A different outlook, a new path – my life.

Posted on May 27, 2012 by Amanda

It’s very easy for me to allow life to get in the way of my faith. Not a statement I’m very proud of, and definitely not a statement I enjoy being able to say. But it’s a truth for me.

Today I finally took the plunge and went back to church. I needed it. I needed to hear whatever message would be awaiting me – and THANK GOODNESS I did. Every message in every class was like this amazing breath of fresh air – the kind you didn’t know you really needed until your soul expanded with it.

My journey with church really hasn’t been a very long one. I just can’t count my childhood experiences with church in my journey, because it wasn’t stable, consistent, nor did it have much of my thoughts and heart into it. Back in 2007 when my family first started going to church I found myself molding very quickly in the “Mormon” form. I think that I molded into what was expected of me so quickly that it just was too much for me. I actually found myself being overwhelmed with it all, and when I’m overwhelmed I tend to want to turn around and walk the other way.

I started to compare myself to others at my church, realize that my thoughts will never be like theirs {funny I even thought I KNEW what their thoughts are}, and found myself not agreeing with certain aspects of the church. I do 110% with all of my heart and soul believe in the Mormon church – there has never, ever, EVER in my entire life ever held one ounce of doubt on that being what I believe to be the church of Jesus Christ. HOWEVER…. certain things that the church was putting energy into just really bugged and annoyed me. One example: Proposition 8 – I don’t believe that our church needed to put forth so much effort in trying to stop gay people from getting married – I don’t share the same views on this as the majority of my church does. I don’t see anything wrong with allowing them to be married, to be happy – who are we to stop that? I didn’t like how I felt like certain members held themselves at a higher level than other people. These were the things I struggled with.

I’ve had a lot of time to ponder things and I think it took me a while to realize that NONE of the above matters. Those are things that are happening in not only my church, but a heck of a lot of other churches as well. At the end of the day all that matters is my relationship with Heavenly Father and my example to my children. I don’t need to worry about the social aspect of the church, the people of the church, some of the things the church does that I don’t agree with – all that matters is that I am there with my children to soak in whatever message Heavenly Father has for me and to give my children the values that I think are important. And I have no problems with being ME while going to church. I’m not perfect, I never will be – and I’m not going to change me. I’ll continue to grow inside and keep the principles that are so important within me, but I’m not going to completely change who I am just to go to church. I’m going continue watching R rated movies, and reading books that have hot as hell scenes in them. I’m not going to stop doing the things I don’t have an issue with – and this is what I believe separates me from the majority of the members of my church.

So – I’m here at a new road in this journey, with a different outlook and attitude for it.

I feel so good about how my life is going right now. Gino and I have been setting some amazing goals to tackle together and are continuing to just grow closer and closer together as a married couple. Marriage is definitely not a walk in the park, but I feel overwhelmed with thankfulness that we are so blessed to be rewarded with happiness together for sticking with each other through all of the hard times.

The exciting thing about life, is we each have our very own; we each get to direct our own courses. I love that what’s constraining for me might be an area of expertise on the people close in my life, and vice versa – I love this because together the people who are amazing forces in our lives are people who we can learn so much from. I hope through my life’s journey I might be able to enlighten my friends and families on values and philosophies that I learn along the way just as I have learned from them – and continue to learn.

I am one lucky person to be surrounded by so many inspiring and selfless people on this journey in life that I am venturing on. I love each and every one of you who have ever put any sort of profound effect on my life. Everyone always enters our life for a reason, and Heavenly Father uses us all as tools to help Him do his work on this earth. I want to be able to look back at my life one day and smile knowing that I was aware of the different lessons and attributes that each soul bestowed into my life.

Some of God’s greatest gifts – unanswered prayers

Posted on May 24, 2012 by Amanda

The days are long, but the years are short.

Funny how true this quote is. Lately it seems like I’m tapping my fingers WAITING for bedtime, then I turn around and wonder how in the world is my baby turning 2 this year?! How in the world is my baby starting Kindergarten this year?! How in the world is my baby turning into such a handsome young man?!

When I was in highschool I had this dreamy vision of my life – New York City, High end accounting firm, living the fast paced life. It WAS going to happen.

Today I haven’t showered, I’ve been in my gym clothes since 3:00pm, pajamas before that – I’m rugged, no makeup ever graced my face, and I’m shocked as all hell that after this day I managed to floss AND brush my teeth today. At around the time that I’d probably be in some gorgeous board room, with exquisite chairs that have foam that remembers how my ass likes to feel in it, I was teaching my child pronouns. My plans changed SO much. My plans that I thought I wanted…. turned into what I realize my true dream was.

I’ve been thinking back on things that I really thought were going to happen, and things I thought I would accomplish by a certain age. My life was planned out by the time I was 16 – I knew who I was going to marry, what college I would be applying to, what career was going to make me the big bucks, and the city I would live in. It’s funny that not ONE of those things have happened. Starting with the boy – it’s amazing to me to see that what I thought was one of the most life crushing heartbreaks of my life, was just the entry way to my true destiny and happiness. What we truly think we deserve in life isn’t always what God has planned out for us – this I’m certain of.

New York City? HA! The town I’m living in I can walk from one end to the other within 15 minutes probably seeing a couple of people I know. There’s only 3 stop lights and there’s a little bar down the street that every once in a while you’ll see a horse parked out in front of. Definitely not New York City.

I don’t regret a single thing. I don’t regret my heart aches, and I definitely don’t regret not living my fast paced life in New York City, because here I sit the mama of 3 of the most beautiful little souls I could have ever asked for. I have been given the blessing to be able to be at home teaching them the things they need to learn from their mama. When I get frustrated in my long days with them, I really need to remember how blessed I am to be able to have them ask me ten million questions, because I could be holed up in an office in the middle of a busy tax time not being able to spend one hour of the day with them. I really need to treasure the messes, the loudness, the cuteness, the frustrations, and every second of my days with them. Because whether I realize it or not, the years are fluttering by fast and soon it will be quiet when once I heard screams, laughter and commotion. I won’t hear the pitter patter of feet running across my ceiling when they’re SUPPOSED to be sleeping. It’ll just be me, my rock star of a husband and our quiet thoughts and memories. These little people of mine have an amazing, fresh start at life that is so full of possibilities, dreams, and wishes. I have to remember that I as their mom have the sole duty of slowing down and making sure that I’m here to fully embrace their desires and help them fulfill their dreams. It is my duty as their mom to not get so frustrated over the little things in life, and the messes that stress me out, because honestly…. what’s the big deal?

All of my plans changed over one boy. One boy who wasn’t in my plans. One boy who swooped in to heal my broken heart. One boy who ended up being the best damn thing that ever happened to me. Together we have formed this life that I can’t help but be so proud of. We’ve got to travel down many different roads together as a couple – some unmarried, unhappy, and ready to throw in the towel – some happy, married and living in bliss. There’s been roads we’ve traveled down that I could have done without, but I know if we didn’t travel down those bumpy, rocky roads and experience the pain and loss and heartaches that we have together, we wouldn’t be us. My life as I know it starts with this boy – this boy I never knew would end up being my soul mate and the best damn partner in this crazy life of mine.

Through all of these detours in my dreams, somehow, some way – one of those dreams has fluttered back into my life. I applied to Southern Oregon University today after spending the last 2 years working towards the credits needed to enter the school of business there to FINALLY reach my dream of becoming a CPA. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever get to this point – kids, a husband, a house to run – but I’m here! I don’t know if we’ll ever end up leaving our little havenous place we’ve found here in Oregon to move to New York for the remainder of my dreams to unfold. No matter what, all that matters is that I have this amazing family of mine backing me up every step of the way.

Some of God’s greatest gifts TRULY are unanswered prayers.

The impact that it had on me was astounding

Posted on June 5, 2011 by Amanda

I’m raising a sneaky little snake. Jayden lost his tooth last night and stuck it under his pillow with so much excitement in him I felt it flow through me. The kid is almost 10 and believes in all the magical things still – including the tooth fairy. He goes up later that night to go to bed and looks under his pillow to check on his first molar that he’s ever lost, and it was GONE! After searching EVERYWHERE for it, we decided that he just needed to write the tooth fairy a letter explaining what had happened. At that point Ella decided that she would go up and help him find it – the little sneaky butt girl led Jayden right to her pillow where his tooth was!

Yesterday I saw Jayden’s sensory issues truly affect him – pretty much broke my heart in two. We went to a birthday party at a place called Science Works – there was a lot of kids, and a lot of parents, and a lot of noise which all caused Jayden to end up in the corner with his ears plugged. It made me so sad for him, but it made me feel so secure in our decision to bring him home from public school. I wonder how many times something like that happened at school and how his mom wasn’t there to snatch him up and flee the situation. I know that there are a lot of kids out there that have this and their parents probably aren’t putting them under a rock like I’m probably doing, but I can’t stand to see my sweet Jayden feeling that way.

All of the kids at the party looked like they were having so much fun and clicked and connected together – even my Ella – but Jayden was a different story. He didn’t cling to any of the boys, just played with himself. I went to some of the exhibits with him and he honestly didn’t care that he was looking at the stuff by himself. That’s just him – he’s okay with who he is and that some kids probably find him odd. He told me recently when we were discussing how one of his really good friends at school called him gay that “friends just sometimes are there and sometimes go and do their thing, and that’s okay.” Saying I’m thankful that God trusted US with HIM is a complete understatement, because I will probably learn more about life through that little boy than I ever could have without him. And he’s right, friends do come and go and they leave their marks on your heart, teach you a lesson that you needed, and when they’ve served God’s purpose in being in your life they flutter off. It’s like seasons, they change. One of my favorite quotes is “Don’t be sad it’s over, be glad it happened.” I hope that Jayden will be able to keep his optimistic views on life and people that he has forever. My goodness that boy is amazing.

I was introduced to Stephanie Nielson’s blog {Nie Nie Dialogues} yesterday. The impact that it had on me was astounding – all of the petty stuff that I’ve been worrying about suddenly felt so insignificant, and the bigger picture of life shone down on me and put chills all over my body and tears in my eyes. For somebody to have such an enchanting and positive outlook on life after having 80% of their body burned is UH-MA-ZING! I then went and found her {interview done} on Conversations, which is a Mormon podcast that sealed the deal on my new addiction to her life. WOW. There are no words that can even explain what that interview can do to your faith and your direction in life. Yesterday I felt down about all sorts of happenings going on in my life, especially the challenges that Jayden is and will be going through throughout his life – But the Nielson’s story touched me. It just sheds light on the fact that we can and should find the silver lining in life.

The post where I talk about moving away from EVERYTHING

Posted on September 14, 2010 by Amanda

I’ve never felt like I belong where I’ve been in life. I sometimes imagine myself living in the south, eating fried foods and corn on the cob and listening to Sweet Home Alabama while I rock in rocker on my porch.

Other times I imagine myself living right on the coast. I never imagine the Pacific coast ~ I think more like Maine, or somewhere so far.

Then there’s the thrill I get inside when I imagine closing my eyes and pointing on a map and planting my roots there. Why not?

We started our lives and family together in Sacramento, California. I thought it was beautiful. I thought I was lucky to live in a city that was so close to the mountains, and so close to the ocean. I thought that seeing all of the trees all over the city and the beautiful rivers that flowed through it was like a painting out of a book.

I started to realize that Sacramento really isn’t all that beautiful. There’s a lot of havoc {and not Enchanting Havoc} and a lot of negativity. It’s expensive and it’s BIG. We had a lot of family and a lot of friends though and I just couldn’t imagine picking up my life and moving away from it.

So the idea of living in the South, the East Coast, or just randomly closing my eyes and picking a place was not an option. How could I leave everything I know and love?

I did it. It’s been 3 years, 5 months & 6 days since I packed up a Uhaul and made the leap… we were high tailing it out of the city and giving our kids the life we knew they deserved. And guess what?! We chose a place that is IN the mountains and the Ocean is still just a 2 hour drive away.

My kids didn’t deserve to have their mom working everyday and then arriving home just a couple of hours before bed time routine was to begin.

They didn’t deserve to live in a place where the gangs and ghetto life would eventually seep into their neighborhood. They need to feel safe.

They didn’t deserve to not be able to play out front and ride their bikes and walk happily to the park while waving at friendly neighbors.

I may have left what family and friends I had behind and chose a place a nice cushiony 5 hours away, but I made the best decision I had ever made in my life. I love my family, but I love my distance. I love my friends in Sacramento, but I never had friends that were moms there. I never was able to understand that THERE ARE OTHERS OUT THERE THAT FEEL THE WAY I FEEL! I can actually make friends that have something in common with me.

Moving away from my security, what I always knew and trusted broke me out of a shell I was confined in for so many years. I had to start from the bottom and work my way up. I didn’t have friends that I had gone to school with. I didn’t have family that I’d known my whole life {I do have relatives where I live though}. I was forced to grow as an individual. I was forced to step out of my box and talk to new people, and make mom friends and go to the park and soak in the days with my kids. And discover CHURCH.

I learned to cook.

I learned that there’s a completely different person inside of me, and she’s a person I actually like.

I learned that my marriage is the most important relationship I have on this earth. That any outside influences that take me away from him are not good influences.

I learned to be a mom. And this to me was the most important thing I learned. I was a mom a before, don’t get me wrong, but I lived a fast paced, busy life. I didn’t take the time to REALLY be the mom that my children deserve.

I learned that I can figure life out without the influences of other people. I can figure out what I like, what I believe, and what my values are all on my own.

Picking up and moving away from the only thing we ever knew truly was the best thing I ever did. I will never go back to that fast paced, city life again. I’ve found my happiness and I’ve found me. Wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Crazy Hectic Day ~ But I’ll Survive

Posted on March 31, 2010 by Amanda

Today was havoc… there’s no other words for it. You know when you have a day that EVERYTHING goes wrong? Well, that was me today. I’m sure I could have mentally turned this day around, but I didn’t ~ so up until not too long ago I was going CRAZY!

My dog ran away, 3 dishes are broken {complete accidents}, my living room looks like a tornado went through it, so does my kitchen, and I’m exhausted….. been exhausted all day long.

But as I sit here looking at the mess I get to clean up, which will probably take me until close to midnight, I’m feeling grateful. I’m feeling grateful for my life, because as hectic as days may seem, my life is really good. Sometimes when we have days like this it’s so easy to get caught up in the depressingness of it all, but if I do that… I’ll just go in a downward spiral. So ~ I’m going to clean up this mess, pray for my dog, and thank God for my children and my many blessings in my life.

Just a Motivating Monday – Happiness

Posted on January 11, 2010 by Amanda

If you’re just joining in:
-Write a blog post about ANYTHING at all that inspires you, or something you feel will inspire others.

-Please link back to Garibay Soup

-Please snag my Just a Motivating button on your post.

-I hope that we can all go and visit each other’s blogs and read what everyone has linked up ~ I hope that this carnival can bring more traffic for you 🙂 So, spread the comment love!

It’s really unfortunate that our world is filled with so much unhappiness. I’m going to be simple and to the point this week.

Happiness is a choice. I’m a STRONG believer that we create the things in our lives all by ourselves. If you’re unhappy it’s more than likely because you are choosing unhappiness. Heck, if you are constantly focusing on the negative things in your life, the people around you’s life, you can bet your butt you’re gonna be completely, miserably unhappy.

Focus on what you have, focus on the happy moments that happen in your life. If you focus on those things, guess what…. it’s the most amazing thing EVER…. you’ll have more of them.

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” —Oprah Winfrey

I look at that quote by Oprah and think that this most definitely has a lot to do with happiness. Not just things. Happiness is something you either have, or don’t have.

Focus on happiness.

Choose Happiness.

I hope this little snippet on happiness will inspire you from here on out, not only for this week but for the rest of your life to choose happiness. We are too blessed to be depressed!

Works for Me Wednesday – Designing the BEST 10 Years of Your Life

Posted on December 30, 2009 by Amanda

This year coming up I’m kicking resolutions out the door. I’m not about to spend another year making a list of things that I ended up forgetting about 27 days into the new year. Nope… this year I have found something that is DEFINITELY going to work for me!

Personal Growth is HUGE for me right now. I have spent tons and tons and tons of time talking and talking and talking about it on my blog. It’s so important for us to grow in our lives, and there’s no better way to jump on board with personal growth then what I’m going to share with you.

Darren Hardey who is the publisher of Success Magazine is doing an 8 week FREE workshop on his blog. People…. this is HUGE! His workshops cost around $1,500.00… and this man interviews the most successful people in the world! What better person is there to learn about personal growth and how to make 2010 the best year of your life?

I can’t even begin to describe the joy and excitement I have for this!! It’s starting on Monday and the best thing you could do is head over to Darren Hardy’s blog… watch the video and join in on this… IT COULD CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

{CLICK HERE} to head over to check this out!! And then {HERE} is the newest post he’s written about this!

For other things that work for other’s head over to Kristen’s blog over at {Works For Me Wednesday}

Humbling Life Experiences

Posted on December 24, 2009 by Amanda

This time of year is supposed to be time of joy, and a time of being thankful. For us, it most definitely is. I’ve had things happen to us that are VERY humbling. Things that I didn’t expect, and while they should have us in a panic instead have us at peace.

These couple of weeks I’ve learned a lot about people I thought I knew. These past couple of weeks we have found out of HUGE changes coming into lives, and these changes are the best changes I could have ever asked for.

Today I’m taking my right to ramble. I’m rambling away on here and talking of MANY things going on. If you’re reading this and thinking it has to do with you…. it just might. However, please keep in mind that this post is not about any one person… it’s sortof a whole slab of people.

GOSSIP.

Most ugliest word in the entire world. This word destroys relationships, people and souls. I am most definitely guilty of it, as most people in this world are. I actually have many personal goals going on right now, and cutting gossip out of my life is at the top of the list. Especially, since I’ve learned recently that somebody VERY close to me is just full of gossip lately. Making crazy things up, and acting like a lunatic as she gossips about me to MANY people….. people that even have NOTHING to do with her.

Don’t take this post for what it’s not. I’m not here to have it out with people, call people out. I am here for the sole purpose of talking about things that can ruin people’s lives. I’m quiet lately. Not on the phone with people I usually am on the phone with, because honestly… I just want to get through this holiday season without hearing another thing that makes me cringe.

This holiday season there are so many people that I am just plain out disgusted with. The majority of them are in my own family….. my own flesh and blood. And guess what…. GOSSIP is the reason why.

Changes are being made in the Garibay home. Humbling changes, exciting changes, and I am just completely thrilled that I am at the point in my life that I am at. I am so thankful to have the most amazing, supportive, loving husband that a girl could EVER ask for. I am so thankful to have the most sweetest little souls as my children that a girl could EVER ask for. We’re doing this together as a family.

2010 is going to be a wonderful year for me. Grudges will not be held. I will be very reserved on what parts of me I let people in on. I will continue to better myself as a person. I will try to see the best of everyone as that’s what I’ve always done. I will no longer gossip. Sometimes funny things about people that you want to share with others seems like a good idea at the moment…. even if they are true, but it’s not a good idea. {all bets are off when it comes to me keeping things from my husband…. HE KNOWS EVERYTHING I KNOW}

Gossip on me will be ignored. I do not have the patience for this anymore. Especially coming from people who are supposed to be respectable people. The delusions that they can fabricate in their head is absolutely amazing. AMAZING. Now I understand the things that have been told to me. Now it’s all clicking and making sense.

If you are a negative, self destructing person, I will probably not be surrounding myself around you. If you are somebody who does nothing but talk about others I will probably not be surrounding myself around you. You become who you are around and I prefer to surround myself with positive, successful people who are striving to constantly improve their inner self.

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; ~ Matthew 5:44

Just Breathe

Posted on September 23, 2009 by Amanda

My blog isn’t always funny, cheery or anything that would ever make any reader ever come back to it. BUT IT’S MY BLOG, so sometimes I have to throw some crap up in the mix that means nothing to anybody but myself… cuz that’s why I have a blog right?

The word family to me is a BIG, FAT JOKE! I’m not talking about my precious, beautiful family that I have here ~ my husband, my son, my daughter… I’m talking basically about the other family… the extended family.

I’m not fortunate enough to have a good, close, loving family. That just doesn’t exist for us. We have the occasional callers, the people who use you because they need something and then the people who FU&$ you right up the ass. Yeah, if you can’t tell I’m pretty pissed off. Dreams are shattered, stress is bellowing and I have to figure out how to make things right.

If I am absent from my blog for a while, just know that I’m working on things. If I’m not tweeting, I’m working on things.

I will be okay. I just need to remember that my husband and my kids are the ONLY thing in this entire world that matters. It’s unfortunate when life that’s going so well suddenly throws a tornado at you… a tornado that flips everything out of control.

Just breathe, Amanda, just breathe.

Our Days are Never Promised…. Treasure each 1

Posted on September 4, 2009 by Amanda

Our days are never promised, we are here living our lives in hopes that we live a long, healthy life. That is not always the case. You may wake up one day, have the best day of your life, and never make it to the next morning.

It’s a sad, scary, thing that for the most part we try to not think about. I like to think that I will be around for many years to come, that I will get to meet my Great or even Great-Great Grandchildren. But reality is, I may step into my car today and never get out alive. Worse to me is one of my loved ones could step into a car and never come out alive.

It’s a fact and it’s a fact that scares the living crap out of me. You never, ever know when your last kiss will be. You never know when you will see that smile for the last time. We need to treasure every, single moment granted to us on this earth, because every, single moment is so precious.

I received a phone call at 6am with tragic news, news that has me thinking about life. A very young, married couple traveled on a road I know too well to head home after a vacation. Right now, 1 is dead, 1 is on life support and their 3 month old baby is on their way to the hospital to be with her grieving family.

I do not personally know this couple, but I am very good friends with one of their siblings. I am utterly heart broken for the family, I am utterly heart broken for the wife who is now responding as they’re going to attempt to take her off of life support for the moment she discovers that her husband is gone. That there will be no more smiles, no more kisses, no more arguments… no more nothing. That life she loved will never be the same. How in the world do you find the strength to breathe after finding something like that out? How do you move on when the one person who you are supposed to live your life with is gone?

Do you let the ones in your life know how much you love them every, single day? Do you fret over small stuff that in the end doesn’t matter? Strangely this has been an eye opener for me…. I need to focus more on each day as the last day of my life. Would I spend it bickering with my husband, being frustrated with my kids and the house? No…. I definitely would not. So on days where I’ve just had it, I’ll hug my babies, hug my husband and thank Heavenly Father for this day I have with them…. because they are my world, and I couldn’t fathom even the thought of not having them in it.

Doshier family, you and your entire family is in my prayers. I pray that hearts are comforted, that your sister is healed both physically and emotionally. I am here if you need anything and I am so, so, so sorry that this had to happen. I am sickened for everyone and you will remain in my thoughts and prayers throughout this horrible healing process.