Category Archives: Family

Tonight My Heart is Heavy

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Life is short. Boy is it ever so short. I talked on my blog a while back about my problems with my IUD and how I was going through hormone testing and the Nurse Practitioner that I was seeing was WONDERFUL. She was so nice, layed back, took the time to hear you out. I loved her! I just found out that in April she fell and slipped into a coma… and she never came out of it.  Just like that, a wonderful person gone from this world.  





Today is a little girl that will just melt your heart’s 2nd birthday.  However, she’s not here to celebrate it.  I’ve seen her pictures all over people’s blog and waited until today to finally head over to her mom’s blog and get to know sweet Maddie.  Oh my goodness….. I sat here tonight reading her mom’s letter to her today and cried and cried and hugged my babies.  One day she was here, the next day she was gone.  Life is so short.  And Maddie’s story really makes you stop, think and appreciate every moment that you are given with your babies.


To read all about Maddie… go {HERE} for her mama’s blog or {HERE} for her Daddy’s blog.  I waited a really, really long time to suck it up and cry with them… but I’m so happy I did.  I hope you too will go and become a friend of Maddie… she’ll melt your heart.

I have been so close to losing Ella, that stories like these crush me.  I’ve been there…. I’ve actually sat there hearing them call codes on my little girl.  At one point I thought she was gone… I know what it’s like to drop to your knees and pray that your baby won’t die…. and I’m so fortunate to still have her here.  I can’t imagine what not only Heather & Mike (Maddie’s Mama & Daddy) but all of the parents in this world that have had to suffer the heart wrenching loss of a child have had to go through… and still go through every, single day.

My heavy heart can go on and on.  I feel like I’m mourning a sister.  I haven’t unleashed the drama that’s been going on, but I’ve decided to break my silence and talk about how I feel.  My sister has turned into somebody that I do not like.  Somebody who talks disgustingly and someone that I am ashamed to say is my sister.  My sister wouldn’t act the way she’s been acting.  But in the end I think I’ve learned something that I’ve always known.  You turn into who you hang around.  So, it’s so vital that you choose to hang around people that inspire you, challenge you to grow, and have virtue, values & morals.  Because if you choose to hang out with anything less, unfortunately you will be less.  I am in mourning, because things that have been said can’t be taken back.  I have been challenging myself to personal growth, and during personal growth you need to ensure that you are not surrounded by people who hold you back, live negatively and have no virtue, values or morals, because the last thing you want to do is turn into them.  

Life is short though, and I’m sad to say that I’ve had to accept the fact that my sister and my brother are both individuals that will always be stuck in their rut.  Living a life that is not something to be proud of, and until they accept this and learn and grow from this they’ll never change.  They will continue to always be hustling their way through life.  A life without honesty, a life without morals…. it’s so unfortunate.  But I have to remember that in order for me to continue with my personal growth I have to stay away from them.  I have to look at the negativity they hold, the hate they hold, the evil they hold in them and pray for them.  My brother is not someone that has ever had good in him.  I’ve been through it all with him, and honestly feel quite secure in not being in his life.  Anybody who can walk away from their own flesh & blood child and deny them is evil.  My sister, however, I’ve always loved her.  It’s unfortunate what’s happened, but I’m okay with it now.  Yes, Jessica, I do check your myspace status, because I want to see how my niece and nephew are doing.  The things you put on there lets the ghetto and trash in you shine on.  I wish we could mend this crap we’re going through, but I’ve realized since it’s started that you are not a person that I want in my world… and fortunately I get to choose who’s in my world.  I choose class, virtue, morals, and people striving to better themselves, which are things you don’t hold.  I hope one day you learn how to.

My heart is heavy, but at the end of the day I have a wonderful husband that makes me happier than I ever thought possible.  A son that never fails to put a smile on my face and warm my heart and a daughter that is and always will be  my rainbow after the storm.  My heart is heavy, but I love every thing I have in my life.  I feel fortunate to have the blessings that continue to pour down on my family.  I will continue to keep my prayers with those in this world that truly need it….. and I will continue to send my balloons to the people in heaven like Mya, my precious daughter who will always have a huge piece of my heart with her, Maddie, who has touched a world of people with her beautiful eyes and smile, and Karen… my nurse who woke up one day and didn’t know it was going to be her last.
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Friday Favorites #1 ~ Aloha Friday Family Activites?

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I have one carnival going on, and sometimes people link up, and sometimes they don’t. That’s okay with me… it’s okay, because I started the carnival to guarantee my readers that once a week I will post something inspiring… and hopefully it will motivate their Mondays. Now, I’m starting up another. Do I hope to see people link up? ABSOLUTEY… but even if I don’t link ups, Friday Favorites will still be here.  If you want to skip all this Friday Favorites stuff and head straight over to the Aloha Friday question please scroll down 🙂


I love to do Friday Favorites, and I just usually ramble away with them. I thought about maybe structurizing it a bit this week and adding a linkup – you are more than welcome to link up your Friday Favorites.


Since I’m structurizing I figured I’d go ahead and add some topics below… the names are my kids’ names, you can do whatever subjects that you wish…. but these are the subjects I’m mainly going to stick with.  I may add some other weeks, but these are my main ones!

Accomplishments:  This week I accomplished my huge laundry pile… that by far is my favorite accomplishment.  I know, boring but a favorite of mine!  

Jayden: I overheard Jayden tell his friend not to say God, and to say Gosh instead. For the first time since starting Kindergarten Jayden has found a “real” friend that he really connects with. I see major differences and similarities between the two. I hope that Jayden continues to be the good example that he is. I can’t even express how proud I am of him.

Ella: Oh boy, this girl is TOO MUCH! She started swim lessons this week and we have had so much fun doing them!!  My favorite thing of this week is that she showed that she has a huge heart and loves to see the excitement of others.  I noticed this today at her swim lesson where she wasn’t throwing a fit when other’s were getting turns… instead she just showed excitement.

Marriage: I know that marriage is one of the hardest things, but I am a strong believer in fighting through it all. I feel fortunate that we are both at a very good point in our marriage. My favorite thing about this week to do with my marriage is that I personally am trying to do things to make my husband happy without expectations back.

Favorite Blog of the Week: Definitely 110% my fav new blog for this week is {A Place to Bloom}. It is definitely a place where you can bloom as a mother and wife. One of the writers of the blog is a dear friend of mine and I absolutely love what they are doing.

Favorite Blog Post of the Week (not my own): Believe it or not it’s also from A Place to Bloom. I found {this post} and instantly LOVED it. It’s about spending time together as a family and I believe it is a VERY important thing. This guest poster over at A Place to Bloom had this post very well written.

Photography:  Today, actually, I was referred to somebody to do their wedding.  I’m nervous, but figure I have to start somewhere right?  Another favorite is I finally printed my first 20×30 prints and they were of my beautiful children… I am absolutely in LOVE with the results.  I love walking into my home and seeing such huge displays of what I believe is the most beautiful thing on this planet.


Now for {Aloha Friday} 

What is your favorite thing to do as a family?  I’m talking simple, something that can be done on a weeknight type of a thing.


HERE’S THE LINKUP FOR YOU TO LINKUP YOUR FRIDAY FAVORITE’S POST

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2 Month Old Paxton

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A little glimpse at such a beautiful little soul. This little precious baby boy is my nephew and I enjoy taking pictures of him all of the time.  I thought I’d share a couple of him, and one of him and his mama and one with my Ella and him.  Today Paxton turned 2 months old and we took him out for a fun little photo shoot.

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The People Along Life’s Path

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We finally escaped from our house and got on the road late last night. By the time we arrived at our first hotel at 1am I thought I was going to die of exhaustion. Have you ever gotten to the point when driving late at night where you think, if I just close my eyes and wake up in a hospital bed, at least I’ll be sleeping…. I know, terrible but that’s how I felt. The kids and husband in the car with me are what kept my eyes pried open.

Today we arrived at our first destination. Miserable, loney Ely, Nevada. If you’ve ever been to Ely you know exactly what I’m talking about. Anytime that I come to this town I get this sick feeling in my gut and just want to turn the car around and not look back. It just has the icky feeling to it.

Today was different. Right when we pulled into town I pulled in front of a sports bar that my mom’s ex from when I was a little girl owns. Seeing him did something to me I think. He came out and got to meet my family and had a smile on his face that made my soul feel like it was smiling. I miss him. I miss him and my mom together. When they were together we were a family. I was happy.

I think on this trip this is going to happen a lot to me. I’m backtracking and going to places that are from my past and I’m going to see people and places from my past that will bring back memories and feelings… feelings I really didn’t realize I had in me.

How is it possible for people to come in and out of your life? There are so many moments that happen in our life, relationships that we form, and as we grow apart, move apart, lose contact we forget. We forget how much these people mean to us. I think it is dreadfully sad, and I want to make it a goal to stay in contact with the people that have meant something to me. Not just the current people in my life, but with everyone that has had an impact in my life.

I didn’t have the privilege of having a father growing up. My dad as I’ve talked about many time on this blog has never been my dad. But because of this I have had the privilege of having some wonderful father figures in my life. 1 of them met my children tonight. The other will be meeting them in Salt Lake next weekend. Dustin in Salt Lake was never a step-dad of mine, but he holds the place in my heart that a Dad holds in a girl. He is such a wonderful person and did so much to help me out through my teenage years, and I disappointed him. I just want him to know now and always that I appreciate him, and I am so happy that he has such a wonderful family ~ and I’m happy he continues to help troubled teens. I only hope that they realize what a wonderful guy they have there for them…. Dustin rocks and I CANNOT wait to see him next weekend and have him meet my husband, my children and to see that I didn’t turn out too bad.

I want to remember the people that have impacted my life. I want to make contact with them all and let them know how they helped to make me who I am today, because that’s what happens…. the people in our path of life help to make us who we are.

Welcoming Paxton – sharing the Easy Schedule

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Yesterday my nephew was born. He was 6lbs 15oz. and 19 inches long. Talk about 1 adorable, precious baby boy! His name is Paxton Richard ~ and here he is – isn’t he absolutely adorable?!?!?!?
So, my Works for Me Wednesday is a repeat, but I’m repeating for the new mom!

The EASY Schedule for your baby ~

I have done this with Jayden and Ella. I got the idea from Tracy Hogg’s book {The Baby Whisperer} My Grandma bought me this book when I was pregnant with Jayden and tried her tactics and THEY WORKED!! Here’s how the EASY Schedule works:

E stands for Eat
A stands for Activity Time
S stands for Sleep
Y stands for You Time

So, here’s why this schedule works WONDERS with me. Your baby wakes up from a nap and you instantly feed him/her. You do not let them fall asleep while eating. After they finish their bottle you give them activity time. For a newborn this can be a bath, staring into the wondrous world before them. Just time for them to be awake and not be sleeping. Then when they get fussy, guess what! They’re not hungry!!! You instantly know what the deal is. They’re tired. So you wrap them up, rock them and put them to sleep….then you get YOU TIME (time where you can sit and hear the peace, that is if you don’t have other children or the other children are in school!!) You can even schedule out what you’re going to do for each You Time!!! Ella’s at the age that during activity time she likes to get in her jumparoo and jump jump jump and that’s my internet time. My You Time is USUALLY spent working or doing my housework.

This schedule has not failed me through 2 kids now and I love it. I always know what’s next and so does Ella (she’s my current baby) I’m a WAHM and it’s nice to know that things are not out of control. It’s easy for us and I know that I can tell someone when I will be calling them back, because according to Ella’s schedule I know when she’s going to be tired.

OH! And w/this schedule, Jayden never relied on a bottle to fall asleep. Therefore, when he turned 1 – I threw all of his bottles away on her b/day and we had NO ISSUES!!! Straight to the sippy cup like a big boy!

And the exciting thing today – she’s sleeping right now, and when she wakes up she gets to eat baby food for the first time!!! Stay tuned for pictures!!!!

Hope this works for you like it’s worked for me!! I highly suggest reading her book 🙂

For other things that work for other’s head over to We Are THAT Family and enjoy yourself!

As for Brittany, the new mom of Paxton, I am buying you a copy of this book!!!! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. You did a wonderful job yesterday and I LOVE my nephew!!!!!

We are a RAIDERS family!

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I know, I know, we have a terrible team, but IMO it’s just that we have a terrible owner. I just found this picture while looking through my memory card and I had to put it on here. I love this picture of us! We went on Superbowl Sunday to a house FULL of Steelers fans, so we showed up all decked out in our Raiders gear and rooted for the opposite team…. unfortunately we all know how that ended.

A simple, fun Family Home Evening – Makes Me Happy

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Our lives lately have swirled into a little black hole where our normal lives don’t exist. It’s extremely frustrating when this happens, because we become accustomed to this new black hole.

I woke up today and said to myself – I AM SNAPPING OUT OF IT! I am going to get back into my housekeeping schedule, my work schedule, and Sunday I’m going to church. Well, since tonight was Monday I decided the first step in getting back to normal is to do {Family Home Evening}

Something we haven’t done in a while, and something that is much needed not only in our home, but everyone’s home. Please click on the link that the words Family Home Evening gave to read about it, or under my topics click on FHE.

Tonight’s Family Home Evening, since being the first in while, I made it extremely simple… and fun. I made {Rich Dark Chocolate Fudge Sauce} in my adorable {Wildtree Fondue Set} and we sat around the table dipping strawberries and took turns saying…. “so and so (somebody sitting at the table) makes me happy when….” and then we say what makes us happy.

Some of Jayden’s responses: “Ella makes me happy when she makes a big mess.” “Ella makes me happy when she screams” I’m starting to think he didn’t get it LOL… but he had some good ones in there too like, “Mama makes me happy when she hugs me.”

We had laughs, the chocolate dipped strawberries were delicious and there’s another Family Home Evening memory that will stick with my kids in their hearts. Another Family Home Evening that will keep us as a family strong.

My goal from here on out is to make sure that I do Family Home Evening every, single Monday – no matter how hectic the day has been. This is something my family needs, even if it’s 10 minutes of sharing a few laughs, without the TV and a delicious treat.

A peek into my heart…. on Father’s Day

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Unfortunately, Father’s Day was never an important day for me. I have a dad, but growing up I refused to refer to the man as that. I am now older and have tried to accept him as my father, but continuously don’t feel it in my heart.

My father was 16 when I was born. That pretty much sums it up right there. He was never there, went on to conceive 3 more daughters with 3 different women. Each one I’m sure has their sob story about the man, and I still cling to mine every, single day. I want a dad. I want a dad that cares enough to call me at least once a week and see how I’m doing. I want a dad that can put me first for once… not always focus on his youngest 2 daughters. I want a dad who cares enouch about being a grandpa that he asks how they’re doing, or wants to see them. I just want a dad.

I have a couple of memories that stab my heart, and I think it’s time I talk about them. The first Father’s Day that I spent with my father was in 2006. I was newly pregnant with Mya. We drove all the way up to where I now live just to spend Father’s Day with the man. In addition to him, it was also the first time I was going to meet his 2nd daughter.. dysfunctional, unstable Britney. I know, I have hate issues…. I told you Garibay Soup is the ingredients to a dysfunctional family…. which is EXACTLY what I have.

Anyways… continuing on. I had mentioned to my dad that he could play catch or baseball or fricking something with his grandson {Jayden} that he never sees and the man actaully had the nerve to say to me, “Well, I have Tiona too… it is Father’s Day.” Wow….. this man is a loser.

My dad married his 4th daughter’s mother who is a whopping 2 years 11 months older than me. SICK! At the wedding in the middle of the ceremony they had her come up and be a part of it and even gave her a ring…. I was his only other daughter at this wedding. I felt {AWKWARD}

His 2 youngest daughters are his everything, I am nothing. For this reason alone I have not care for Father’s Day all that much. The 2 situations above are just a couple of things that have stabbed my heart…. there are many, many more, and I need to learn how to let go and be grateful that my children will never have to feel the way I have felt.

My children have a father who loves this both so much and distributes it between the two equally. They will never, ever have to feel the feelings I have felt growing up, because their dad would do anything in this world for them. I am proud to say that this man is my husband.

{Gino}, I know I tell you a lot, but I’m going to say it again……. you are a wonderful dad. You have made choices and changes that they will someday be so thanful and proud for. I just want to thank you for being a dad to my children, I couldn’t have picked a better guy. You make their eyes light up, you put smiles on their faces, and it all makes my heart melt.