Holy Crazy Family Time!

For the past few weeks it’s been nothing but visiting, visiting and MORE visiting. I know I’m ignoring my blog, but I honestly have been so busy! As mentioned before we went to Sacramento for Easter. Then the day after we got back Gino’s family showed up and stayed for 6 days. 2 days after they left my Grandma showed up and is still here and then today Gino’s BFF Dave showed up. So in the midst of all this visiting my blog is getting ignored.

However! Here’s a few updates going on in our world:

Rylie May is home and doing wonderful! She’s so little and makes Ella look like a toddler. I still have no pictures, but will post some as soon as I take some.

Ella is pulling herself up onto any and everything and has even thought she could walk and fell on her face. Everyday I swear this little girl is growing more and more and not just physically, but smarter. She is one smart little cookie. The other day Gino and I were walking out the door and said “Be Back” and I swear she said in her little voice “Be Back”. I thought I heard it and didn’t say anything, and then Gino stops and turns around and then his aunt says, “OMG! Did you hear that?!?!” We continually tried and tried to get her to say it again, but of course nope.

Jayden just went back to school after being on spring break. It’s been a hard adjustment for us all, but we’re managing. One of his front teeth is loose. With every tooth he loses I feel more and more like my baby is growing up too fast. UGH – he’s almost 7!!! I cannot fathom the thought that Jayden will be 7 this year.

Gino’s new schedule has actually been working out for us. I’ve grown to love it and now they’re ripping it from us. I HATE HOME DEPOT MORE THAN ANYTHING! Now he’ll be working the original shift he was supposed to get. 4am-1pm…. UGH! My poor husband will now be waking up at 3:15am – and poor me will have to drag Ella out in the morning to drop off Jayden at school. We’ll manage. We will manage.

I haven’t gone to curves in 2 weeks. 2 fricken weeks! I have to make a promise to myself that Monday morning at 10am I will back in there. Because not only am I not going to Curves, but I’m also not eating as healthy as I was before going to Sacramento.

I know I told how I’d have my Tips back this week, but with my Grandma here they completely slipped my mind! So, I’m not going to guarantee that they’ll be back on Tuesday, because we will probably be busy with fun tax stuff, but I will try my hardest!

Last, but not least – I’ve started back up My Book of Mormon Journey. Head over to my other blog and join me in reading the Book of Mormon. I’m only 5 chapters into it, which will take you no time at all. Even if you’re not LDS, what would it hurt to read about it?? I post links to the chapters so you can read online. And I would love all comments over there with your opinions, feeling and things that will not only help me see things the way you do, but help strengthen my testimony as well as yours. I love hearing other’s testimonies, because I believe that mine grows stronger.

Our Trip/Easter in Pictures


We drove into Sacramento at around 6:30pm. My mom, Sean, Jenna, My sister Jess, Gio & My nephew Vani came to visit us. It was the first time that my sister got to meet Ella. Of course, she loved her! And it was my first time meeting Jenna! It also was the first time that Jenna met my mom, which would be her biological aunt. It was a great time visiting with everyone.

Saturday morning we woke up and drove to Stockton so that Gino’s mom and brother, Gabriel, could meet Ella. Gino’s mom, Alice, was excited to finally meet her first girl. She has 3 sons and 1 grandson, Jayden.


Saturday night we went out to dinner with Gino’s friends Dave, Justin & Rob. We haven’t seen them since we moved in 2007.


Sunday after church we went on a picnic by the river and ate some delicious food! The above are pictures from the day. Ella LOVED being outside. Vani (my nephew) followed Jayden everywhere he went. It was really cute. Seeing everyone was so nice. But I was happy to come home. I realize that when we’re in the city our days fly by us. When we’re home it seems like they last forever. Maybe that’s because we don’t spend half of our lives in the car. I love my family, but I really love living in such a slow paced life. I hope that everyone had as happy of an Easter as we did. This is the first year in a long time that we actually celebrated Easter for what it really is. It felt wonderful to go to church, especially with Jenna and her beautiful family.

And if you want to see the pictures I’ve posted bigger just click on them ;0)

Meeting Jenna Lee

I got to meet Jenna Lee this weekend. Jenna Lee was born 12/7/87 to my aunt Rayna. My aunt was only 16 years old. She knew in her heart that she could not give Jenna the life that Jenna deserved. So she made the most amazing decision to give Jenna up to a family who could give her the life she deserved.

I had the privilege of meeting not only Jenna, but her entire family. The family that raised her into the wonderful girl she is today. When I hugged her mom I was filled with so much emotion, because I think she’s an amazing person to give Jenna the life she did. Gino, the kids and I went to church with them on Easter Sunday and got to watch Jenna give a talk on the resurrection. It was emotional. It was amazing. She has an AMAZING testimony of this church and I only hope that one day I can have one as strong as hers.

Tackled! Oh and we’re coming to Sac!

I’ve tackled the 2 major things I’ve been putting off today and IT FEELS SO GOOD!!!!!!!! We’re packing our family into the car tomorrow and heading down I5 back to our home land. We’re going to see our family. In order to do this, however, I needed to finally head to the DMV and get my car registered, because my temporary pass has been expired since 2/26/08. I finally got my Oregon plates after living here for almost a year. I majored in procrastination if you didn’t already know. The other task I tackled was going to the fire department and getting Ella’s car seat correctly installed. After I saw what it looked like correctly installed I was furious with myself, because for the past 7 months I was putting her precious life in danger. There’s no way she would have been okay in an accident. Now, she’s safe. Jayden’s safe. We’re all safe. We have brand new tires (not done today) and fresh oil and we’re good to go!

I have been panicking about this trip a little. I can’t wait to see our friends and family, but I’m so scared to travel with my kids. Especially with Ella’s heart problem. We’ve been in the clear since the end of October, but what IF something was to happen. Scares the crap out of me. I hate to travel so far from her doctors. It’ll be okay though. Prayers and positivity will get us through this.

My sister hasn’t met Ella yet. I’m so excited for Ella to meet her auntie FINALLY and for my sister to meet her niece. And I can’t wait to get all the babies together for a picture. Jayden is included in “babies”.

The next exciting thing about my trip is my cousin Jenna. My aunt Rayna gave her up for adoption when she was a baby to a wonderful family and I’M FINALLY GETTING TO SEE HER!!!! She’s giving a talk at church on Sunday and Gino, the kids and I are going with her and her family. It’s going to be amazing!!!!!!

Keep us in your prayers please that we have a safe and enjoyable trip. I’ll posts lots of pictures when I get home on Sunday (we’re coming home after we eat on Easter). And I hope that everyone has a VERY HAPPY EASTER!!

Rylie May was born today

I woke up this morning expecting to be able to watch the birth of my new baby cousin. I went curves, came home and took a shower, got the kids ready and packed our day bag for a day of hospital. I got there and everyone was in the waiting room. The kids and I spent some time in with Jill and her labor was going smoothly and she was numb!

I walked out of her room and not much longer there was a rush of nurses. My aunt Amy was in the hallway crying and I learned out that Rylie May’s heart was dropping. It actually even stopped. I couldn’t believe what was going on. The doctor that delivered Ella was Jill’s doctor and I could see the panic in her eyes as she was running. They wheeled Jill out and everything happened so fast.

They did an emergency C-Section and Rylie May was in this world for an entire 4 minutes without taking a breath. Jill spent hours in recovery and Rylie was in the NICU with breathing tubes. This day that was supposed to be an exciting, joyful day turned out to be every mom’s worst nightmare.

I think one of the saddest parts of today was watching my Aunt Amy (Jill’s mom) sit there feeling so helpless. She just wanted to be with her daughter and she couldn’t. I can’t even begin to imagine how that would feel.

I finally got to see Jill at 6:30pm. She was in good spirits. I had already seen Rylie in the NICU and I felt horrible that I had seen her before Jill had. Jill told me how she actually felt the surgery and they ended up putting her to sleep. As I left the hospital I saw the doctor in the hallway and she told me that they had just removed the ventilators off of Rylie. She’s breathing on her own!!

I know I’m reaching out for many prayers right now, but please pray for this precious new soul in this world who has had such a horrible start. I will post pictures once I get some.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYLIE MAY

This Man is Miraculous

While Norm really is in his final days he has bounced back yet once again. Today is his 85th birthday. I called him this morning to wish him a happy birthday and he was in good spirits joking around. He’s going to be released from the hospital and it was intended for him to go to a care center as he just continues in his stubborn state of mind that he can walk by himself and falls and hurts himself. Instead of going to the care center he will be going to stay in a motel room of his at his casino. That way he will be taken care of by his staff and won’t have to deal with being in a home. That’s the update on Norm. It’s an amazing thing. I won’t be shocked if he lives to be 100.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NORM

Norm

20 years ago a man came into my life that has forever changed who I am. A man that took my family on as his own. Loved us as his own. He has always been a workaholic. It didn’t matter if there was a blizzard outside, or if it were Christmas or he could barely stand up due to being horribly sick. He was out there digging ditches for new sprinkler system that he was going to install, because he had an idea. Or changing the light bulb down at the casino because “Damnit, nobody can do it right like I can!” Those are his words 🙂 His ideas built him a dynasty you could say. The stories I’ve heard are amazing. He actually raised chickens for the government during WWII and that way he didn’t have to go away in the draft. He knew of a city of gold. I hear it’s still there and wonder what came of it. He never biologically had one child. Yet, he fathered many. He took care and loved us all like we were his own and he has grown a special place in each of our hearts. He is a father, a grandfather, a teacher and idol of mine.

For as long as I can remember he has had leukemia. It’s never stopped him, never held him back just pushed him to fight harder. He is a miracle soul and teaches and touches every soul he comes in contact with. Now, he might not be nice while teaching, but you’ll definitely learn something after having a conversation with him.

How he has lived through such deteriorating health is beyond any of us. I personally believe that it’s the green barley drink that he drinks every single day of his life and God seeing that he does so much good for people in this world…. why would he want to take somebody like that away?

When I was young I remember when my uncle was graduating and we made a comment of how it would be amazing if Papa Norm was still alive to see me graduate. You know what? He did one better I had the honor of him walking me down the aisle on my wedding day and giving me away to the man I love.

Right now he is laying in a hospital with pneumonia and not doing well at all. We’ve all seen him on his death bed many times to learn the next day that he was completely fine and going home. This time it doesn’t look like he’ll be going home after all.

I’m asking if you pray if you’ll please take a moment and say a prayer for him. Please pray that he overcomes his sickness and if it’s his time to go then it’s his time to go and to please have God take him peacefully.

Never got to say hello – and never said goodbye

Today I feel like sharing a story about our baby that never got to say hello or goodbye. It all started on May 23, 2006. I took a pregnancy test at work and saw 2 lines. I was so happy! My sister was 1 month pregnant and it was so exciting that we were going to be pregnant together. Our babies were going to be best friends. Our due dates were 2 weeks apart and we always joked that we would deliver on the same day. Feeling this baby move inside of me was amazing. With every kick and every flutter I grew more and more attached and my love for this baby kept getting stronger and stronger. Jayden, being an only child for 4 1/2 years was so excited to finally have a sibling. I heard her heart beat and it was strong and it was amazing. I even recorded it w/my phone since Gino couldn’t make it to the appointment.

September 5, 2006 I went in for my regular scheduled prenatal appointment. Keep in mind that the night before as I lay on my bed watching Prison Break I could feel this baby moving all around. September 5, 2006 was a Tuesday. I had an appointment that Friday w/the Ultrasound techs to find out what my baby was and of course to make sure she was growing strong. On this Tuesday I was wearing my green tank top babydoll type maternity shirt from The Gap. I’ll never forget it for some reason. I lay there on the table and the doctor was searching for the baby’s heartbeat. He said, “I think I hear movement in there, but I just can’t catch a heart beat. How about we go over and do a quick ultrasound to check everything.” He left the room and I was so excited! I called my mom and Gino and told them both that I was going to ultrasound and I’d call them as soon as I know the sex. The thought of my baby being dead never crossed my mind. I finally get in and am laying on the table staring up at the screen anxious to see my baby. However, my baby wasn’t moving at all. I looked at the doctor and he actually had tears in his eyes. My heart dropped. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I called my husband and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. I had never felt such pain in my life. We had an appointment with RAS, which does high tech ultrasounds to confirm the demise. Demise. What a horrible, ugly word. That’s what the referral paper said on it. Before I left my doctor’s appointment I was told that I have options. I can either have my labor induced or I can be put to sleep and they’d basically going in like a D&C and take my baby out that way. I couldn’t wrap my thoughts around either option.

I came home and my mom had pulled up to my house the same time I did and she just hugged me and we cried. I walked into my house and my husband had made tacos. It was the most awkward, horrible night. We still clung on to some hope that our baby was okay. That the ultrasound machine was just old and crappy and it was wrong. The next morning we woke up and went to our appointment. A really good friend of mine worked there and was staying optimistic, saying that there’s still a chance. As I layed there getting the ultrasound she was in the room, and she walked out with tears in her eyes. At that moment, I knew. My world was shattered. My baby was gone. How could this happen to me? To us? Why would God take my baby away from me.

I made my decision to be put to sleep and have my baby taken out that way. I didn’t want to go through the emotional effects on giving birth to a baby that had no life to it. I didn’t go in until Friday, September 8, 2006. I had to have my baby inside of me all that time from Tuesday-Friday dead. I showed up to where the doctors told me to go, which was right across the street from the hospital. It was the abortion clinic. I walked in and was so disgusted. While I was there wishing with all of my heart that I had my baby, there were girls there killing theirs. While I believe to each their own, I am not for abortion. I hated myself for the decision I had made. I hated that my baby was just going to be thrown away like all of these other babies. When I walked in the nurses took me straight to the back to sit with another nurse. I was a “special case” and was to be kept away from the others who were there willingly. My husband could not stay with me. I decided that I needed to get ahold of a funeral home to come and pick up my baby. I was not about to throw her away. So, I felt a little more peace with that decision. We named Mya Marie and had her cremated. I have a heart urn necklace that I wear close to my heart with some of her ashes in it.

It took me a while to face my sister. I loved her and I was truly happy for her, but I hated that she had her baby and I didn’t have mine. She was still pregnant and I wasn’t. She went on to give birth January 26, 2007 to a healthy, beautiful baby boy who is my favorite nephew.

It’s been 1 year 6 months 1 day since we lost our baby girl and Jayden still talks about his sister Mya. He still prays to Heavenly Father and asks him to watch over her and make sure she doesn’t fall on the clouds. She is a strong part of our family and I love her as much as I love my other 2 living babies.

I’ve learned a strong lesson through the loss of a baby. I was blessed 3 months later with a positive pregnancy test. August 14, 2007 I was blessed with a beautiful baby girl. We named her Ella Marie – Marie is after her big sister that she’ll meet someday in heaven. The lesson that I’ve learned is that sometimes we don’t understand why God does the things he does. We’re not supposed to understand. If I didn’t lose Mya, I wouldn’t have Ella. It makes me happy to know that when I am called to come home to heaven that I will have a precious soul waiting for me. I will finally get to say hello and will never have to say goodbye.

A Little Bit of Ella – A Little Bit of Jayden

Ella has decided to say forget crawling and has resorted to rolling to whatever location she wants to go. It takes her a few minutes, but she gets there. This sorta started last night, but went full blown today. Sadly, she also rolled into a tall candle stick thingy of mine and that fell on her head… so she has her first bump. I really have to get to baby proofing now and that sucks. She is still trying to crawl and is almost there, but she’s loving this new rolling game.

We went up to my Grandma’s house today to work on a quilt that I’m making and I took a couple pics of the kids. I really wanted to take more, but Ella just wasn’t into it…maybe she’ll be more into it on Thursday when I go back. ALSO!!! Jayden drew my cousin a picture and wrote To: (Then asked me how to spell Jill) From: Jayden all by himself!!!!! He didn’t even ask me how to spell To & From ~ I couldn’t be prouder of my little man.

A Quirk About Family

I have a weird quirk about me with calling someone your sister, cousin, dad, brother…whatever, basically, relative if they’re really not one. For instance. My friends are never “Aunt whoever” They are simply known to my children (well my son since Ella is still very young) as whatever their name is. I cringe inside when I hear somebody refer to someone as their “cousin” if they’re really not cousins. My husband has done this and no longer does, because I cannot stand it. I can’t even call my in-laws mom and dad, because they are not my mom and dad. This is one of my biggest pet peeves. I think even my husband is catching on to this, because the other day he was telling me how irritating it is to go to his cousin’s myspace and see her label some of her “friends” as cousins. FINALLY! He understands where my crazy brain is coming from in some way.

Are you ready for my quirk to get even weirder? I have 4 sisters and 1 brother. Jessica is my sister through my mom. She is my best friend, the one I fight with, the one I call and cry to, the one I have a million inside jokes with, the one who knows every little secret of mine LITERALLY, she’s my sister. Mitch is my brother through my mom. He’s the one that even after screwing me over time and time again, flaking on me, doing the worst things possible like every little brother does, I still love him. He’s still my baby brother. Even though they are my half, they feel like they are full siblings to me. Brittany, Alyssa & Tiona are through my dad. I didn’t grow up with them. I am just now starting to be in their lives. They ARE my sisters, yet I feel odd calling them my sisters. I get that feeling that I was explaining above. Maybe it will just take time to get used to the fact that I actually do have other sisters than Jessica. At first I kinda freaked out a little bit, because none of them are Jessica and I didn’t like the fact that they looked up to me as a “big sister” when in fact I didn’t feel like I was their big sister at all. I am now faced with living away from the only brother and sister I ever knew and living by 2 of my dad’s girls. I hope that in time I can become close to them. I have a more of a chance of having a good relationship with Alyssa, since she is 15. Tiona, however, is only 9. She’s 2 1/2 years older than my son. He’ll probably know her a lot better than I ever will. Brittany lives far away. I talk to her occasionally through text or myspace, and sadly, we’ll probably never have a close relationship. I have such a twisted family, and I’m working on appreciating everybody in it. Close or not, I should work on having a relationship with everybody in it…. in some way or another. Right?