Category Archives: My Neighbors a PIMP

The neighbors… oh how we love them! ;)

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Me & Celeste out on the town for my 27th B/day

The story eventually had to come here. Back in September 2007 we moved into our home. We don’t own it, it’s not even a house… it’s a townhouse (individually owned) and we’ve always loved it.  When we first moved in of course we’d see our neighbors… a casual wave but then there was “THE” neighbors.


Celeste… I know you’re totally laughing right now as you’re reading this!


Right next door was this girl that was blonde, drove a convertible mustang and we NEVER said hi to each other, looked at each other… and in all actuality we just rolled our eyes when we saw the other.  We really didn’t like each other at all…. yet, we didn’t know each other.  I never introduced myself, and she never introduced herself.  


Then she got pregnant.  I casually talked to her about her pregnancy, nothing more.  


Then she had the baby… I made her dinner, started going over and talking with her.  And dang it… we’d wasted SO MUCH TIME not liking each other, because in all actuality WE WERE JUST ALIKE!  


A year ago she gave me the heartbreaking news that they were moving… not far, but moving.  There was no more convenience to our friendship anymore.  When that happens, and your life is busy you grow apart, and that’s sad, but that’s life.


Not us.  I’m actually gonna have to say that we’ve grown even more closer since she moved.  Our girls ABSOLUTELY love each other.  She has become one of my closest friends…and IS my closest friend in Oregon.  I absolutely adore her!


So, when she ended up having to move out of her dream house, and creepy pimp neighbor gave his notice she decided SHE’S COMING HOME!!!!!!  My Oregon BFF is going to be living RIGHT NEXT DOOR!  I can knock on my wall and she can come over…. our girls can play EVERY, SINGLE DAY!  


Can ya tell I’m excited?  I always think it’s so funny that we were so stand offish with each other at first only to become so close in the long run.


Now that these two girls are living right next to each other… you can probably expect a lot of blogging both here and over at {A Life Full of Ruthie} about us catching them doing things like this…. hey, since their mamas aren’t cleaning the bathrooms while visiting… somebody’s gotta do it!

On a side note… yes, this means there will no longer be any blogging about crazy pimp neighbor. HE’S FINALLY GONE!

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Neighbor on Craigslist! LOL!!

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Totally slacking here! Sorry…. there’s been new neighbor episodes.


Frankly… not even normal.


“Jim” comes to my door and asks if I was offended when he offered to take pictures of me for my husband. Offended? No. Would do it in a million years? No.


Apparently, assistant girl went on Craiglist in our area under Artists and put his name as the subject. When you opened it I guess it told people of how he was offending his neighbor by trying to get her to pose nude for him, and that he spent $14,000.00 on hookers this summer. That confuses me, because how can he be a pimp if he’s spending money on them? Obviously he doesn’t know what he’s doing…. or he’s just down right a perv!


So, after he told me this {which he claims it’s all lies} I asked if he reported it to Craigslist and he said he did. DAMN! I ran ever so quickly to my computer to take a screen shot of it for this blog post, but Craigslist is good… it was gone. BUMMER!






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Oh there more, people…. there’s more!

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Do you need to catch up on the neighbor drama going on before reading the following?  It’s all about having a PIMP for a neighbor. {CLICK HERE}


Things have been quiet.


Life has begun to be normal.


Occasionally I hear a garage door open next door, but THAT. IS. IT. NOTHING


Until today….


Door bell rings, I answer there is “Jim” creepy neighbor pimp.


Me: “Um, hi, Jim!”


Jim: “Just wondering if you’ve been being bugged from “Assistant”. Has she been calling you?”


Me: “Nope.”


Jim: “Oh, good! Glad she’s not bugging you. Have the cops been by to talk to you?”


Me: “Um, no. Should they be?“


Jim: “Oh, no. Just curious, okay talk to you later.


Me: Speechless


Can we say WEIRD?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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Just when I thought it was over….

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Oh boy… if my neighbor only knew that I was sitting here blogging about his life.. UGH! That’s okay… he never needs to know! So here I go airing out more…

“Assistant” has my phone number.  When I first met her I really was clueless to what was going on next door and I had told her I do photography, she wanted me to do her daughter’s pictures so I handed her a business card.  She called…

She wanted to inform me that she called the cops, because “Jim” has some of her stuff and she has some of his, she wants to exchange property.  Well, she’s trying to get statements together from people to give to the cops showing him what “Jim” does.  Okay, what does this have to do with me??!?!?  I’m not a hooker… I’ve only talked to the man a few times.  Oh, right… one of those conversations was quite awkward.  

When I met “Assistant” she had just gotten her boob job.  That kinda spiked my curiosity of what in the world does he do?  I knew he was an artist, because I’ve seen him load his canvases in the car, but what kind of “Assistant” gets a boob job?  So I asked.  I asked him, “Jim”, what is it that you do?  It was a day I was loading my kids in the car as he was putting art in his.  He told me that he takes exotic pictures of women…. oh, so that explains the unusual traffic of women… whatever *rollseyes* Then came the kicker…. “I’m going to say this in the most respectable way I can.  If you ever want to do pictures for your husband I would love to do them.”  Yes, he really said that to me.  My thoughts… oh, yeah, I’m just going to have some random, old perv take my pictures!  Let me just take off my clothes for ya…. H TO THE N-O!

So, phone call today… she wants a statement about it and then told me that if I had allowed him to (um, never an option) that he would have made money off my pictures.  That’s great!  Could you imagine????  Not that I would EVER, EVER, EVER allow ANYBODY to take pictures of me…. could you imagine if I was clueless, had no self respect and wanted to go ahead with it… then one day when I became rich and famous (because we all know one day it will happen) the pictures came to haunt me… lovely.
I wonder what else is going to unfold.  I don’t like being the person they both talk to, however, I like to know what’s going on.  I’m a girl, and drama is my nature.  I don’t like being a part of drama, but I LOVE HEARING ABOUT IT!

Wow…. um, yeah…. Celeste, I know you’re reading this, my friend.  And I’d like you to give your Mother In-Law two thumbs up for me on the winner she chose to rent your old house… and while you’re at it… COME BACK!!!!  I FRICKING MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY!  Just think about the fun our girls can have together living next door to each other again.  And P.S. Saturday is going to be SO MUCH FUN!!!  I HAVE NEEDED A GIRLS NIGHT OUT SINCE MY BIRTHDAY!  That’s pathetic huh?  I owe you for your birthday so it’s going to be FUN!

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Neighbor Drama Continued

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I got sick and couldn’t continue on with the neighbor saga, but here I am to continue for all of those who were calling/emailing/DMing LOL  Names are being changed to protect identity.

There was a knock on my door and I answer to find his “assistant” standing there, sunglasses on and not very happy.  “Do you know how to get ahold of “Jim”?”  She asked.  “Um, no.”  I’m sitting here thinking why would I know how to get ahold of him?  I’m just the neighbor that sits back and watches all the weirdness go on.

She tells me that he turned off her and her kids’ cell phones, changed his number, threatened to kill himself.  He’s in debt because he would spend between $300-$500 a day on escorts.  And that’s where I laughed and said oh… I thought he was a pimp.  She looked at me and said, “Oh, he makes money off of these girls too.”  WOW.  So he is a pimp!

“Assistant” continues to stop by wondering if he’s come home yet.  He actually has come home, cleaned out his garage so he can park his car in there, poured out all of his alcohol and disposed of the bottles in recycling, and is kinda hiding out from her.  I have no idea what in the world is going on.  I saw him yesterday and asked how he’s doing and he said that he’s doing better.  I asked if he has kids and he said yes, and his wife of 25 years passed away.  Then he jokingly said… “I don’t think that’s the reason for my actions this summer.”  I think he had a breakdown.  

So, “assistant’s” story is that he’s basically a pimp that sleeps with escorts.  His story is that him and “assistant” broke up.  Somebody is delusional, and my bet is on HIM.  Although he did buy “assistant” a boob job, and from my calculations, this happened towards the beginning of whatever relationship they were having.

My thoughts are, she was part of his “business” or whatever the heck it was, and he took their relationship a little more seriously.  I think he realized that he was drinking way too much, stopped drinking and realized what in the world he had been up to these last few months.  I think he decided to change everything and had to cut her out of the picture in order for this to work.  These are just my thoughts on it, who knows.  You can tell the man is lost in this world.  

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And I was like…. wooooa!

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I’m a girl… and girls LOVE a good soap opera story in real life to watch unfold. Well, maybe not so much a soap opera story, but in this case…. A REAL LIFE O.M.G THERE’S A PIMP NEXT DOOR STORY!


I’m gonna back it up here for a second to last week…. I think it was last week. I drop Gino off at work and pull up to the house to sit in my car talking on the phone to my friend Kandi while Ella watched Winnie the Pooh. I figured I’d just hang out in the car, wait for her to fall asleep then drive to pick up Jayden. Well, lo and behold, Mr. Mysterious that lives next door and leaves at all hours of the night and did I mention IS OLD is at his house with his “assistant”.  Next events happen quite quickly and entire time I’m in complete shock thinking I KNEW IT!!!!


– Trashy car pulls up, blonde bimbo w/tats gets out of car and walks up to house where “assistant” is standing. (Keep in mind I’m in my car, engine off & tinted windows) Trashy girl hands “assistant” a wad of money.


-Mr. Mysterious comes outside and “assistant” walks over to her car while trashy blonde bimbo w/tats goes in the house with Mr. Mysterious. “Assistant” waits outside. Then after a few minutes “assistant” walks over to house, lightly knocks and peeks in and then walks in.


-I’m giving a play by play of all actions right now to my friend Kandi and we’re completely just O.M.G CRAZINESS! So the saga continues…


-“Assistant” and blond bimbo w/tats come back outside and the Mr. Mysterious follows…. CRAP! This is where I get caught. Mr. Mysterious sees me in the car… I pretend like I’m not looking and am in just a complete serious conversation on my phone. Too late… girls leave and Mr. Mysterious approaches my vehicle.


His words: I’m in a complete love triangle mess! Did you see the girls?


Me: Yes I did!
Me in my head: and I also saw the wad of cash being exchanged


So, he ends up making this total story up to make me not realize that something completely illegal is going on. So, I come to the conclusion that he is indeed a pimp.  


The story doesn’t end here my friends… oh no… the saga continues tomorrow ~ and you’ll find out what exactly this Mr. Mysterious really does… and I’ll tell you this much it’s definitely an O.M.G kind of thing!

Tomorrow’s events will begin…. there was a knock on my door. (and the knock occurred TODAY!  See ya back here tomorrow for the conclusion.

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