Category Archives: Faith

PRIDE

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I’m not even going to begin to tell you that this scripture journal was my idea, because Shannon over at {The Red Headed Hostess} is responsible for my inspiration in creating my first scripture journal.  I don’t know if Shannon has any idea how many lives she probably impacts with her blog full of a wealth of information – but she definitely has impacted me in my life.  If you’ve been reading my blog long, then you’ll know that I’m a QUOTE junkie….she inspired me with being able to mix reading my scriptures, to recording my quotes, to speaking to my children about things I feel are important.

I don’t know if you’re a Christian, if you like to read things re scriptures, and if you’re not I don’t want you to read this and start high tailing it the other way, because when I speak about my scripture journal and share with you the insights I’ve had, a lot of the time they’ll be on topics that even the non-Christian can possibly take something from.

Through  my researching and studying I’ve found myself shockingly more inspired with things to write in my scripture journal than I expected myself to.  BUT I also know that blogging always helps tie things together for me, I thought maybe I’d share one of my favorite quotes that I found and share my insights on what it means to me, and what I hope my children will get from it as well.  My insights and thoughts are 110% for my children and their children, and their childrens’ children – I want my words and thoughts and insights and questions to trickle down and inspire them.

The scriptures testify that the proud are easily offended and hold grudges.  They withhold forgiveness to keep another in their debt and to justify their injured feelings.

My life is a perfect example of this.  I am the QUEEN of injured feelings.  I’m easily offended, which is something that I hope to be able to overcome.  I don’t think I’ve fully grasped yet exactly why being offended makes you a proud person {which gives me a great path to research on my pride journey} BUT I do know that holding grudges and trying to injure others with holding out on forgiving them does.

I started researching pride yesterday for my first scripture topic and I’ve given myself all of today to ponder this topic – yikes I’m definitely a prideful person, and thankfully I’m able to be more aware on this trait.  I thought about difficult people in our lives that make it very hard to give forgiveness, and people who continually hurt us in our lives.  What are we supposed to do then?  I guess the answer to this question is we have to forgive them in our hearts and then turn around and protect our hearts afterwards.  My dad is a perfect example of this: constantly in and out, acting like he cares, then proving that he doesn’t.  I have held a grudge in my heart and no matter how much I want to forgive him, he will continue to hurt me with every time I try to allow him back into my life.  In situations like this, I think the best thing to do is pray that they might someday realize how their actions and their prideful attitudes hurt people who matter.  I don’t think it’s our place to try to get them to see that they are hurting you – but it’s your place to not hold resentful and negative feelings towards them.  The negative feelings of holding things like this towards anybody in your heart brings such negativity to your life, that it’s not even worth it.  In the end, being a prideful person is only going to hurt YOU.

Continuing on with having things offend me, and people’s words hurt me – I tend to be offended, but I also try to realize that sometimes people say things out of ignorance and they usually have their own issues that they need to deal with.  Racist comments, which I’ve heard a lot of lately, highly offend me.  Instead of lashing out and holding a grudge and being angry and bitter inside, I find myself telling myself that unfortunately there are very close minded people who have their own prideful issues within them.  Having a mindset like that is what I’m grasping is the opposite of being a proud person. It is not our place to point that out or fix them – all we can honestly do is pray for them.  Heck, if I grasped hate in my heart towards every person who offends me then I really wouldn’t have much left in my life.  As for the people who hold hate in their heart towards me, that’s really none of my business right?  I have to realize that that’s their own issues that they have to work through.

I’m realizing that this topic of pride is HUGE.  There’s so many curves and roads I can travel on to press into this topic even further, which I just might do.

A different outlook, a new path – my life.

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It’s very easy for me to allow life to get in the way of my faith.  Not a statement I’m very proud of, and definitely not a statement I enjoy being able to say.  But it’s a truth for me.

Today I finally took the plunge and went back to church.  I needed it.  I needed to hear whatever message would be awaiting me – and THANK GOODNESS I did.  Every message in every class was like this amazing breath of fresh air – the kind you didn’t know you really needed until your soul expanded with it.

My journey with church really hasn’t been a very long one.  I just can’t count my childhood experiences with church in my journey, because it wasn’t stable, consistent, nor did it have much of my thoughts and heart into it.  Back in 2007 when my family first started going to church I found myself molding very quickly in the “Mormon” form.  I think that I molded into what was expected of me so quickly that it just was too much for me.  I actually found myself being overwhelmed with it all, and when I’m overwhelmed I tend to want to turn around and walk the other way.

I started to compare myself to others at my church, realize that my thoughts will never be like theirs {funny I even thought I KNEW what their thoughts are}, and found myself not agreeing with certain aspects of the church.  I do 110% with all of my heart and soul believe in the Mormon church – there has never, ever, EVER in my entire life ever held one ounce of doubt on that being what I believe to be the church of Jesus Christ.  HOWEVER…. certain things that the church was putting energy into just really bugged and annoyed me.  One example: Proposition 8 – I don’t believe that our church needed to put forth so much effort in trying to stop gay people from getting married – I don’t share the same views on this as the majority of my church does.  I don’t see anything wrong with allowing them to be married, to be happy – who are we to stop that?  I didn’t like how I felt like certain members held themselves at a higher level than other people.  These were the things I struggled with.

I’ve had a lot of time to ponder things and I think it took me a while to realize that NONE of the above matters.  Those are things that are happening in not only my church, but a heck of a lot of other churches as well.  At the end of the day all that matters is my relationship with Heavenly Father and my example to my children.  I don’t need to worry about the social aspect of the church, the people of the church, some of the things the church does that I don’t agree with – all that matters is that I am there with my children to soak in whatever message Heavenly Father has for me and to give my children the values that I think are important.  And I have no problems with being ME while going to church.  I’m not perfect, I never will be – and I’m not going to change me.  I’ll continue to grow inside and keep the principles that are so important within me, but I’m not going to completely change who I am just to go to church.  I’m going continue watching R rated movies, and reading books that have hot as hell scenes in them.  I’m not going to stop doing the things I don’t have an issue with – and this is what I believe separates me from the majority of the members of my church.

So – I’m here at a new road in this journey, with a different outlook and attitude for it.

I feel so good about how my life is going right now.  Gino and I have been setting some amazing goals to tackle together and are continuing to just grow closer and closer together as a married couple.  Marriage is definitely not a walk in the park, but I feel overwhelmed with thankfulness that we are so blessed to be rewarded with happiness together for sticking with each other through all of the hard times.

The exciting thing about life, is we each have our very own; we each get to direct our own courses.  I love that what’s constraining for me might be an area of expertise on the people close in my life, and vice versa – I love this because together the people who are amazing forces in our lives are people who we can learn so much from.  I hope through my life’s journey I might be able to enlighten my friends and families on values and philosophies that I learn along the way just as I have learned from them – and continue to learn.

I am one lucky person to be surrounded by so many inspiring and selfless people on this journey in life that I am venturing on.  I love each and every one of you who have ever put any sort of profound effect on my life.  Everyone always enters our life for a reason, and Heavenly Father uses us all as tools to help Him do his work on this earth.  I want to be able to look back at my life one day and smile knowing that I was aware of the different lessons and attributes that each soul bestowed into my life.

 

The impact that it had on me was astounding

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I’m raising a sneaky little snake.  Jayden lost his tooth last night and stuck it under his pillow with so much excitement in him I felt it flow through me.  The kid is almost 10 and believes in all the magical things still – including the tooth fairy.  He goes up later that night to go to bed and looks under his pillow to check on his first molar that he’s ever lost, and it was GONE!  After searching EVERYWHERE for it, we decided that he just needed to write the tooth fairy a letter explaining what had happened.  At that point Ella decided that she would go up and help him find it – the little sneaky butt girl led Jayden right to her pillow where his tooth was!

Yesterday I saw Jayden’s sensory issues truly affect him – pretty much broke my heart in two.  We went to a birthday party at a place called Science Works – there was a lot of kids, and a lot of parents, and a lot of noise which all caused Jayden to end up in the corner with his ears plugged. It made me so sad for him, but it made me feel so secure in our decision to bring him home from public school.  I wonder how many times something like that happened at school and how his mom wasn’t there to snatch him up and flee the situation.  I know that there are a lot of kids out there that have this and their parents probably aren’t putting them under a rock like I’m probably doing, but I can’t stand to see my sweet Jayden feeling that way. 

All of the kids at the party looked like they were having so much fun and clicked and connected together – even my Ella – but Jayden was a different story.  He didn’t cling to any of the boys, just played with himself.  I went to some of the exhibits with him and he honestly didn’t care that he was looking at the stuff by himself.  That’s just him – he’s okay with who he is and that some kids probably find him odd.  He told me recently when we were discussing how one of his really good friends at school called him gay that “friends just sometimes are there and sometimes go and do their thing, and that’s okay.”  Saying I’m thankful that God trusted US with HIM is a complete understatement, because I will probably learn more about life through that little boy than I ever could have without him.  And he’s right, friends do come and go and they leave their marks on your heart, teach you a lesson that you needed, and when they’ve served God’s purpose in being in your life they flutter off.  It’s like seasons, they change.  One of my favorite quotes is “Don’t be sad it’s over, be glad it happened.”  I hope that Jayden will be able to keep his optimistic views on life and people that he has forever.  My goodness that boy is amazing.

I was introduced to Stephanie Nielson’s blog {Nie Nie Dialogues} yesterday.  The impact that it had on me was astounding – all of the petty stuff that I’ve been worrying about suddenly felt so insignificant, and the bigger picture of life shone down on me and put chills all over my body and tears in my eyes.  For somebody to have such an enchanting and positive outlook on life after having 80% of their body burned is UH-MA-ZING!   I then went and found her {interview done} on Conversations, which is a Mormon podcast that sealed the deal on my new addiction to her life.  WOW. There are no words that can even explain what that interview can do to your faith and your direction in life.  Yesterday I felt down about all sorts of happenings going on in my life, especially the challenges that Jayden is and will be going through throughout his life – But the Nielson’s story touched me.  It just sheds light on the fact that we can and should find the silver lining in life.   

Let’s be real here –

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I’m LDS.

I was born into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints {Mormon}.

But I didn’t go to church all my life.

In fact church is rather new to me. Within the past few years new.

I have to come out and talk about a few things that really bother me. Things I keep to myself, or share with my husband.

But I’m disappointed.

I’m disappointed because this church is supposed to signify something so much more. Let me scratch that and start over…. THE PEOPLE in this church are supposed to signify something so much more. I know we’re not all perfect, which is why we all go to church. But GOSH! Why do some Mormons have to act like they are so much better than you? Yes, even as a member of this church I get that.

I just want to tell you that if you have ever been curious about the church and have been turned off by a holier than thou member – they’re not supposed to act like that. They are no better than you just because they are going to church and you are not…. or because they are going to THAT church and you are not. Trust me… Jesus sure wouldn’t be patting them on the back for treating you like that.

Don’t get me wrong…. I’m very much LDS ~ my whole heart believes in everything it stands for, but sometimes….. sometimes…. the people just have a way of ruining it for me.

I have to remember ~ it’s about the church and not the people.

It’s times like this that I wish that my blog was anonymous. That’s a mistake I think I made when I went public with it, because there are many things I wish I could come on here and talk about ~ stories that you would spit whatever it is that you’re drinking at your computer screen, because it is seriously THAT FLIPPING FUNNY.

But…. there are many people that would be offended….. people in real life. And my grandpa totally reads this blog… he might not enjoy reading about the fact that my 3 year old found my “fun bag” and started wearing certain things as bracelets. And she got into it TWICE in 1 day. Yes… I gotta get with the program and hide stuff here!

Maybe I should just be ME more on here. Recreating an entire blog just to be anonymous makes my butt pucker at the very thought. And then I might get a face like this –

and can I just add…. there’s really not THAT many members of the church that act like this – I am blessed to have met some amazing friends through my church. And it’s everywhere – I talk to life long members that have gone to church their ENTIRE LIVES and even they get the attitude of these few members who think they are the $H**& – sucks that their egos or whatever have to exist, but apparently they have demons of their own they have to sort through.

Just a Motivating Monday ~ Forgiveness

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I LOVE inspiring things to motivate me and I thought what better of a day to read inspiration than on dreadful Mondays. If you would like to write something you think will inspire or motivate others PLEASE grab the button and link up!! I’d love to read your words and I’m sure that others would as well!

This week I’m stealing from myself. This post has a portion of an old post that was originally posted for Just a Motivating Monday back on November 16, 2009. I stole the main jist of it and am going to add a different, updated final thought at the end. With that said……..

Everybody has been hurt by someone they love. Or maybe you hurt someone you love. The point is… we have to be able to forgive in our heart.

President Hinckley of the LDS Church once said in an article:

“Somehow forgiveness, with love and tolerance, accomplishes miracles that can happen in no other way.”

I know it is so hard at times to forgive people, but are you perfect? Have you gone through your whole life not doing a thing wrong to someone? Have you been forgiven? Forgiving somebody, especially yourself can be one of the hardest things in this world to do. But if you are virtuous and want to be forgiven, you yourself MUST do this.


Tips to Forgive~


  • Pray to Heavenly Father and ask Him for His help. He can soften your heart and help you to forgive.
  • Get rid of the bitterness. If you’re still plotting out ways to get even the forgiving process is no where near.
  • Once you have forgiven, let it go. Don’t hold on to it, because that’s holding a grudge… which does not mean you have forgiven.
  • Don’t focus so much on the negative things that have happened to you. If you are focusing on the positive things in your life, and the positive things people have done for you, you will be able to forgive the negative things easier. There’s no point in holding on to negativity when there’s so much positivity to welcome into your heart.
  • You need to remember that when you are forgiving, it’s for you. It’s not for the person that did you wrong, but it is for you and your exaltation. It’s a process you must go through, and you will be forgiving others for you.

A very good friend of mine… you can find her on twitter @jenhoehne contributed to this post by saying:

“I think that forgiveness is one of those words like “love” that people use loosley. To truly forgive someone means you have let go of any ill will and no longer harbor feelings of anger or angst toward another person.


Forgiving ourselves goes hand in hand with forgiving others. We are often times harder on ourselves than the person or people we have wronged. Forgiving others means letting go of hurt they have caused you and forgiving yourself is learning to love yourself after you have caused another person pain. Both are crutial in the eternal realm of this life and critical to our salvation and prosperity hereafter.”

My Final Thoughts ~

I have people, very close people, do me wrong.  They’ve said things to me that stabbed me in the heart and at one point I thought I’d never want them back in my life again.  Reading my final thoughts from this post back in 2009 made me smile at who I’ve become and grown into.  I have a lot of forgiveness in my heart, because I know that I’m not perfect.  I know that horrible things can be said and done ~ but today can also be the first day of the rest of your life.  Today can be a fresh start with a clear heart.  None of us are perfect.  You are not perfect.  I am not perfect.  We can grow from our mistakes, and we can start fresh today.

That is the beauty of forgiveness.

I’m traveling down a road of forgiveness and it feels so good.  I’m even letting go of hurt feelings that I’ve clung onto for many years towards my dad.  I’m forgiving and growing my relationship with him with a fresh slate.  It feels amazingly wonderful.

I hope that this post in some way will inspire you to start on the road of forgiveness ~ most importantly for yourself.




Motivating Monday ~ Gratitude

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**SORRY ABOUT THE SMALL FONT… HAVING ISSUES W/IT TONIGHT ~ WILL TRY TO FIX TOMORROW**


I LOVE inspiring things to motivate me and I thought what better of a day to read inspiration than on dreadful Mondays. If you would like to write something you think will inspire or motivate others PLEASE link up!! I’d love to read your words and I’m sure that others would as well!

Every 6 months in our church we are so blessed to hear from the leaders in our church along with hearing beautiful, inspiring words from our living prophet. If you are curious as to what Mormons do believe in you can go HERE.

I didn’t get to watch all of the sessions of conference, but lucky for me I have them all recorded on my DVR, so throughout this next week I’ll be soaking up the words and be INSPIRED! Which, as most people know is my all time favorite thing.

For today I wanted to share a quote with you that touched my heart ~

“If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues” ~ President Thomas S Monson

I have lots to say about a lot of the things that inspired me this weekend, but another quote that inspired me this weekend was this…..

“Love in home and family is spelled t-i-m-e” – President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

and this beautiful Sunday evening is about to be spent with my family so I hope these words touch your heart like they did me… I can’t wait to share more with everyone.

Personal Revelation? Or just coincidence?

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This weekend my husband and I got to go out on a date.  You have no IDEA how needed this date truely was.  We have gone from spending LITERALLY Every. Single. Day together…. since he doesn’t leave for work until the evening, and I stay home…. to NEVER seeing each other. 

It’s a change.

Probably a good, needed change.

But regardless, it’s a change.

And I miss him SO. FLIPPING. MUCH!

So this date was very much so needed.

This post isn’t about our date though.  It’s about something that occured on the date and something that has me REALLY thinking… hard about how God uses us to do his work.  If we stop and actually try to read into the feelings we receive or the thoughts that randomly enter our brain, we might put our finger on what it is that he’s trying to get us to do to help Him.  I call this personal revelation and I truly believe that each and every single one of us receives personal revelation from Him.

At one point during my date my eyes wandered over to a man and his date.  I instantly looked deep into this mans face to see if it was the boyfriend of my sister’s mother {one of my sister’s from my dad}.  I have no idea why I did this or why I would even think it was him, but something inside of me was suspicious.  Seeing this man put in my head a weird feeling about “George” {we’re changing his name up to protect his identity}.

Now here’s what I don’t get, people.  I never see my sister’s mom, her boyfriend or even think about them.  I do know that they live in separate homes, but they are TOGETHER and they share 2 babies.  I recently did a photoshoot of their cute babies {HERE}

Now, let’s fast forward to the end of our date.  My husband and I are walking out to our car from the movie theater when this man holding this blonde’s hand caught my eye…. so I looked and then I stopped DEAD IN MY TRACKS.  By golly gee… it was “George”!  AND he was holding hands with another woman walking towards the theater.

I did what anyone would do… I hope, and I called my sister {who was babysitting my children} and she called her mom.  And her mom went to the theaters and BUSTED him.

Now…. here’s my thing.  Why was I constantly looking for any man that would resemble “George”?  I believe that if we pay very close attention to the feelings that we feel deep inside there probably is a reason for it.  Maybe not every feeling or suspicion, but if something hits you out of the middle of nowhere, it just might be personal revelation from God.

Call me crazy, but I believe that God put me at that exact moment and had me aware looking for what was going to be happening.  And I’m thankful that He did.

List of Randoms

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Randoms ~ things going through my mind

~ I have become completely obsessed with cleaning out my garage. I think about it all day while I’m at work and every box I empty out I seriously feel like doing a happy dance.

~Once the garage is completely cleaned out I have plans on making a super awesome playroom since baby #3 will mean less room.

~I have found things while cleaning out my garage that are priceless and things I thought were lost…. Mya’s u/s picture. This might sound morbid, but I really wish that they would have printed out an u/s picture when we discovered that she had passed away. I wonder if it’s in my charts that the Sacramento office sent over to my Medford OBGYN. I just might ask. The u/s picture I found was from our first appt. There’s just a little sac, but she was in it and that is something I always want to treasure.

~Now that I’ve found her u/s picture I want to create a shadow box in remembrance of her. And get another urn necklace made w/the remainder of her ashes to put inside of it. I am so relieved that we still have ashes since Ella flushed my original urn necklace down the toilet…. That was a sad, sad day.

~I’ve also found my mother’s Book of Mormon from when she was a little girl. That to me is a priceless treasure.

~My daughter is turning 3 on Saturday. She’s overwhelmingly excited for her party on Saturday and I’m overwhelmingly excited for her! She’s anticipated this day for a VERY long time.

~I’m on my 3rd week of work. I’m surviving and I actually kind of enjoy it. The break from the house was probably much needed, especially with a new baby on the way…. But my heart definitely misses my kids.

~I had a prenatal appointment yesterday. Very uneventful, but those are the best in my opinion. I was in and out and won’t be back for another 4 weeks. Baby’s heartbeat was beautiful. On Sunday I will be 6 months pregnant! It’s flying by! Still have no morning sickness and have been feeling absolutely wonderful. About dang time!

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Faith ~ Scripture Journal

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Attn my dear blog readers.  I understand that my Faith is likely to be different than your’s and while I may make references to my faith at times I try to speak from my heart on a certain values or subjects.  So, while you might not believe in what I believe in, you might find a little nugget from my heart that might touch your’s.  And my brain is scattered and sometimes my blog posts might come off that way as well 
With that said….. 

Without faith we don’t have much.  I was born LDS, but was not necessarily raised LDS.  I don’t think I ever once had a sturdy go to church every Sunday structure in my life.  Honestly, I didn’t know much about the church, but there was a seed that was planted in my heart at a very young age, and that seed grew.  So while I never knew much about the church my heart belonged to, in my heart and with faith I knew this church was true.

I’ve been studying up on Faith, which is a very important value in all of our lives.  I think this scripture pretty much sums up Faith in the most amazing way {Alma 32:17-32}.  

Without faith, what dreams would we have.  I dream big and I dream with faith.  I have faith that my dreams will come true.  I live my life knowing with faith that my family will be a family for all eternity.  Do I have perfect knowledge of this?  No, but it definitely gives me something to be thankful for.  If I had perfect knowledge would I experience the lessons in life that I experience?  Probably not. If I had perfect knowledge would there be much room for forgiveness from Heavenly Father for my sins?  Probably not.  

President Spencer W. Kimball once wrote a book called {Faith Precedes the Miracle} which is definitely on my list of must reads.  In it he talks of how men reverses the process of Faith.  Using a seed for example we plant a seed with FAITH that a blossom will form.  We don’t expect to see a blossom without planting the seed, right?  We as human have reversed the process.  We expect results without exercising Faith.  I quote from President Kimball “We want to have health and strength without keeping the health laws.  We want to have prosperity without paying our tithes.  We want to be close to the Lord but don’t want to fast and pray.”

We have to have faith that there is a reason that God has set up our lives the way that they are set up.  We have to have faith that there is a purpose to every day.  We have to have a faith that we will be together with our families for all eternity, because could you fathom the contrary?  Faith gets us through each day, through our lives, but we have to remember that the miracle comes after Faith.  If you have a dream, you have to have faith in God that he will help you do everything possible to make that dream come true.

With parenting and marriage I think I have experienced far more faith than ever in my life.  Not only faith in God, but faith in myself, faith in my husband, faith in my children.  Parenting alone has so many trials and without faith I don’t know how I’d get through my day.  Even the little things, faith that bedtime will indeed come and I will have that peace I so desperately need, faith that the tantrum being thrown will pass.  Faith that the phases that they go through that make you want to literally pull every single hair out of your head is just indeed a phase.  Faith in yourself that you are what your children need.  

Marriage, I have to have faith that my marriage will succeed all trials that it faces.  I have to have faith that he loves only me, as he has to have faith that I only love him.  We do not have perfect knowledge of these things, which is why in marriage faith is one of the most important things there is.  Faith in our sacred relationship is what helps us get through the trials.  I have faith that every trial we face is dealt to us for a reason and that there is a lesson to be learned through it.  In my marriage we have faced some ROUGH, and I mean ROUGH ROUGH ROUGH trials.  I’ve said it before on my blog, things people throw the towel in over and call it quits, but FAITH kept us together.  Faith that we were bigger than the trials we went through, and Faith that God would help us to get to the point we needed to be at in order to continue on with our marriage ~ and love each other.

I close this post with a quote from {Alma 32:21} “Faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true.”
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Parenting…. hardest most rewarding thing in the world

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I know all parents think this, but this isn’t all parents’ blog…. this is Jayden & Ella’s mom’s blog.  So in my eyes, and in my world they are the best thing that God has put on this earth.

Parenting is so challenging and patience is such a hard thing to have, but tonight as I looked at my children I knew patience is the one thing they deserve more from me than anything else.  Pregnant or not, hormonal or not, messy house or not…. these kids deserve patience.  And patience is exactly what I’ve been lacking during this pregnancy.

Sometimes I really don’t feel like I’m the best mom.  I know there’s no “best” mom out there, and compared to people who leave their children to go party, leave them at daycare all day while working just to pick them up and drop them off somewhere else, because they can’t handle them and would rather pawn them off onto someone else ~ I’m a heck of a lot better than that, but I’m just feeling sucky.  Morning sickness really has a way of messing up your everything in life.  The exhaustion of pregnancy makes you feel completely helpless, and have food aversions makes everything even worse.

But I have to remember, that I am a good mom.  These kids are the entire center of my world and they are why I do everything I do in my life.  I really hope that their memories of their childhood consists of good ones, and I’m making it my ultimate goal for them to remember their mom as an excellent mom.

While life has been a bit hard through this pregnancy, this too shall pass.  My pregnancy with Ella wasn’t the easiest, and I actually threw up every day of it ~ but that’s not what I dwell on, and that’s not strong in Jayden’s memories.

~I love my children 
when they’re sleeping soundly and life is calm and quiet, 
I stare at them and pray to God to give me what my children need… 
patience, love, understanding and faith 
most of all faith.~
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