. I prepared myself for jealousy, and resistance – I was blessed with love instead. These little moments shower me with a vision of the most delicious, delectable bond that my girls will have with each other.

My family doesn’t put relationships with each other in the highest importance.  It’s so sad to me that in my family most relationships are damaged and treated like trash.  I know it’s cruel to say, but it’s real.  Even my own relationship with my sister is non existent.  Not by my choice, because I love my little sister with every ounce of my soul.  She’s my sister, she’s supposed to be my best friend.  But unfortunately, she’s at a place right now where she doesn’t want her family.  And that’s okay.  All that we can do is be here for when she realizes that we’re here unconditionally…. we will all always love her; whether she realizes this in 6 months or 6 years.

With my family, my husbands family and the dysfunction we stem from, I am determined to give my children a solid FAMILY foundation.  I don’t want my children to ever turn on each other, became hateful towards one another, and choose to destroy their relationships with each other.

I will never stand for it.  PERIOD.

I want to always see my children like this with each other ~

and while I know things won’t always be perfect, I am determined for my children to realize and know in their heart how important they are to one another.

Effecting my other babies

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Today is 2 weeks & 5 days of us being a family of 5.  I don’t think it’s been going extremely fast as I feel like Aliyah has been here with us a lot longer than that.  But she hasn’t and I’m sitting back and realizing how different things actually are.

I didn’t expect things to change much, because what’s another kid in the scheme of things?  Things are actually changing with the other two.  Things that I don’t want to change are changing.  I’m holding a lot of this in and it’s probably not a good thing, but I’m very emotional about the differences in their personalities that I’m noticing.

Jayden’s not listening as well as he did before.  I’ve been frustrated with him and my patience is worn so thin already from Ella’s new behavior issues that I just at times CAN’T HANDLE ANYTHING MORE.  It seems like when I’m at my breaking point Jayden starts acting out.  Then I sit here thinking….. holy crap what in the world am I going to do?  Then after I’m acting frustrated and irritated with Jayden I start to feel so guilty.  I expect him to always be good and be my helper, but I can’t expect these things always from him.  He’s 9, and he’s so patient and understanding when it comes to his sisters.  He knows that they’re younger and that they require more attention, and he never complains.  I owe it to him to be patient with him.  I owe it to him to make sure that I am putting aside time EVERY, SINGLE DAY for just the two of us.  Just the two of us to talk, to read, to watch a movie together….. I HAVE to make sure that he’s getting his special attention from his mom.  I HAVE to remember that he needs praise for all of the things that he does for me.  I can’t forget to let him know how grateful I am for all the help he gives me, for the hard work he puts into his school work, and for the amazing big brother he is to both of his sisters.

My Ella.  Oh my sweet, sweet girl who seriously has my heart grasped in her little hand.  She’s been my baby for the past 3 1/2 years and all of a sudden when I look at her I don’t see baby anymore; I see a girl.  Ever since I came home from the hospital she doubled in size.  She’s become more independent and doesn’t “need” me as much anymore.  I still cling to the snuggles I get when she crawls into my bed in the middle of the night.  As much as I don’t like her in my bed, it still gives me a sense of her still being my baby girl in a way.  She’s been amazing with her new baby sister.  No jealousy, just love.  She’s been a struggle though in other ways.  She isn’t listening.  At all.  To the point where I seriously just want to freak the freak out.  My patience with her has worn EXTREMELY thin and I find myself just praying that we can have one day of her cooperating and not making things difficult for me.  Actually, not even a day…. half of a day would be lovely.

But I need to realize that life for them has changed.  For Jayden it’s changed drastically, because not only has a new baby entered his life – he’s now being homeschooled.  I need to find the patience within me that they need.  I need to realize that they’re acting out because life as they knew it has changed.

Many people have told me that 3 kids is hard, and I’m realizing now that it’s the effect on the other children that makes it hard.  Adding Aliyah into the mix isn’t hard; she’s not hard.  It’s just having everybody find their new place in this growing family.  It’s me having to allow Ella to become a little girl as she so abruptly flees from being my baby.  It’s making sure that Jayden doesn’t feel like he’s getting lost in the mix of little ones.  These are the things that are hard as a mom for me.  My heart aches thinking that they might silently be struggling inside with the new changes in our life.

But in the end I know they love Aliyah so much, and I know that this too shall pass.  And until then I will lavish in these beauties that I call mine.

We’re Homeschooling! And I’m STILL pregnant

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I really got quite used to my blog break.  I must say though…. I NEEDED IT!  With everything going on in our lives right now, I needed 110% focus on my life.  Tonight as I sit in a very quiet living room, with my children fast asleep, I felt the desire to come on here and talk a bit about things going on.

I’m still pregnant!  Last doctor’s appointment was a week ago and I was dilated to a 2 and doctor didn’t think I’d make it all the way to my induction date.  Kinda put the reality of oh baby right in me!  Next appointment is Thursday and I CAN’T WAIT to see if there’s any progression.  The contractions have come more frequently and some even contain pain…. not cool!  In 2 weeks from today I will be induced, and I will get to kiss the sweet little face of my baby girl.

We are officially homeschooling!  The first week was a whirlwind and I thought to myself…. holy crap what in the world are we doing?!  There were days that Jayden would go to his room crying and I’d sit and think how is this going to work?!  Then amazingly, together we’d get down on our knees and pray to God for guidance, patience, understanding and it works.  We HAVE to start out our homeschool day with a prayer or strangely it just doens’t work.

Jayden’s thriving and loving it.  I’ve noticed Ella & Jayden becoming even more close {didn’t know that was possible} and that in itself makes me gleam inside.

Speaking of Ella we joined a preschool co-op!  She goes twice a week and LOVES IT!  I think it’s great for her too, because she’s still getting the homeschool setting (we rotate houses and who teaches weekly) but gets to be with other children her age.  We currently have 3 kids and will do a max of 4.  Ella’s been learning a lot lately.  I try to do school with her when I do school with Jayden.  She’s doing a Letter of the Week curriculum at home.  I’m not pushing her or drilling in her head things that I want her to know, I’m just introducing her and letting her take her time and enjoy letters.

So… the Garibays are happy, healthy and EXTREMELY busy!  I should be having more time to blog now that I feel things dwindling down a bit.  I had to get used to the new schedule of not working and homeschooling.  It’s working and we’re loving it!

4th Myaversary ~ *Heavy Image*

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Yesterday was our 4th Myaversary.  4 years ago yesterday we found out our baby girl was no longer alive inside of me.  Hardest most excruciating pain I’ve ever experienced inside.

I talk about {Mya} often.  She’s not something I’ve pushed under the rug and moved easily on with life.  She is a part of me, and she is my daughter.  A daughter I haven’t met yet, but a daughter I felt inside of me.  She was growing inside of me, she kicked inside of me, she grew into my heart while she was inside of me.

We always send off balloons to Mya to heaven every year on our Myaversary.  I don’t know why we’ve never taken pictures of the balloons we’ve sent to her before, but this year was a special balloon and we took a special trip for her.

This year I wasn’t sad like I am normally on our Myaversary.  I think it has a lot to do with the if there was a Mya, there’d be no Ella.  Mya served a beautiful purpose in mending a broken marriage.  Mya served a beautiful purpose in bring a family that was so close to be broken to knowing what we mean to each other.  Mya made a way for Ella to enter this world into a family that was a family.  A family that was loving.  A family that was stable.

Mya, I thank you every day for making our family what it is today.  And that is something to celebrate.  And this face right here, is a face of a little girl with pure joy and happiness in her heart…. and I couldn’t fathom a life without her in it.

Our trip to the Oregon coast was a fun trip, but the wind was horrible! Made it very unenjoyable for Ella, but I did manage to get this cute picture of my family

Ella spent the majority of the time screaming if I didn’t have her covered entirely in a towel to protect her from the blowing sand. Such a bummer, because the weather was BEAUTIFUL! Here’s my 2 wind blown babies.

This windblown baby loved everything about the trip…. loved the water, the wind, the birds to chase and I don’t post much about my Sophie girl… but here she is

and my wonderful husband managed to get this beautiful belly pic of me at 27 weeks pregnant with our newest baby girl that will be joining our family in December.

Then it came time to let go of the balloon for Mya ~ I found this special rose balloon, so I sent her off a Rose. You can click on the picture to make it bigger.

Our trip was quick, but it was a beautiful day. We celebrated what a beautiful little girl gave us, taught us and helped us become.

Mya,

I love you more than I’ll ever be able to explain. You will always be a special part of our lives, and we will always continue to celebrate our Myaversary. I know that you are with us, and that you watch over your little family. I know one day we will get to meet, and until that day I hope that I will continue to feel you around me.

I love you ~ Love, Mama