Category Archives: Heart Matters

Happy Monday

Posted on by
2

Happy Monday. I have a lot of blogging to catch up on. You’d be surprised that I actually have a list of things I need to post about. I’m so overwhelmed right now. I have a huge list of things to do for work, and that has to get done TODAY! So, why in the heck am I on here babbling? Well, I had to get a few things off of my chest.

Jayden is starting 1st grade in a week. In a flipping week my baby will be in 1st grade!!!!!!! I’m happy for him that he’ll be back in the routine things of life and he won’t be bored with me. Sadly, his girlfriend is not in his class this year. His response to this was, “Ah, bummer!” Poor guy.

Ella has a molar that broke through. It’s all the way in the back on her upper right. I think that explains the couple nights of tossing, turning and SCREAMING! She’s growing up so fast, and she just gets cuter and cuter every single day! The way she runs is just adorable, and I especially think it’s cute when I come home from being somewhere and she runs to me, grabs on to my legs and hugs. She is such a sweet soul.

Ella has a cardiologist appointment tomorrow. She got a blessing last night from the missionaries, and I just pray that her WPW has corrected itself miraculously. I don’t want this sweet baby girl to have to have a surgery done. We’ve been lucky enough to stay out of the hospitals for 10 months! That’s an answered prayer if you ask me. She’s been nothing but healthy, happy and I hope for a continued future in this manner.

Things with Mitch are going the same. I don’t know if he got that job yet or not, I’m crossing my fingers and praying. It’s hard having another person living in my home. I try to keep my head up, but it’s difficult. The thing that bothers me is he’s here to better his life and yet his long term plan is to move back to Sacramento, because he’s going to be 21. Makes me not want to help him. He’s got a kid now, and he should be thinking about family stuff and not partying. It’s time to grow up. You don’t get to party and have fun when you have kids to raise, because if that’s the choice you make, then your kids will grow up knowing only that and how sad they’ll turn out to be.

I’m on day 9 of no coffee. I never thought I’d be able to do this.

Ella’s Heart Story

Posted on by
12

I’m back! I’m putting my blogging once again before my marriage, my family, eating ~ yes and even sleeping!!!! Okay… maybe not that extreme, but I do apologize for my absence. Of course I missed all my other carnivals I participate in this week AGAIN, but you know I couldn’t miss out on Fro’ Me to You!! Make sure you head over there and check out Kristen’s great blog.

I thought today I would share a couple pictures of Ella at 7 weeks old, and tell the dreadful story of the day she almost died. The day our world went spinning out of control, and the day we realized how strong God can make you in the times you need to be strong.

Ella was only 7 weeks old. It was October 4, 2007 and she wasn’t keeping her food down. I thought she had a stomach bug and decided that it might be wise to take her in just to have the doctor look at her. The decision I made was weird, I never took Jayden to the doctor’s for the flu, but I had this burning thing inside of me saying SOMETHING ISN’T RIGHT. I think the thing that bothered me the most was that she didn’t have a fever. I wanted so badly for her to have a fever, because that meant that yes, it was just a bad case of the flu.

The doctor looked her over agreed with me that it must be the stomach bug and to only give her pedialyte. All night long Gino and I took turns holding her – she didn’t want to be set down and it was a hard, hard night.

Fast forward to Friday, October 5, 2007. The phone rings and it was her doctor’s nurse asking how she was doing and said that they would like to see her since it was Friday just to check up on her. I honestly did not feel like driving there, and she was starting to keep her pedialyte down, but I went. When Wendy, her nurse, came in she was putting the oxygen level checker on her toe trying to get her levels – she couldn’t. She had someone else come in while she went to find the doctor, she wasn’t telling me at the time that Ella’s chest was retracting and there was a serious problem…. I guess she didn’t want me to freak while she went to get Ella’s doctor. Dr. Mills walked in and from the look on his face I knew that something was very, very wrong. I started spinning and feeling like I was going to black out. I just remember them taking Ella and running across the street with her to the hospital.

At the hospital they were trying everything they could to get an IV in her, but the couldn’t – her veins collapsed. Her heart rate wasn’t even registering on the monitors, and when it would I’d see numbers like 280, 300 and then nothing just plus signs. I felt alone, scared and just wanted my baby to stop crying and I wanted to know what in the world was wrong with her.

Gino finally arrived and shortly after they had the crash cart in and they were restarting Ella’s heart – it worked. However, the damage had already been done. Her liver was enlarged, her organs were about to start shutting down, she needed a blood transfusion, and they wanted her intubated.

It was decided that Ella had Wolf-Parkinson-White syndrome and they wanted her in Portland where the specialists were. They had a team fly down from Portland to pick her up. It was a process, because she was intubated and they wanted an extra set of hands that could help, so my seat was taken. My baby went into the air without me. It was 11:00pm on Friday night and we had to leave our son behind and drive blindly into the night. We had a 4 hour trip ahead of us and didn’t know if our daughter was dead, or alive.

The team called when they landed and informed us that all went well and they were getting into the ambulance to transport her to the Children’s Hospital. Huge, huge, huge sigh of relief. We finally got there and went to her room and layed down. It was about 6am when they do shift change and the new nurse walked in and said, “This one here is awake.” Gino and I jumped up so quick and ran over to her. She actually looked at us and had these eyes like she wanted to tell us about all of the horrible things that she had been through. This picture is me looking at her right after they took out the tubes.

We ended up staying there for a few days then taking her home. She continued to go in and out of SVT (fast heart rate) all throughout the month of October. Luckily I started to know the signs and could tell when listening to her heart. So, if caught in time it was easy to stop by suffocating her with a bag of ice, which I personally couldn’t do. We had to take her in to her doctor’s to have it done. Once we realized that her medicine wasn’t working we went back to Portland to have her watched closely in the ICU while they tested another medicine that could cause heart failure, but it worked!! When she’s around 6 they’re going to do a catheter ablation and close the extra pathway that’s in her heart.

Her doctor was telling us that if we didn’t take her in to the doctor’s she would have stopped breathing. Her organs were already shutting down and we would have lost our precious, beautiful Ella. I couldn’t even fathom the thought. Heavenly Father kept us so strong throughout this, and I’m thankful every day for the blessings he has given us. I’m thankful that everyday I have this beautiful little girl to smile at me.
To follow Ella’s story as it unfolds her website is HERE

Quick Update

Posted on by
1

It sure has been a while. My friend, Jenise, came up from Sacramento to visit for a few days. It was the first time that she got to meet Miss Ella!! She helped out so much and I’m thankful for every ounce help she gave. She did lots and lots of laundry for me – my most hated thing ever.

I’m still having issues with my breathing, heart, anxiety… whatever it is that’s going on with me. Yesterday I went in for an echo and the results should be in next week. They looking to see if one of the little flap things stick, which can make me feel like how I’ve been feeling. It’s frustrating to feel this way. I don’t like feeling like I can’t breathe. I don’t like feeling on edge.

This weekend I’m planning on taking the kids to get their pictures done. We might even do a family picture – I haven’t really decided yet. Ella hasn’t had professional pictures done yet and I feel absolutely HORRIBLE about it. They’ll be cute and that’s all that matters.

That’s just a quick little update on me here.

I went to the doctors

Posted on by
3

I decided shortly after posting my last post about my anxiety that I needed to call my doctor’s office. So I called, made an appointment and they had me in at 1pm today. The did an EKG and I got to see that I do not have a delta wave, therefore I do not have what Ella has…. RELIEF! However, they did labs on me today to see if I might possibly have a thyroid problem. In the meantime, while I await the results of the blood tests, I was prescribed Xanax. I took one probably around 3pm and w/in 20 minutes I was feeling 100% better. It’s now 11:22pm and I’m starting to feel the heaviness around my heart. This is so frustrating! I think the only solution is me going to Mexico for a week – maybe 2 weeks. I’m really anxious (surprise surprise LOL) to find out what my blood are results are going to be tomorrow.

A New Car! With some anxiety

Posted on by
Reply

It’s almost been a week since my last entry here. We’ve had a busy past few days and I actually have put the computer away for a while and only came on to quickly check my email. I must say… it felt good! Thursday we bought a second car. FINALLY! We actually have been getting by with one car for a long time now, and it’s nice to finally have 2. Neither of us will feel stuck if the other is gone. This decision of course had to be made since Gino is going to have to now be to work @ 4am and Jayden has to be to school by 7:50am. So, we got a 2004 Jetta w/only 26k miles on it. It’s a stick and I’m in love with it. It is, however, Gino’s car. That thing isn’t big enough for both of the kids…. but when I’m going somewhere by myself you bet your butt I drive that thing. I LOVE STICK SHIFT CARS!

I’ve developed a horrible case of anxiety these past few days. Almost to the point that it’s scary. I get shortness in breath to where I can’t take a deep breath. My heart feels like it’s pounding and I just downright feel helpless. There have been many times in my life where I’d say “I have horrible anxiety.” What was I thinking?? What I used to *think* was anxiety is nothing compared to what this feels like. The first thing that ran through my mind when I first felt this was ‘OMG, I have what Ella has‘ I seriously thought I was about to have a heart attack. We were at Target, so we went over by the pharmacy where the blood pressure checker thing is and it said that my pulse was @ 103. Not terribly high, but it is high. I don’t know what my deal is, but I don’t like it. I might make an appointment to see a doctor, but from my understanding there really isn’t much a doctor can do for you beside prescribe medication that I in turn might become dependent on. So, today I’m thinking about maybe finding a yoga class to join and see how that works for me. I just know that I do not like feeling like this.

Cardiologist Appointment

Posted on by
2

Ella’s cardiologist (well, not hers but one that works w/hers) flew down from Portland to check her out today. She’s gained almost 5lbs since her last visit in Portland 3 months ago. So they only thing that was done was her medication was upped to 1ML instead of .8ML and told me see you in 6 months unless something comes up. We are going to schedule our next appointment w/her EP Cardiologist so we talk about what to expect w/ablation. They did do an EKG and we can definitely see on it that she has Wolf-Parkinson-White Syndrome.

So, uneventful, but it was good.

3 Months Free

Posted on by
Reply


I am so pleased to announce that Ella has gone 3 whole months since having to be rushed off to the hospital. My Cardiac Baby has had not one issue with her heart since 10/23/2007. I actually feel safe leaving the valley and traveling places. For a while there I actually thought I’d never leave here ever again – I didn’t want to travel to far away from her doctor. Now that I feel confidant I just might be taking a trip to Sacramento soon to see all of our family and friends.

I was reading on Kimi’s blog about her daughter Faith and how they lost her due to her heart condition. As I was reading about her story it really hit so close to home. I had mentioned on her blog how it’s amazing how God will come in during the hardest times in your life and he literally will carry you through it. The Footprints poem has so much meaning to me now. Through losing my baby, Mya, and then to go through almost losing Ella I just am amazed at how God carried me through it all and kept me strong.

I am so thankful for the many blessings that I have in my life. I continue to pray that Ella’s heart will correct itself somehow and she won’t require surgery. I pray that every mom out there who has lost a baby or child of theirs finds their strength to go on through God.

Footprints

One night I had a dream–
I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord
and across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints,
one belonged to me and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that many times along the path of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest
and saddest times in my life.
This really bothered me and I questioned the Lord about it.
“Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you would walk with me all the way,
but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life
there is only one set of footprints.
“I don’t understand why in times when I needed you most,
you should leave me.”
The Lord replied, “My precious, precious child,
I love you and I would never, never leave you
during your times of trial and suffering.
“When you saw only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you.”

…Mary Stevenson

My Cardiac Baby

Posted on by
1

Every night I lay down and I look at Ella and rub her cheek and I thank God that she is still with me. Every time I think of what happened to her my stomach just flips upside down. Today I felt so bad, because she had to get shots. She was so happy and just cooing at the nurse and then she stuck her and Ella screamed her head off. And of course I’ve spent the majority of today listening to her heart over and over again. We’ve almost gone 3 months w/out Ella having to be rushed off to the hospital and I couldn’t be more thankful for all of the prayers that have gone Ella’s way.

The thought that runs through my mind the most is what made Ella’s doctor want to see her the day after I had brought her in? I have never had a doctor do that. I’ve brought Jayden to the doctors when he was sick and after the doctor checked him over they didn’t call me the next day and say “We just want to check him out since it’s Friday and the weekend’s coming up.” When Ella’s doctor’s office called and said this I almost hesitated to be honest, but thought might as well, she’s still sick. Little did I know that my daughter’s organs were starting to shut down. Little did I know that her heart rate was at 280. Little did I know that in a couple more hours I’d be holding a baby that stopped breathing. Little did I know that my whole world was going to be flipped upside down and forever changed at that moment. Little did I know that I would learn just how much I loved this little girl. I thought she was going to die. To see her laying there lifeless was a feeling I can’t even describe. To have tubes breathing for her was the most horrible sight I’ve ever seen in my life. To have to drive 4 long hours in the middle of the night to Portland while she was being mediflighted there. Not knowing if she made it. Yet, getting that phone call and having the best sigh of relief I’ve ever had – the plane has landed and they’re on their way to the hospital.

One thing that always sticks out in my mind is that next morning – 7am shift change. We’d barely had any sleep since we had arrived there at 4am. But I heard the nurse walk in to the room and say, “This one’s awake in here.” Gino and I jumped up so quick and ran to her side. She just looked at us w/her big beautiful eyes and tried to move her mouth like she wanted to tell us everything that had happened to her and even tried to cry, but there was a tube going down her throat. My little precious, 7 week old, newborn baby.

I cannot express how thankful I am for every prayer that was said for her. For God carrying her in his arms.

Even though she’s had no episodes, she still has her heart problem. I still give her medication every 8 hours. On that ECHO her WPW will still be there. So please pray if you pray that Ella stays healthy.

Thank you.

Summing Up 2007

Posted on by
1

This has been an amazing year. We started our year out in Sacramento, where we’ve lived our entire relationship/marriage. Where our son was born. Where our family lives. Where our hearts reside. I found out I was pregnant in December 2006. So, I started 2007 out pregnant and praying and praying that all would go well. In 2006 I had been pregnant and lost our baby girl, Mya. So, we entered 2007 with high hopes that it would be a much better year than 2006 brought us.

April 7, 2007 we did the unthinkable. We packed our home up and moved to Oregon. I never thought in a million years I’d be able to free myself from the stresses of the City. I never thought I’d be able to leave my mom, my sister, my brother – my brand new nephew. But we did it. We knew that we needed to plant our roots. Jayden would be starting kindergarten and we wanted to have him go to school in a small town. We didn’t want the city life for him or our unborn child. So, with tears in our eyes and a heavy weight on our hearts we left everything we knew and loved for a fresh start at life. I’m happy to say that it was the best decision we’ve ever made. Although we miss our families so much, we are finally a content, happy, loving family. I couldn’t ask for more.

August 14, 2007 we gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Ella Marie was 6lbs 7 ounces ~ 18 1/4 in. long. Amazing. The most amazing part of this day was that Jayden was at the hospital. He had his ear to the door waiting to hear his baby sister’s first cry. Moments after she was born Jayden was in the room holding his baby sister. Our family at that moment was complete. It’s like a hole in our hearts was filled. Jayden was an amazing big brother from the beginning. Never an ounce of jealousy, which being that he was an only child for 6 years I was a little scared of this.

September 5, 2007 ~ 1 year since we lost our angel baby Mya. We sent her off balloons at Lithia Park and had a family picnic. It was a very sad day for us, but at the same time we realized that without Mya leaving us we wouldn’t be able to have Ella and we couldn’t imagine life without her.

September 11, 2007 ~ Jayden started kindergarten. I cried. I wouldn’t have cried but the PTA passed out a poem that made me cry. He’s been doing absolutely wonderful and he loves school!! He’s writing his name, adding, can tell you what letter words start with and is working on reading!!! He’s so smart and just an amazing little boy.

October 5, 2007 our world almost came to a crashing stop. Ella was hospitalized and we discovered that our healthy little baby girl wasn’t so healthy. She was extremely sick and we had brought her in to her doctors the day before and was told that she just had an icky stomach virus. I knew in my heart that something else was wrong with her. Something major was wrong with her. October5, 2007 Ella’s doctor called me and asked me to bring her in for a quick check right before the weekend. Thank you, Lord. Thank you thank you thank you! If he hadn’t asked us to bring Ella in Ella would not be with us today. Ella’s heart rate was jumping up to 280 and she had been in this state for so long that her organs were starting to shut down. A couple more hours and this baby girl would have stopped breathing. They ended up shocking her heart and thankfully it worked. But in order to repair the damage they gave her something that paralyzed her and put her on ventilators so she didn’t have to work on breathing while repairing her organs. She got mediflighted to Portland and we learned that our baby girl had a heart defect called Wolf Parkinson White Syndrome. We now are aware and I can instantly tell when something is wrong with her, but we’ve had quite a roller coaster with this. She now is on medication that she started on 10/25/2007. This medication is a miracle. After many hospitalizations she has been symptom free ever since she started this medication. I am so thankful that she doing so well now. She will be able to have a procedure when she’s older where they go into her heart w/a catheter and fix her problem. Until then we are lucky to have a medication that works.

Besides Ella’s heart condition we had a miraculous and wonderful year. We’ve never been happier than where we are at in our lives. I am now able to stay at home with my children while I work for my Grandparents through my house. I couldn’t have ever asked for anything more wonderful. It’s like everything we’ve ever dreamed of us happened to us in 2007. I hope that 2008 brings us as much joy as 2007 has.