Category Archives: Family

A Scattered Thought

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The following is something I wrote earlier and thought I would use it as my Works for me Wednesday post. ~~~

As a parent we make mistakes. It’s what happens and I believe that there is a reason that we as parents make mistakes. Not only for us to learn from so we can do better with the next, but also for our children to learn from them, and apply them to their lives AS THEY SEE FIT.

I’ve been having some thoughts lately that I feel I need to get out. So here it goes, and this is not directed toward any person – it’s just some values I’ve been learning as I’ve been growing. I believe that opinions you have on someone should stay to yourself. I do not believe that pushing your opinions, your values and how you think things should be is going to help. While we all learn from our parents mistakes we have to live life to learn from our own as well.

Marriage is a sacred bond between 2 people. 2 people. Not 3, not 4 and definitely not between all the parents, inlaws, grandparents, aunts, uncles – you get my drift. I believe that if a marriage is in trouble, leave it be. If the married couple wants to split that’s their choice. If the married couple is happy with their troubled marriage, let it be. If they’re happier than anyone you know, let it be. Do not talk about them to others. Let their situation be their situation. If they come to you to cry, to rant, to rave listen. Don’t tell them what you think has to be done, just listen. We all need to cry, rant & rave, but we don’t want to hear negativity of our own situations from others, and we definitely don’t want others to turn around and gossip.

If someone makes a decision for their lives that you believe is stupid or irresponsible, let it be. Keep your opinion to yourself, because it’s their life. It’s their dreams, it’s what they want. Most importantly, don’t go and talk about it with other people. Gossip is not good. Gossip destroys trust. Gossip destroys your soul, and I’m starting to realize this.

If you have an opinion on someone else’s life keep it to yourself, unless they ask for it. If someone calls you and needs someone to talk to, please listen and not judge.

I’m saying these things, because I feel sad when I hear people talking about other people’s marriages. I wouldn’t like that done to me, and I hope it never happens. We have to live life for ourselves and not for others.

Many people have actually suggested that I get my tubes tied since my IUD is going to be taken out. That offends me. That is by far the most personal decision that anyone will ever make and there is no way I’m going to do that. To me, having kids, not having kids and marriage issues are personal and outsiders should not have a say. I know this is all a little scattered, but I’ve grown into a person that is independent. I’ve come a long way and actually used to HAVE to have my mommy close by. If I was sick I was on her door step crying. For me to pick up and move and see how life is when you are by yourself, raising your family I have learned how important it is to not drag others into your situations. That is a huge step for me and I’m proud of myself. I’m happier this way and I hope that our family will be happy with any decisions that we make as a married couple and strong, solid family, because whatever decisions WE make in life is for us and not everyone else.

OK, I feel really good for getting that out.

For other WFMW posts check out Shannon’s Blog

Baby Steps – This step was great!

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I actually don’t feel like I had a very productive week. I was hoping to get the spice cupboard organized and I failed at that. However, I talked about my laundry problem last week and I’m proud to announce that I did continue with my laundry and have about 1 load left. That is by far the most shocking thing ever in my life!!!

Here’s my HUGE tackle of the week and it has nothing to do with housework. I have been talking about one of my sisters from my father that I alienate myself from. You can read about it HERE. She’s 15 and I came to the realization that she’s a really sweet girl and I should try to start a relationship with her. She’s 15 and that’s such a hard time in life and it would be great if I could be a good role model. We both have the same dad and we both didn’t grow up with him, well she kinda did. Anyways…. today I picked her up from school and we went to see a movie together. We had SO MUCH FUN!!! We saw ‘What Happens In Vegas’ and we laughed from the beginning all the way to the end.

It was such a big tackle for me and I feel good about myself for opening up to her and letting her in my life. I hope that this relationship will grow and I will soon feel like she is my sister, since technically she is.

Staying positive

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I must say today was a *Bee-u-tiful* day! The sun was shining, the birds were singing ~ all in all it was a glorious day. Okay… the sun wasn’t shining, but the birds definitely were singing. They’ve been building a contraption in some vent that is above my stove. We hear them.

I did have a better day today. I definitely believe that the blessing that I received helped TONS. My husband getting a new battery put into my car helped tons. Praying and begging for some sort of peace inside of me is helping tons.

I have noticed that patience is growing slowly inside of me, and that’s the most important thing. When you lose your patience it’s almost extremely frightening. Your children rely on patience. Your marriage relies on patience. When you lose your patience you can lose it all.

I’m hoping that my hormone levels are regulating themselves. I haven’t called my doctor’s office to schedule getting the Mirena removed, but will be putting a phone call in to them tomorrow.

Step 1 Taken

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As I was saying earlier today I need to try to make an effort with my 15 year old sister Alyssa, who lives here. I saw her today up at my grandparent’s when I went to go pick up my battery and I asked her if she wanted to go to the movies tomorrow. She seemed excited! I felt really good about it inside. So, we’re going to go and see What Happens In Vegas, which is a movie I’ve really been wanting to see.

Step 1 has been taken and I feel really good about it.

A step in a positive direction…. I hope

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I think it’s time for me to soften my heart a little and reach out to one of my sisters from my father. Yesterday my cousin who I’m very close to showed up with her baby and had my sister Alyssa (15) with her. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. I’d made a decision that I really didn’t want to get involved with my dad, and she’s a part of him.

She sat in my living room and talked of how she’s going through some things in her life and I felt bad. Here I have a girl that wants a part of my life, of my kids life and I’m backing away into a dark and lonely corner. She’s never done anything to me. If anything, she kindof (KINDOF) had it like me. She didn’t have the luxury of having my father in her life all the time. However, she did have him. Her mom made sure of it. She has a relationship with him where she actually feels love for him in her heart. I wonder how that feels. I wonder how it feels to have a dad to rely on.

I think I should take baby steps with this and start out by taking her to get our toes done together. It’s not her fault. She’s actually a really enjoyable girl, and I need to do this. I need to stop alienating myself from them all. Baby steps. My goal of the week is to call her and plan a time for us to do something together.

Sincerely Fro’ Me to You – Sand Dollar Baller

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I am SUPER excited about this carnival that Kristen from “We are THAT Family” you know what, Kristen – we so are too! LOL Anways… it’s called Sincerely, Fro’ Me to You. It’s a carnival on taking a trip down memory lane.

Let me explain why this is the most perfect carnival for me. This blog is my family history. This blog is going to be printed every year and put into a hard cover book for my children and their children and their children to enjoy. I’m so happy that I will have something weekly that will force me to dig into memory lane to share with all the generations to come.

So for my first time ever participating…..

Dear Mom,

Do you remember the summer after Delphi? This particular summer you were in New Orleans. I came to visit and had the summer of a lifetime. We were walking down the French Quarters and there was a door open of some bar and I looked in and there was actually a male stripper and when I looked down there was a ton of guys stuffing money in his thong LOL. Remember the creepy guy that was following us?

There’s one moment in my life that I will never forget as long as I live. I don’t think I’d ever been more mad at you than I was at that moment. You know, the moment that you almost had me walking into a little shop on the beach to sell them the sand dollars I “found” on the beach for $300 each! You know, the sand dollars that you dropped in the sand behind me, just to lead me into thinking I was finding a gold mine and was going to be rich! I’ll never forget that. In fact, I think packed in the garage I still have those sand dollars. I’m glad that you and John had such a hysterical laugh over it. I’ll never forget how mad I was. I was only 12… you tell me anything and I’ll believe it. I had plans for that money, Mom! I was planning on buying one of those Sony Discmans… remember, the yellow ones that supposedly wouldn’t make your CDs skip.

I still wish that you really could take sand dollars in and sell them for $300 each. I’m so happy that you made things so memorable for me, even if at the time I wasn’t really all that happy with the little jokes you’d play on me. I love you, Mom!

Sincerely,

Fro’ Me to You, Mom

Building A Strong Family

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Remember the days when families used to sit together as a family for dinner. Talk about their days and bring laughter into their lives. Our society has cut this out of their lives and it’s sad. It’s sad that families are so busy that they don’t stop to appreciate what God has given them. A beautiful family that should be providing each other with unconditional love.

Bringing families close and together is a very important thing to the Mormon church, as it is to most religions. We implement something into our homes that strengthens our families and all it takes is one night a week.

It’s called Family Home Evening. Monday nights, the majority of the members of the church are gathered together in their homes strengthening the bonds that God has given us with our families. It’s a date and time that’s a guarantee in each of our homes that we will be together as a family, without media, without stresses, just us, God and the ones we love.

The way Family Home Evening is typically organized is as follows:

Opening Prayer
Sing a church song together
Quick lesson on any of these topics
Family Activity
Special Treat
Closing Song
Closing Prayer

You don’t have to be a member of the Mormon church to practice this. You don’t have to even give lessons or sing songs. Just having a set day a week to do some family activity together will do amazing things. Even if it’s just playing a board game and eating some ice cream afterwards.

Today is Monday, which means “Family Home Evening Time” We are going to be giving a lesson on Honesty. Our family activity will be planning what decorations we’re going to do for Papa Norm’s new studio at a nearby Retirement community. He should be arriving on the 1st and I already have the keys. So, we’re going to have it decorated when he walk in, so it feels like home. Tonight we’ll have Jayden draw some pictures and we’ll plan out what we will need to go over and decorate – then next Monday night our activity will be doing the actual decorations. Our special treat will be Cookies N’ Cream Pie…. mmmmmm I definitely can’t wait for that!

I hope that I get some of you out there to join in with me. I’ll try to update every Monday with what he have planned. If you have ideas for great lesson ideas or activities, or even a yummy treat recipe you’d like to share please leave a comment and share it. Remember, you don’t have to be Mormon to have a Family Home Evening. It’s the perfect opportunity to have your entire family together to talk about any family topics that need to be discussed also 🙂

Our Friday Family Project

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Yesterday was an In-service day at Jayden’s school so that means NO SCHOOL! I wanted to do something special with him so we out to lunch together and talked about what fun project we could do together. We decided to surprise Daddy at work and went to go and buy some planting stuff. Jayden had given me some flowers for Mother’s Day and I thought it would be fun to repot them. So off to Home Depot we went. The store that I think almost everyone can get lost in and leave with an empty bank account. Target’s a little like that as well – might even be a little worse for me.

So, we ended up buying a new hose w/a sprayer on it, some cute little Terracotta pots with turtles on them. We planted tomatoes & strawberries in those. I kill plants. I’ve never had a green thumb, but I really want to try here. I want to have a garden and be like all the other Mormons out there! One of the plants that I killed, which is also one my husband tried so hard to keep alive, was planted in a pretty little pot. So we ripped the plant out and planted the flowers that Jayden gave me for Mother’s Day. He loved it! Gino got home in time to help us with our project, so it became a family project…. nothing’s better than that!

Resentment

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I go to pick up Jayden every day from school. There’s a little girl that walks up to me daily and hugs me as she walks to her class from lunch and I can’t even look her in the eye. I’m 25 years old and she’s only 9. As she walks up to me to hug me I try to pretend like she doesn’t exist. I know this is an iniquity, and something that I probably should really pray about, but I honestly can’t help myself.

This little girl was never abandoned and I was. This little girl has had her daddy all of her life, and I have not. I wouldn’t say I’m jealous, but I resent. I resent a 9 year old and I’m coming out and saying it.

For the past 2 seasons, I’ve watched on Grey’s Anatomy Meredith’s relationship with her little sister. It’s the exact same situation as mine. We see little glances of hope that Meredith might actually accept Lexi, and we all have sortof grown to love this quirky character Lexi has, but then Meredith backs away and her guard against her little sister just doesn’t budge. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to accept this little girl who had my dad as her daddy. I know it’s not her fault, but I just can’t help the way I feel.

Family History

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I believe that family history is so important. It’s so important for your kids to know where they came from. I believe that we as parents have a responsibility to provide our children with records of their child hood. I have come up with the solution on this. First off, let me just say that I LOVE to scrapbook. However, with working and kids and life, I just don’t have the time to be ON IT. So, while I will still do scrapbooks at some point I’ve come up with a new plan.

Every year I will be taking all of my blog entries for the year and putting them into a hard cover book. Blurb has a program that is awesome and will help me with this. Every year there will be a book for my family. It will have all the pictures, all the stories, EVERYTHING on my blog. With videos I will take all the videos for the year and burn them into a movie. That DVD will be put in the back of my “blog book”. I can’t wait for this year to end so that I can make my first book.

And that is how I will be providing to my family our Garibay Family History.

For other Works for Me tip – visit Shannon’s Blog.