Category Archives: Parenting

and days like this too shall pass

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Today I sat in my car and wanted to cry.

I had to take a deep breath and tell myself that they’re just kids and unfortunately sometimes this is what kids do.

Parenting is the hardest thing besides a marriage. I’m not sure which one is harder, but they’re both pretty dang hard. Parenting and marriage become not hard when you choose to give up. That is something I will never do with either.

My son is probably one of the best, well behaved little boys out there. Yet today, he was completely defiant to me. Anything I told him to do he wouldn’t do…. anything I told him not to do he’d do.

I am sitting here…. literally done. My brain hurts, I’m exhausted, and I want nothing more than my children to just go to bed. And my house to be magically put back together.

But the reality is they’re not going to go to bed right now, I actually will have to put this house back together manually {myself}, and this is the life of a stay at home mom.  It’s exhausting yet so rewarding at the same time.  Not every day is bad, and not every day is good…. but every day I am here with them and I need to remember that they need their mother to be patient with them, and I need to remember that this will pass.  The days where my biggest concern is my son pushing my daughter on the merry go round when I asked him not to will be a day I really wish I could go back to.

These days that end with me literally drained from brain to the tips of my toes are days like this…..
and the day these little beauties of mine are all grown up and moments like these have passed I will definitely wish I could go back and soak it back in.
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My Little Stutterer

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I love Shell’s Pour Your Heart Out Wednesdays, because I am one that REALLY loves to pour her heart out on her blog.  This week I’m dealing with something new and heartbreaking so here I go ~ 

A little over a week ago my little girl started to stutter. At first it would just be her repeating the first sound of the sentence over and over for a few times before she finally spit it out, but now it’s worse. She actually will open her mouth and have such difficulty getting the word out that she just attempts trying.


This mama is HEARTBROKEN! I pray HARD that this is just some phase she’s going through and she will outgrow it, and she won’t stutter for the rest of her life…. because my heart can’t handle her feelings getting hurt from the mean kids she’ll encounter.

I made her a doctor’s appointment, against everybody’s advice. Even my son’s speech therapist’s advice. Luckily I saw him at the park and snagged him for a little insight into his brain on what we’re going through.  His main advice was patience, don’t put words in her mouth, basically just let her work on it on her own.  But she struggles and all I want to do is help her slow it down and give her the word she’s trying to say.  

Now here’s the downfall of parenting.  You hurt when they hurt and the more kids you have I think the more hurt you’re going to have to feel!  With having an SPD child I’ve hurt a lot.  My heart has felt like it was literally stabbed when he comes home to tell me that some evil child has told him how weird he is.  My heart has been stabbed as I’ve watched him with his beautiful manner at the age of 5 walk up to a kid to play with him and introducing himself as Jayden, while putting his hand out to shake it ~ only for that evil child to turn around and walk away from him.

I don’t want my kids to hurt more than general life already will make them hurt.  I don’t want my daughter to come home crying because somebody made fun of her because no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn’t get that word out.

I’m taking Ella to the doctors even if it’s a waste of time and he tells me the exact same thing as the speech therapist told me, because I want to do everything I possibly can as early as I possibly can if this does indeed turn out to be a problem and not a phase.
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Parenting…. hardest most rewarding thing in the world

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I know all parents think this, but this isn’t all parents’ blog…. this is Jayden & Ella’s mom’s blog.  So in my eyes, and in my world they are the best thing that God has put on this earth.

Parenting is so challenging and patience is such a hard thing to have, but tonight as I looked at my children I knew patience is the one thing they deserve more from me than anything else.  Pregnant or not, hormonal or not, messy house or not…. these kids deserve patience.  And patience is exactly what I’ve been lacking during this pregnancy.

Sometimes I really don’t feel like I’m the best mom.  I know there’s no “best” mom out there, and compared to people who leave their children to go party, leave them at daycare all day while working just to pick them up and drop them off somewhere else, because they can’t handle them and would rather pawn them off onto someone else ~ I’m a heck of a lot better than that, but I’m just feeling sucky.  Morning sickness really has a way of messing up your everything in life.  The exhaustion of pregnancy makes you feel completely helpless, and have food aversions makes everything even worse.

But I have to remember, that I am a good mom.  These kids are the entire center of my world and they are why I do everything I do in my life.  I really hope that their memories of their childhood consists of good ones, and I’m making it my ultimate goal for them to remember their mom as an excellent mom.

While life has been a bit hard through this pregnancy, this too shall pass.  My pregnancy with Ella wasn’t the easiest, and I actually threw up every day of it ~ but that’s not what I dwell on, and that’s not strong in Jayden’s memories.

~I love my children 
when they’re sleeping soundly and life is calm and quiet, 
I stare at them and pray to God to give me what my children need… 
patience, love, understanding and faith 
most of all faith.~
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Precious Alana has left ~ Psycho Blog Stalkers… hope you enjoy!

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Hello stalkers welcome to the stalker club, because sadly I have many. And yes, I did know that you people were coming to my blog ~ just like I know that Alana’s brother’s mom is STILL coming here and reading about my life, which is a little creepy.  BUT I really hope you share with Carina all of the things I have written, because THEY ARE THE TRUTH.  Carina knows I love her and would do anything for her and Alana, but I SPEAK THE TRUTH IT’S WHAT I DO ~ AND SOMETIMES THE TRUTH HURTS LIKE HELL.  


Since that has been addressed…..


There are many things in life that unfortunately we can’t control. I know this, and in my family I’m known among them all as the one who likes to always have things in control and I take situations and make them mine. I don’t know why I do this, maybe it’s the mother hen {thank you, Kandi, for this word.. I use it often lol} in me, but I feel like everybody’s problems are my problems ~ therefore I attempt to solve them.

I don’t care who’s reading this blog.  I don’t care if my niece Alana’s “other” family reads it {since creepily they do}, because I never lie on here, I only tell life how it is.  Sorry that it’s not a pleasant thing.  I’m sorry that my niece has had to live a life of being tossed here tossed there.  I’m sorry I was giving her a very good life.  

She woke up everyday happy, and layed in bed next to her cousin as they read books.  They’d eat their breakfast, and play and go next door to their BFF’s house.  If we didn’t play at home we played at other places, fun kid places.  She lived a life of laughter, smiles & happiness.  She took a nap at the same time every day.  She ate her vegetables, but knew that she had to say her prayers before eating those vegetables.  She had fun bath time with her cousin and sometimes with her BFF too.  They were 3 peas in a pod those girls. Nighttime she loved to get in HER princess toddler bed.  She loved it.

I know that her mom was not happy about what she had to do.  I know deep down that her mom knows she’s better off here than anywhere else…. FOR NOW.  I say for now, because every child needs their mama, but every child needs their mama when they’re on the right track…. putting what’s important first.  I know her mom was tricked into even coming up here, and I wish she had a spine to tell them all what she thinks, and how she knew {because she’s told me over and over} that that Alana is safe and happy HERE.

Do I think Alana’s going to be safe?  Not too sure on that.  If her mom is taking her to her “grandma’s” house then kindof.  I know that her mom leaves her during the day w/one of the drug addict psycho men that were creeping around my house last week.  I don’t think that’s very safe.  If she stays with her mom, then we have her with her mom who is struggling really bad right now.  I wish she’d get help so she can be a mom to Alana. Alana needs structure, Alana needs to know that she isn’t going to be ripped from here, tossed to there, and that the bed she lays in at night will be the same bed she wakes up to in the morning.  She needs what we gave her.  I wish more than anything it was something that her mom could give her, but right now ~ she can’t.

I’m extremely grateful tonight that my children have structure, stability, and security.  I’m extremely grateful that even though I’m far from perfect, that they have a good mom.  It’s funny that at times I really do stop and question if I’m that good of a mom.  Then I think about all of the things I’ve given my children.  Structure, stability, security, the gospel, God, love, 2 parents, and lots and lots of laughter.  I’m a good mom.  I need to remember that when I’m thinking otherwise. 

I could go on and on, but I won’t.  My heart is sad, my home definitely feels like something is missing, and believe it or not ~ I feel SO bad for Carina, Alana’s mom.  I couldn’t imagine being in a situation where first off I go almost 2 months without seeing my daughter, and then I have people pulling the strings in my own life.  One thing about me is I do what I know is right and good for my kids, my family and myself.  She’s not in a place in her life that she can do this, and that makes me so sad.  Alana had a picture that she carried with her and even slept with of her mom and dad when her mom was pregnant with her.  It broke my heart, because she looked so happy, so healthy.  I wish she could find her way back there for Alana’s sake.  Alana needs her mom to be happy & healthy, so that in turn Alana can be happy & healthy.  I’ve known Carina for a long time, and she’s like a little sister to me.  I’ve always been here for her, and wish I could make all of her problems disappear ~ but I can’t.  

So, tonight, it’s all in God’s hands.  Not only does Alana need your prayers, but it wouldn’t hurt to give Carina your prayers as well.  And my Ella needs prayers.  She’s sad.  She lost her best friend, her cousin.  Tomorrow will be a hard day for her, but mommy will make sure that she has a good one.  Because I’m THAT kind of mom.  

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An Update for my 2nd Glass of Pour your Heart Out

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I SERIOUSLY never know what to expect with the situation with my niece and her mother. If you haven’t read {THIS} post yet, you should.  This is an update to my post for 

The original plan was that my niece’s mother was leaving Sacramento yesterday at 7pm to drive 5 hours, in the snow to pick up Alana. Then after she picks her toddler up and disturbs my family in the middle of the night, she then was planning on traveling back to Sacramento, in the snow, with her toddler. Needless to say, I was frustrated and upset.

Then I get a phone call from her saying that she’s going to instead be leaving at 2pm today. Then I get a message left on my voicemail from her brother saying they’ll be leaving around 2 and will be arriving here around 7. Whatever.
Oh, that’s when things change. This morning I could tell her mom had been partying all night and now she’s having issues with her family and has canceled the entire thing. So, now after I have prepared Alana for her mom coming to get her she has changed her mind.  Alana was expecting her mom, and I am relieved.
Her brother most definitely had not changed his plans, because I received a call from him letting me know he’s running late.  I had to inform him that I most definitely will not be handing Alana over to ANYBODY except for her own mother, and at this point her own mother prefers her to remain here with me.  Thank God.  Did he actually think I would hand over my niece to an absolute stranger {in my eyes}, he obviously doesn’t know me and the protective mother hen I am when it comes to my children and any child in my care. 

People…. this is a very, very crazy roller coaster.  I really never truly know what I’m going to wake up to.  So for now we still have her.  For now, she’s still safe. 


Believe it or not, there’s more {HERE}

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Pour Your Heart Out – #2

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On Wednesday’s Shell {if you click on the image below you will be taken to her awesome blog} has one of my new favorite carnivals ~ and I’m EXTREMELY early in posting this, but tonight was a night that I absolutely had to……..

so if you’re reading this post and would like to participate in Pour Your Heart Out, Shell will have it up for linkups Wednesday morning.

I have had my niece Alana for 44 days. For 44 days a mother has been putting something before her own child. For 44 days a child has been without her mother. For 44 days I have struggled with trying to give this child normalcy, structure and love. Things I don’t think she’s seen very often, because unfortunately most of her life has been spent being tossed here, being tossed there.
I’m writing this after I received the phone call that after 44 days her mom will be coming tomorrow to get her. She’s done with her party {for the time being} and is ready to play mommy for a while. But how long will it last? This is the part of taking a child into your home that’s the hardest.
I HAVE to put this in God’s hands and know that there is nothing I can do at this point. This child unfortunately was born to a girl who should have never been given the blessing of a child. She has no clue what honor it is to be able to love and teach your child. She has no clue what being a mom is all about. To her, when she’s tired of playing the responsible role, she just tosses her to the next willing person that will take her in. I’m sad to say that unless rights are going to be signed over to me I will not be this person anymore. I can’t be. It’s too unstable for her and my family. My children get close and attached and then have to have her ripped from them. 44 days is a very long time in they eyes of a child. Bonds have been made.
I now have to worry about my daughter and how she’s going to feel that a member of our family who has become a huge part of our life is ripped from her. Jayden is old enough that he understands that Alana was not here on a permanent basis, but my 2 1/2 year old doesn’t. As much as they fought, they got along. Ella will be getting more one on one attention with me, but what about her constant play mate? I’ve tried to be strong and put a wall around my heart, but tonight I’m sad. I’m sad of what’s to come of this precious little girl’s life. I’m sad that I didn’t fight harder for her. I’m sad that she’s leaving the one place in her life that actually had a family feel. Not just a mom, but a dad, a brother, a sister… although we were just aunt, uncle & cousins… but it’s the feeling I’m talking about. She got to experience going to church, praying before meals, getting tucked in at night. She got to experience love. And I’m sad to say that what she comes from doesn’t shower her with love. Any mom that ever puts drugs and men before their own child doesn’t know about being a mom.  
I wish I could give Alana the life she deserves, but for now it’s not in my hands.  All I can do is put it into God’s.


UPDATE TO THIS CAN BE READ {HERE}
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Just a Motivating Monday – Quotes from LDS Conference

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If you’re just joining in:
-Write a blog post about ANYTHING at all that inspires you, or something you feel will inspire others. 

-Please link back to Garibay Soup 

-Please snag my Just a Motivating button on your post.

-I hope that we can all go and visit each other’s blogs and read what everyone has linked up ~ I hope that this carnival can bring more traffic for you 🙂 So, spread the comment love!


It’s hard to put into words what I experienced this weekend. One thing I wanted to do for Just a Motivating Monday is share some very heart touching quotes that came from the semi-annual conference that the members of the LDS church get to experience.

This weekend the conference seemed to be based on families, parenting, motherhood. Things that I feel I personally needed to be strengthened on. The words that were spoken this weekend spoke straight into my heart.
“The most important work you will ever do are within the walls of your own home.” ~Elder Ballard

“Hold your tongues about things that don’t matter.” 
 ~Elder Ballard

The two above quotes by Elder Ballard really touched me.  How many of us sometimes put what’s in our home 2nd?  I as a mother needed to hear this ~ what work we put into our families is the most important, and I need to put more effort into ensuring that we are all growing spiritually together.  In this life NOTHING should ever be more important than your family, and passing on your faith, wisdom, and knowledge to your children so they can take that with them throughout their lives.  It is our divine responsibility to teach our children about Jesus, and the gospel.

The 2nd quote ~ There are so many things that don’t matter, so why do I even talk about them?  This quote I REALLY needed to hear, and am so thankful that I did.

“Every person we meet is a VIP to our Heavenly Father.”
 ~ President Uchtdorf
“A tattered & worn $20 bill is still worth $20.00. ~ I am beat, worn, torn & crumpled, but I still have worth.” 
~ President Uchtdorf
“We can speak of love all day long, but until we manifest that love into action, our words are nothing.”
 ~President Uchtdorf
“Jesus talked the talk and walked the walk, but he walked louder than he talked.” 
~ President Uchtdorf 

President Uchtdorf is one of my most favorite talkers.  I am always pleased at every talk he has given and was definitely not disappointed this time as well.  He put in beautiful words how we should love everyone.  I think the $20.00 bill analogy was PERFECT.  We’ve all been worn and torn but we all still have worth, and to God we are ALL His children and he loves us all.  Something I thought long and hard is how would you feel if someone was mean one of your children?  It hurts you, right?  I think that’s how Heavenly Father feels when we are mean to His children, because that’s what everybody is.  We are all important to Him.

I hope this inspired you this Monday to realize that first and foremost, our homes are the center of everything. We need to strengthen our families, and teach our children the things we want them to take into the world with them as they grow.  In my case, it’s the gospel of Jesus Christ.  To you, it might be different, but it’s our duty as parents to teach our children.  

I also hope that these quotes have inspired you to love others.  After I watched this conference I realized that there are many people that I stress about and have done so much wrong to me and I’ve realized they are the ones that need my prayers and love the most.   

There are so many more quotes and heart touching things that were spoken during the conference and if you would like to hear these talks you can do so {HERE}
Did you already hear the talks?  What was one of your favorite quotes?
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Just a Motivating Monday – Growing

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If you’re just joining in:
-Write a blog post about ANYTHING at all that inspires you, or something you feel will inspire others. 

-Please link back to Garibay Soup 

-Please snag my Just a Motivating button on your post.

-I hope that we can all go and visit each other’s blogs and read what everyone has linked up ~ I hope that this carnival can bring more traffic for you 🙂 So, spread the comment love!


It’s not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can’t tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself. 
 ~Joyce Maynard


Being a mom has opened up a lot of things for me.  At the age of 16 I starting doing books for small businesses…. and I have worked ever since.  I of course got my high school diploma, took a few college classes ~ but I NEVER got my degree.

I absolutely want my children to go to college, and I absolutely expect them to never let go of their dreams.  Well, how in the world can I expect that out of them, if I don’t do the same?  

I make it known to them that I am focusing on fulfilling my dreams, and they are watching me do this…. in turn, I KNOW they will do the same with their life.  But why should they go to college and get a degree if their own mom doesn’t have one?  So, I’m going to college, my friends.  I’m actually starting this Spring semester and am probably NUTS since I hardly have time as it is, but it’s something I have always had as a goal.  And I’m diving in.  

I’m starting with classes that are in subjects that are of interest to me ~ psychology for now.  I’ll eventually go through and get everything done for my degree, but this semester is all about psychology.  I’m taking 12 credits in understanding people this semester.  

I want my children to be proud of me.  I want my children to follow in my footsteps.


What kings of things are you doing to grow with your child, to show them that we NEVER stop reaching for the stars?

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IF MCKLINKY IS NOT WORKING JUST LEAVE YOUR LINK IN THE COMMENT FIELD AND I WILL UPDATE MCKLINKY WHEN IT IS WORKING AGAIN. THANK YOU.

WFMW ~ Double Toddler Trouble

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If you don’t know about Kandi @ Twin-spirations you need to! She is my mentor in life, not only in my business, but literally in my life. I have received by far the BEST parenting advice EVER from her. Luckily she’s not an online friend for me…. she’s a smack dab in real life sister to me. Not biologically, but she might as well be my big sister. Because I’ve never had one {big sister that is}, and she’s been in my life since I was weeeeee little.

SOOOO I wanted to share a bit of advice she gave me with having 2 toddlers {I currently have my niece who is the exact age of my daughter 2.5!}

TIMEOUTS are a very negative thing. However, if your toddler is doing something that needs to be addressed you simply grab their hand and let them know that they need to take a break. Mommy’s can even take a break when they get out of control…. that way they know that sometimes, we all just need to take a break.


So ~ for the break they get 1 minute/their age and they can bring a book, or a stuffed animal and they can take that time to reflect on what they did. It’s been working GREAT for me!

Now here’s the kicker…. if you have twins that are toddlers, or deal with 2 children, and one does something to the other you can put them both on a break. When the break is over having each come to you and tell you why they had to go on a break and the one who you “thought” didn’t do anything and was just the victim tells on themselves! It’s genius!  

So, this is what’s working for me right now… being a “mom” of two toddlers is quite new for me since I’m used to only 1. ~ 


So please if you have any other tips for me… feel free to leave them in the comments 😉

If you want to learn about other things that work for other’s head over to {Kristen’s Blog} ~ lots of good stuff!!
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Finding Patience as a Mom

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I struggle with patience. It’s a fault of mine, and it’s something I wish wasn’t. Patience is the single most important thing for a parent to have, most importantly, a mom to have. Whenever I say my prayers I always ask for more patience, and I’ve really been trying to reflect and pinpoint how I can change myself in order to have more of this virtuous thing.

Being a part of this blog community can really just put things in perspective. When I’m lacking patience I think of mother’s whose babies are no longer with them. When I’m lacking patience I think about the moms who seem to have it all figured out and are Martha Stewart of parenting. But you know what? It’s okay. We’re not perfect, and if we were perfect we wouldn’t be here.

I think my patience has really been tried these past couple of weeks as I’ve had a new little girl in my life. Having 2 toddlers definitely has its challenges. Having 2 toddlers REALLY tests your patience. And sometimes I wonder if God does certain things, to answer your prayers. Recently I heard somewhere to be careful of what you wish for, or pray for. You might be asking God for more strength, so he gives you more trials to strengthen you. I was asking for more patience, so God gave me another toddler to really try my nerves LOL. But I’m thankful for it, because I’m learning and I’m growing.

Lately one thing that REALLY, and I mean REEEEEAAAALLLLY tests this mama’s patience is when Miss Ella Bella locks herself in rooms…. it’s an every day thing and something that SCARES THE CRAP out of me.  What if she’s locked in a room and there’s a fire?  Or what if she shoves something in her mouth and chokes?  When she locks herself in the bathroom she’s getting into my Bare Minerals makeup, which kills me and then finally will come out once her makeup is done.  I have video of this and I have a video of the girls at the park ~ they’re so dang cute when they get along haha.


Untitled from Amanda Garibay on Vimeo.


Untitled from Amanda Garibay on Vimeo.
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Thought I’d add before the mom blog police attack me ~ yes I do know there is cleaner on the toilet and that my daughter was locked in the bathroom with access to it…. I was cleaning my bathroom and literally walked out for a couple of seconds to throw something over by my washing machine when Miss Thang swooped in, slammed the door and locked me out.  I did however know she wasn’t messing with the cleaner as her obsession is with makeup.

AND! Wanted to add that the videos were totally taken from my DROID phone… the video camera is THAT good!

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