Category Archives: MARRIAGE

Some of God’s greatest gifts – unanswered prayers

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The days are long, but the years are short.

Funny how true this quote is. Lately it seems like I’m tapping my fingers WAITING for bedtime, then I turn around and wonder how in the world is my baby turning 2 this year?! How in the world is my baby starting Kindergarten this year?! How in the world is my baby turning into such a handsome young man?!

When I was in highschool I had this dreamy vision of my life – New York City, High end accounting firm, living the fast paced life. It WAS going to happen.

Today I haven’t showered, I’ve been in my gym clothes since 3:00pm, pajamas before that – I’m rugged, no makeup ever graced my face, and I’m shocked as all hell that after this day I managed to floss AND brush my teeth today. At around the time that I’d probably be in some gorgeous board room, with exquisite chairs that have foam that remembers how my ass likes to feel in it, I was teaching my child pronouns. My plans changed SO much. My plans that I thought I wanted…. turned into what I realize my true dream was.

I’ve been thinking back on things that I really thought were going to happen, and things I thought I would accomplish by a certain age. My life was planned out by the time I was 16 – I knew who I was going to marry, what college I would be applying to, what career was going to make me the big bucks, and the city I would live in. It’s funny that not ONE of those things have happened. Starting with the boy – it’s amazing to me to see that what I thought was one of the most life crushing heartbreaks of my life, was just the entry way to my true destiny and happiness. What we truly think we deserve in life isn’t always what God has planned out for us – this I’m certain of.

New York City? HA! The town I’m living in I can walk from one end to the other within 15 minutes probably seeing a couple of people I know. There’s only 3 stop lights and there’s a little bar down the street that every once in a while you’ll see a horse parked out in front of. Definitely not New York City.

I don’t regret a single thing. I don’t regret my heart aches, and I definitely don’t regret not living my fast paced life in New York City, because here I sit the mama of 3 of the most beautiful little souls I could have ever asked for. I have been given the blessing to be able to be at home teaching them the things they need to learn from their mama. When I get frustrated in my long days with them, I really need to remember how blessed I am to be able to have them ask me ten million questions, because I could be holed up in an office in the middle of a busy tax time not being able to spend one hour of the day with them. I really need to treasure the messes, the loudness, the cuteness, the frustrations, and every second of my days with them. Because whether I realize it or not, the years are fluttering by fast and soon it will be quiet when once I heard screams, laughter and commotion. I won’t hear the pitter patter of feet running across my ceiling when they’re SUPPOSED to be sleeping. It’ll just be me, my rock star of a husband and our quiet thoughts and memories. These little people of mine have an amazing, fresh start at life that is so full of possibilities, dreams, and wishes. I have to remember that I as their mom have the sole duty of slowing down and making sure that I’m here to fully embrace their desires and help them fulfill their dreams. It is my duty as their mom to not get so frustrated over the little things in life, and the messes that stress me out, because honestly…. what’s the big deal?

All of my plans changed over one boy. One boy who wasn’t in my plans. One boy who swooped in to heal my broken heart. One boy who ended up being the best damn thing that ever happened to me. Together we have formed this life that I can’t help but be so proud of. We’ve got to travel down many different roads together as a couple – some unmarried, unhappy, and ready to throw in the towel – some happy, married and living in bliss. There’s been roads we’ve traveled down that I could have done without, but I know if we didn’t travel down those bumpy, rocky roads and experience the pain and loss and heartaches that we have together, we wouldn’t be us. My life as I know it starts with this boy – this boy I never knew would end up being my soul mate and the best damn partner in this crazy life of mine.

Through all of these detours in my dreams, somehow, some way – one of those dreams has fluttered back into my life. I applied to Southern Oregon University today after spending the last 2 years working towards the credits needed to enter the school of business there to FINALLY reach my dream of becoming a CPA. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever get to this point – kids, a husband, a house to run – but I’m here! I don’t know if we’ll ever end up leaving our little havenous place we’ve found here in Oregon to move to New York for the remainder of my dreams to unfold. No matter what, all that matters is that I have this amazing family of mine backing me up every step of the way.

Some of God’s greatest gifts TRULY are unanswered prayers.

Nothing but everything to say

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She’s not growing up as quickly as the other two did.  I feel as if she’s soaking up her babiness – and I love it.

She’s 5 months already. She started sitting up a few days ago, and eating foods through her meshed little holder {coolest thing I’ve ever seen!}  She’s teething, but I’ve noticed a HUGE difference ever since she started wearing her new amber necklace.

She’s such an amazing little soul that I just can’t get enough of.  Ella and Jayden adore her and have been nothing short of an amazing help with their new little sister.  I feel like I’m discovering more about myself as a mother this time around.  I’m realizing things that are important, things that aren’t.  I’m remembering that the days are long, but the years are short – so I try to treasure every moment with Aliyah being so small, cuddly, loving, BABY.  The idea that she’s approaching her half year mark makes me cringe a little inside.  I’m not rushing the milestones.  I’m just enjoying the small things.

I probably have around 7 unpublished blog posts.  Posts I’ve started and not finished, posts I chose not to share – I feel like lately I have so much to say yet nothing to say, if that makes any sense to you.  I might release those blog posts soon – I don’t know.

I feel unorganized a bit in my life. I don’t feel like reading blogs and writing on my blog is going to help me in that department, so I’ve sortof strayed a little to get myself and my home life a little more organized – and I’m so not even close! There’s so much CRAP that I just need to get rid of. I’m trying to simplify things in my home, with my friends {I’ve had to dejunk a few of those as well} and really try to reach within ME to figure out things that I need in my life.

While I feel a tad unorganized lately, one thing still remains a constant, and that’s this beautiful family of mine. I was sitting here tonight thinking about how lucky I am to be in love with my best friend, to have these amazing kids who drive me CRAZY during the day, but hold all this love for me and I for them. We’re not a perfect family, but we are a family – and a family who has fought hard to be where we are today. A girl I know – her family is falling apart right before her eyes. Her husband decided he was done. I can’t be more thankful than I am at this moment to have a husband that is in it for the long haul – that isn’t willing to throw the towel in when perfection doesn’t exist. This man right here…. he’s my happily ever after. Thank God for him.

Just a Motivating Monday ~ a marriage post

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**Just a Motivating Monday Button will be uploaded later**
If you’re just joining in:

I LOVE inspiring things to motivate me and I thought what better of a day to read inspiration than on dreadful Mondays. If you would like to write something you think will inspire or motivate others PLEASE link up!! I’d love to read your words and I’m sure that other’s would as well!

Editing to add that I am submitting this in for my Pour Your Heart Out post for the week.


 
Lately there have been some things happening in a marriage to a couple I know, not close with, but I know them. I know the details of their marriage through an individual who is close with me and close with them. {can’t give details on who it is exactly for their privacy}

Their marriage is in utter turmoil. A girl has entered into the man’s life, a girl who has no respect for family or marriage, and this man is willing to just throw away his MARRIAGE over some young girl who will walk away from him when the drama of his wife finding out starts. For now they’re just both enjoying the excitement of LUST nothing more than just that. While they’re enjoying this, there’s a wife at home with a baby that has no idea.

No idea that the man who is supposed to stick with her through thick and thin, for better for worse is planning to end their marriage over a girl that it is in my best interest to not describe my opinion of her, because I am better than that. 

When learning of the events going on currently in this marriage I can’t help but feel sad. I haven’t always been an advocate of making your marriage work. My marriage by no means has ever been perfect ~ in fact we’ve had problems in the past that would make your head spin and most people run to the family courts for divorce papers.

But we’re here.

We’re happy.

We’re not perfect, but we know that our marriage matters. We know that our children matter. We know that there is no force out there that can interfere with our happiness. Period. There is nothing too big that we can’t talk and work through. Resorting outside of our marriage is not an option. Period.

These people are not friends of mine, and I don’t know why it’s bothering me so much, but it is. It’s made me reflect A LOT on marriage and has me very grateful for mine and the small problems it contains.

My heart aches for his wife. I’m sure she’s not perfect in her marriage, probably has taken him for granted for the most part, but all it takes is a little communication. TALK! If you’re having issues in your marriage roll up your sleeves and get to work on it. Don’t be a coward and go find the first young home wrecker and destroy your family.
At the end of the day…. Your immediate family is ALL YOU HAVE. Friends come and go, extended family even comes and goes, LUST comes and goes…. It’s what is under your roof that will love you unconditionally, be there for you when you need it the most. So, doesn’t that deserve the most devotion and work from you?
I’m posting this as my Just a Motivating Monday post because for some reason this situation is motivating me in a weird way to pay extra special attention to my marriage.  It’s making me think A LOT on what’s important in life, in family, in marriage, in parenting ~ a whole mess of thoughts are going on through my mind. 

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Just a Motivating Monday – Themed Edition ~ Marriage

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If you’re just joining in:
-Write a blog post about ANYTHING at all that inspires you, or something you feel will inspire others. 

-Please link back to Garibay Soup 

-Please snag my Just a Motivating button on your post.

-I hope that we can all go and visit each other’s blogs and read what everyone has linked up ~ I hope that this carnival can bring more traffic for you 🙂 So, spread the comment love!

THEMED EDITION ~ MARRIAGE


I wanted to do a themed edition of Just a Motivating Monday on Marriage, because Valentine’s Day is in 1 week! I think the best thing that we can motivate each other on is on marriage….

I’m going to talk for a moment on my marriage. We’ve been together now for 9 1/2 years, married for 5 1/2 years and happy for ALMOST 3 years. During these past 9 1/2 years we have truly been tested, we have truly prevailed and we can truly say we have defied all odds by remaining together and ending up happy at that.

I know that marriage is one of the hardest things in the entire world. Parenting is very trying and some might think it is one of the hardest things in the entire world to do, but MOST people don’t just walk away when times get tough. There are the few people out there that do do this {sad that they are parents} but most parents stick with it and fight with everything in them to ensure that their children have UNCONDITIONAL love. Marriage is not like this in most cases. It gets hard, promises are broken, you fall out of love and the towel gets thrown in… the marriage in most cases ends up being over.

We’ve been at the lowest points in our marriage.  Promises, vows were broken, being in love was non-existent, and divorce should have been immediately in the works.  But something amazing happened, we fought.  We chose to fight hard with everything we had, and the most amazing thing happened ~ we fell in love with each other, all over again.  THAT was amazing.  Now we know, times will not always be easy, but if we stick with it and fight together to grow back together, there’s a sweet reward.

“A successful marriage is falling in love over and over, always with the same person.”


I hope in some way this post will touch you and remind you that marriage is meant to be forever.  If times get hard, fight.  Fight til you literally have NO FIGHT left in you.  Falling in love over and over again with your spouse is amazing, and so worth the hard times to get there.  

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Friday Favorites #1 ~ Aloha Friday Family Activites?

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I have one carnival going on, and sometimes people link up, and sometimes they don’t. That’s okay with me… it’s okay, because I started the carnival to guarantee my readers that once a week I will post something inspiring… and hopefully it will motivate their Mondays. Now, I’m starting up another. Do I hope to see people link up? ABSOLUTEY… but even if I don’t link ups, Friday Favorites will still be here.  If you want to skip all this Friday Favorites stuff and head straight over to the Aloha Friday question please scroll down 🙂


I love to do Friday Favorites, and I just usually ramble away with them. I thought about maybe structurizing it a bit this week and adding a linkup – you are more than welcome to link up your Friday Favorites.


Since I’m structurizing I figured I’d go ahead and add some topics below… the names are my kids’ names, you can do whatever subjects that you wish…. but these are the subjects I’m mainly going to stick with.  I may add some other weeks, but these are my main ones!

Accomplishments:  This week I accomplished my huge laundry pile… that by far is my favorite accomplishment.  I know, boring but a favorite of mine!  

Jayden: I overheard Jayden tell his friend not to say God, and to say Gosh instead. For the first time since starting Kindergarten Jayden has found a “real” friend that he really connects with. I see major differences and similarities between the two. I hope that Jayden continues to be the good example that he is. I can’t even express how proud I am of him.

Ella: Oh boy, this girl is TOO MUCH! She started swim lessons this week and we have had so much fun doing them!!  My favorite thing of this week is that she showed that she has a huge heart and loves to see the excitement of others.  I noticed this today at her swim lesson where she wasn’t throwing a fit when other’s were getting turns… instead she just showed excitement.

Marriage: I know that marriage is one of the hardest things, but I am a strong believer in fighting through it all. I feel fortunate that we are both at a very good point in our marriage. My favorite thing about this week to do with my marriage is that I personally am trying to do things to make my husband happy without expectations back.

Favorite Blog of the Week: Definitely 110% my fav new blog for this week is {A Place to Bloom}. It is definitely a place where you can bloom as a mother and wife. One of the writers of the blog is a dear friend of mine and I absolutely love what they are doing.

Favorite Blog Post of the Week (not my own): Believe it or not it’s also from A Place to Bloom. I found {this post} and instantly LOVED it. It’s about spending time together as a family and I believe it is a VERY important thing. This guest poster over at A Place to Bloom had this post very well written.

Photography:  Today, actually, I was referred to somebody to do their wedding.  I’m nervous, but figure I have to start somewhere right?  Another favorite is I finally printed my first 20×30 prints and they were of my beautiful children… I am absolutely in LOVE with the results.  I love walking into my home and seeing such huge displays of what I believe is the most beautiful thing on this planet.


Now for {Aloha Friday} 

What is your favorite thing to do as a family?  I’m talking simple, something that can be done on a weeknight type of a thing.


HERE’S THE LINKUP FOR YOU TO LINKUP YOUR FRIDAY FAVORITE’S POST

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Just a Motivating Monday – Marriage

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If you’re just joining in:

-Write a blog post about ANYTHING at all that inspires you, or something you feel will inspire others.

-Please link back to Garibay Soup

-Please snag my Just a Motivating button on your post.

-I hope that we can all go and visit each other’s blogs and read what everyone has linked up ~ I hope that this carnival can bring more traffic for you 🙂 So, spread the comment love! 

Every week I do a post on something inspiring. Something that might touch your soul and inspire you in some way. Sometimes people link up with things that motivate them, and that’s okay. There’s no wrong way with this carnival and I just wanted to throw that out there. You can link up motivating or inspiring…. either way it will move us 🙂

With that little note said, I’m writing yet another piece on something that inspires me….
Greet one another with a kiss of love — 1 Peter 5:14

It’s the little things in life that matter. It’s the casual smile, the squeeze of the hand, the random phone call in the middle of the day that truly screams “I LOVE YOU!”

I’m hoping to inspire you to do something random and beautiful for your marriage today….. Choose one of the following ideas and do them! Yes, I’m totally stealing these ideas from the book Fireproof:

Call your husband at work and just ask how his day is going


Write a love letter and leave it inside of his pants/shirt pockets 
 
Don’t say anything negative to your spouse (this is hard, but well worth it!)
 
Do a random act of kindness


One thing I am starting to learn and try my hardest in practicing in my marriage is to wake up thinking what can I do to make his day happy. It’s hard, sometimes we as human beings tend to want to be selfish, but in a marriage you can’t be selfish. You will see that if you start living your life to make your husband happy, make his life easier, happier he will in turn want to do the same for you. So in the end it’s a win/win… and if he doesn’t in turn do that, that feeling of doing nice things for your husband are well worth it!

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I am Simply Blessed

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I love it when I find carnivals that has a purpose for something I like to write about. Today I stumbled upon a blog called {Simply Blessed}. The carnival that she hosts is something that I was going to write about today anyways, and this just gave me an idea to spin it off in another direction.

My husband and I have been married now for 5 years. We have lived together for going on 9. From the time I turned 18 my husband and I have been together. Choosing to spend your life with someone at such a young age can sometimes lead to unhappiness, divorce, trials….. or you could just be lucky and have truly found life’s bliss.

I didn’t find life’s bliss at such a young age. I found that love is nothing like the movies. I found that fighting can pierce your heart. I found that happiness doesn’t exist every, single day. I found that becoming parents at such a young age can put so much pressure on your relationship that you forgot how you even liked each other to begin with. I found that keeping house is downright impossible especially when it wasn’t just me to keep up after. I found that silence hurts, that screaming relieves, that breaking phones releases. I discovered what it was like to hate, I think he discovered this as well. I found that sins are easy to make, and take a long time to heal.

So how is this all a blessing? Because despite the above we stuck together. We made it work. After changes to ourselves and for each other we are happy. We love each other. It’s not like in the movies, but it’s our love. It works for both of us and I go to bed with a smile on my face almost every, single night.

My marriage is a blessing. I couldn’t be more thankful for my best friend and the heart of my soul. He has grown into a man that I am proud to say is my husband. A man that I am proud to say is the father of my children.

There is no bigger blessing to be able to say that this marriage has overcome some things that people get divorced over and we’re still growing strong. I truly am blessed, and madly in love.

On a different note:

Join me on Monday for my carnival Just a Motivating Monday it’s an inspirational carnival, where we as bloggers share things that have inspired us, or things we think will inspire others. And on Thursday 7/23/09-Saturday 7/25/09 for the {HAPPY BLOGNERD PARTY}!! It’s for us nerds not making it to BlogHer and to celebrate my BIRTHDAY ~ GIVEWAYS WILL BE HAPPENING!!!!

Time and life

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I have not been able to find enough time in my days lately. My to do list is overwhelming, my project lists are overwhelming and I sometimes feel like I’m failing as a mom. At the end of the day I sigh and wish I had taken videos of Ella’s cuteness, of the things that come out of my precious son’s mouth and maybe more pictures.

But after rushing through the day, and not even being able to keep up my house I almost feel as if I’ve failed the day. I need to be more structured, and although I’ve been working on this, I’ve never actually succeeded here. My entire family needs structure, because things get forgotten, and that’s not supposed to happen.

I used to spend a lot of time on the computer – not working, but doing the things that I love to do. I’ve cut that time durastically, because I felt like I wasn’t doing the best I could for my family. Things weren’t getting done, and dropping my computer time has indeed helped. But there’s more that needs to be done. I sometimes feel rushed and I don’t like that. I want more special one on one time with my children. I want to have a fun project that we do at least every other day. Their childhood is flying by and I’m scared that through rushing through my days that I’m going to miss something important.

I want to see the excitment in their eyes as they dip their hand in paint and not fret about the mess that’s about to be made. I want to have set hours that I work and not work other than those hours, a set time to sit with Jayden and have him read or read to him, a set time to spend one on one time with my husband (even if it just consists on catching up on Desperate Housewives episodes). I just don’t want to forget the important things I should be getting done daily.

My kids and my husband need to know that I do have it together, I can handle it all, and they are the most important thing ever to me.

I Love My Marriage

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Marriage to me is one of the most powerful things on this earth. It is a bond that you form and choose to stick with someone forever. In my case for all eternity. It’s a bond that you can’t break, it’s a bond that you don’t want to break even when it’s the one thing in this world you’d love to break.

I met my husband 8 1/2 years ago and I’ve been happily married for almost 3 years. Married for almost 5. We’ve been through some disastrous situations, ones that end marriages, but we overcame them together. Divorce has never been an option, even when it should have been. Instead, we learned to love each other again, maybe for the first time. We learned what it means for better or worse. I learned to appreciate my wedding ring and it’s symbol of a never ending circle. This marriage will never end.

This man that I’m married to is my best friend. Nobody can make me more mad, but nobody can make me more happy. We’re this powerful team that can conquer anything together, because we’ve almost been through it all in our eyes. We are proof that the most horrible marriage can survive and I feel like for us sticking it out through the thick and thin that God has blessed us with a great marriage.

I don’t think I tell him enough how thankful I am for him. I don’t think I tell him enough how there’s no way in this world that I could do this life without him, that there’s no way in this world that I’d want to do it without him. But I’m telling him here, now. Someday he’ll read this blog and when he comes upon this entry I want his heart to smile.

You are an amazing husband, Gino. I’m proud of the choices and changes that you have made to better yourself and our family. You make my heart smile every day. I’m thankful to have you as a husband, friend, and father of my children.

When Kristen announced the SWAK carnival I was so excited. I love to brag about my marriage and my husband. So, if you want to brag about your husband or read other’s entries go to her blog and start reading away.

Early Christmas for Ella – Elmo’s World

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Yesterday I took the entire day to myself. I shopped, spent time with one of my sisters (one of the daughters of my dad… the 16 year old) and got my teeth cleaned, checked in w/my orthodontist…. it was a BUSY BUSY day. I absolutely loved every single second that I was out of the house without my kids.

While I was gone Gino had the kids helping out around the house. He told me Ella even had the swiffer and was mopping for him. Excuse me, but why don’t my kids do this for me??!?!?! Why is that my husband can get them to be productive but I can’t? Ridiculous!

Anyways… Gino went into our garage, which is nightmare beyond nightmare beyond nightmare to try to find my stocking that I’ve had since a baby. No luck, but he found a ton of other stuff! One of those talking Elmo’s that Jayden had as a baby that Ella now has fallen in love with. It’s like Christmas for her! So tonight she’s been going around pressing Elmo’s hand so that Elmo will sing Elmo’s World to her. He found tons books and their Finding Nemo movie… little did he know that I bought the movie yesterday for Ella. Now I have to take it back LOL.

I was going through some of the pictures that I took and found this one of Jayden… what the heck was going on with that expression? He is a crack up.