Category Archives: What the #%*^

Let’s be real here –

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I’m LDS.

I was born into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints {Mormon}.

But I didn’t go to church all my life.

In fact church is rather new to me. Within the past few years new.

I have to come out and talk about a few things that really bother me. Things I keep to myself, or share with my husband.

But I’m disappointed.

I’m disappointed because this church is supposed to signify something so much more. Let me scratch that and start over…. THE PEOPLE in this church are supposed to signify something so much more. I know we’re not all perfect, which is why we all go to church. But GOSH! Why do some Mormons have to act like they are so much better than you? Yes, even as a member of this church I get that.

I just want to tell you that if you have ever been curious about the church and have been turned off by a holier than thou member – they’re not supposed to act like that. They are no better than you just because they are going to church and you are not…. or because they are going to THAT church and you are not. Trust me… Jesus sure wouldn’t be patting them on the back for treating you like that.

Don’t get me wrong…. I’m very much LDS ~ my whole heart believes in everything it stands for, but sometimes….. sometimes…. the people just have a way of ruining it for me.

I have to remember ~ it’s about the church and not the people.

It’s times like this that I wish that my blog was anonymous. That’s a mistake I think I made when I went public with it, because there are many things I wish I could come on here and talk about ~ stories that you would spit whatever it is that you’re drinking at your computer screen, because it is seriously THAT FLIPPING FUNNY.

But…. there are many people that would be offended….. people in real life. And my grandpa totally reads this blog… he might not enjoy reading about the fact that my 3 year old found my “fun bag” and started wearing certain things as bracelets. And she got into it TWICE in 1 day. Yes… I gotta get with the program and hide stuff here!

Maybe I should just be ME more on here. Recreating an entire blog just to be anonymous makes my butt pucker at the very thought. And then I might get a face like this –

and can I just add…. there’s really not THAT many members of the church that act like this – I am blessed to have met some amazing friends through my church. And it’s everywhere – I talk to life long members that have gone to church their ENTIRE LIVES and even they get the attitude of these few members who think they are the $H**& – sucks that their egos or whatever have to exist, but apparently they have demons of their own they have to sort through.

Because the lady at the store is totally in my marriage….

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Last week for my Pour Your Heart Out post I got an wonderful amount of people giving me support and advice on my {son’s new found diagnosis}…. I just want to say that I am so grateful for the amazing community that comes with this mommy blogging thing ~ and Shell you ROCK for starting this and being amazing.  With that little intro ~ here’s this weeks Pour Your Heart Out….

Why is it that once you’ve had your third child EVERY SINGLE PERSON you come into contact with has to ask…..

“Are you done?”

Let me retract here for a moment, when I said EVERY SINGLE PERSON, I meant that literally.  Everywhere I go people ooooo and ahhhhh over the {newest little addition} wrapped securely to her mama while sleeping soundly.  Her brother and sister aren’t acting too wild and I’m actually not a total basket case wondering what I got myself into.  Yet, everybody from old people to the lady at the check out in the grocery store to family members HAVE to ask me…. “Are you done?”

I get it, we live in a society where anything over 2 is unheard of, or crazy, or whatever it is that these people are thinking.  But to me, I love my children, and I love being a mom.  I have dedicated my life to ensuring that these little people are loved and hugged and taught and given the light of God’s word into their lives.  I have stepped up to the plate to teach these little ones everything that I know they will need in life to succeed.

My question is… so why is it that everybody is so concerned on whether I’m going to have more or not?  And even more than that…. why is it that people who are basically strangers to me feel it’s their place to give me the reasons on why I should be done?  This happens almost daily.

A marriage is between two people.  Outside judgments are not appreciated. Pretty sure last time I checked, the decision to have another child takes place within a marriage.  Sure, if I was a mother who didn’t take care of my children, form your negative opinions… whatever, but PLEASE do not pass judgment on me for being a good mom.  I know that a lot of people out there feel overwhelmed and spent from the one or two children they have, but I’m not.  I enjoy my kids.  The bottom line is it is OUR decision that WE will make WITHOUT you. It is honestly NONE of your business and your JUDGMENTAL eyes staring at my 3 well behaved, adorable children is not welcomed.

Pour Your Heart Out…. In Laws

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Believe it or not I hate drama. I say believe it or not, because it seems like we ALWAYS have drama going on with family. So I’m here to pour it all out.

I’ve never had a good relationship with my inlaws. They have this preconceived idea in their minds about me, and it’s never changed. We’ve basically played fake with each other for the past 10 years. I’ve always known they didn’t like me, and with how they’ve treated me in the past…. sadly, I’ve never respected them.

The thing that gets me is the act they’ve put on with how wonderful they’ve been to my husband and his brother….. the people gave them a place to live and THAT IS IS. That’s not being a parent. What did they do to set them up for success in life? NOTHING. My husband turned 18 and for Christmas he got tubberware and basically a rush for him to move out so they could play house with his step-mom’s real children. Did they prepare him for college? NOPE. But they have this attitude that they have done so much for them. Sorry, but the fact that his dad is biologically his dad he had no choice….. and doing the absolute minimum for your children is not what I would call a fantastic father.

But the above is not my opinion, the above is my husband’s opinion. The above is how my husband has always felt. Marrying me and starting OUR family is where my husband has discovered what true parenting is really all about.

With that said – it seems that we are having a major issue here based on the fact that I wouldn’t allow my inlaws to camp out and take over my entire downstairs area with their 2 big, teenage children and themselves…. sleeping on my couch and literally making it so there is nowhere comfortable to sit, 4 DAYS AFTER I GIVE BIRTH TO MY DAUGHTER. The comments of “I don’t think you should even have to ask to visit family” makes me laugh. Um, I’m sorry you feel that way, but when you coming to visit actually means me basically not having a house then you bet your ass you’re gonna ask if you can come visit. On normal circumstances, it’s okay to come and visit and take over my entire downstairs of my house, of course with notice …. but 4 DAYS AFTER I GIVE BIRTH ~ I’m sorry, but even the idea entering your head that this would be okay is not okay to me.

I’m of course the devil who is brain washing my husband even though my husband is a grown man who has always had his own opinions on his family. He didn’t need any brain washing from me. I can’t help but giggle at the fact that they really think that.

To be honest, my husband I are so sick of family drama that we just can’t do it. My family is filled with it, now his family is filled with it and it’s just exhausting! Especially right after we have our baby and then her having to be admitted back into the hospital.

I can say this much…. moving to Oregon away from all of them was by far the smartest thing we ever did.

Personal Revelation? Or just coincidence?

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This weekend my husband and I got to go out on a date.  You have no IDEA how needed this date truely was.  We have gone from spending LITERALLY Every. Single. Day together…. since he doesn’t leave for work until the evening, and I stay home…. to NEVER seeing each other. 

It’s a change.

Probably a good, needed change.

But regardless, it’s a change.

And I miss him SO. FLIPPING. MUCH!

So this date was very much so needed.

This post isn’t about our date though.  It’s about something that occured on the date and something that has me REALLY thinking… hard about how God uses us to do his work.  If we stop and actually try to read into the feelings we receive or the thoughts that randomly enter our brain, we might put our finger on what it is that he’s trying to get us to do to help Him.  I call this personal revelation and I truly believe that each and every single one of us receives personal revelation from Him.

At one point during my date my eyes wandered over to a man and his date.  I instantly looked deep into this mans face to see if it was the boyfriend of my sister’s mother {one of my sister’s from my dad}.  I have no idea why I did this or why I would even think it was him, but something inside of me was suspicious.  Seeing this man put in my head a weird feeling about “George” {we’re changing his name up to protect his identity}.

Now here’s what I don’t get, people.  I never see my sister’s mom, her boyfriend or even think about them.  I do know that they live in separate homes, but they are TOGETHER and they share 2 babies.  I recently did a photoshoot of their cute babies {HERE}

Now, let’s fast forward to the end of our date.  My husband and I are walking out to our car from the movie theater when this man holding this blonde’s hand caught my eye…. so I looked and then I stopped DEAD IN MY TRACKS.  By golly gee… it was “George”!  AND he was holding hands with another woman walking towards the theater.

I did what anyone would do… I hope, and I called my sister {who was babysitting my children} and she called her mom.  And her mom went to the theaters and BUSTED him.

Now…. here’s my thing.  Why was I constantly looking for any man that would resemble “George”?  I believe that if we pay very close attention to the feelings that we feel deep inside there probably is a reason for it.  Maybe not every feeling or suspicion, but if something hits you out of the middle of nowhere, it just might be personal revelation from God.

Call me crazy, but I believe that God put me at that exact moment and had me aware looking for what was going to be happening.  And I’m thankful that He did.

Precious Alana has left ~ Psycho Blog Stalkers… hope you enjoy!

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Hello stalkers welcome to the stalker club, because sadly I have many. And yes, I did know that you people were coming to my blog ~ just like I know that Alana’s brother’s mom is STILL coming here and reading about my life, which is a little creepy.  BUT I really hope you share with Carina all of the things I have written, because THEY ARE THE TRUTH.  Carina knows I love her and would do anything for her and Alana, but I SPEAK THE TRUTH IT’S WHAT I DO ~ AND SOMETIMES THE TRUTH HURTS LIKE HELL.  


Since that has been addressed…..


There are many things in life that unfortunately we can’t control. I know this, and in my family I’m known among them all as the one who likes to always have things in control and I take situations and make them mine. I don’t know why I do this, maybe it’s the mother hen {thank you, Kandi, for this word.. I use it often lol} in me, but I feel like everybody’s problems are my problems ~ therefore I attempt to solve them.

I don’t care who’s reading this blog.  I don’t care if my niece Alana’s “other” family reads it {since creepily they do}, because I never lie on here, I only tell life how it is.  Sorry that it’s not a pleasant thing.  I’m sorry that my niece has had to live a life of being tossed here tossed there.  I’m sorry I was giving her a very good life.  

She woke up everyday happy, and layed in bed next to her cousin as they read books.  They’d eat their breakfast, and play and go next door to their BFF’s house.  If we didn’t play at home we played at other places, fun kid places.  She lived a life of laughter, smiles & happiness.  She took a nap at the same time every day.  She ate her vegetables, but knew that she had to say her prayers before eating those vegetables.  She had fun bath time with her cousin and sometimes with her BFF too.  They were 3 peas in a pod those girls. Nighttime she loved to get in HER princess toddler bed.  She loved it.

I know that her mom was not happy about what she had to do.  I know deep down that her mom knows she’s better off here than anywhere else…. FOR NOW.  I say for now, because every child needs their mama, but every child needs their mama when they’re on the right track…. putting what’s important first.  I know her mom was tricked into even coming up here, and I wish she had a spine to tell them all what she thinks, and how she knew {because she’s told me over and over} that that Alana is safe and happy HERE.

Do I think Alana’s going to be safe?  Not too sure on that.  If her mom is taking her to her “grandma’s” house then kindof.  I know that her mom leaves her during the day w/one of the drug addict psycho men that were creeping around my house last week.  I don’t think that’s very safe.  If she stays with her mom, then we have her with her mom who is struggling really bad right now.  I wish she’d get help so she can be a mom to Alana. Alana needs structure, Alana needs to know that she isn’t going to be ripped from here, tossed to there, and that the bed she lays in at night will be the same bed she wakes up to in the morning.  She needs what we gave her.  I wish more than anything it was something that her mom could give her, but right now ~ she can’t.

I’m extremely grateful tonight that my children have structure, stability, and security.  I’m extremely grateful that even though I’m far from perfect, that they have a good mom.  It’s funny that at times I really do stop and question if I’m that good of a mom.  Then I think about all of the things I’ve given my children.  Structure, stability, security, the gospel, God, love, 2 parents, and lots and lots of laughter.  I’m a good mom.  I need to remember that when I’m thinking otherwise. 

I could go on and on, but I won’t.  My heart is sad, my home definitely feels like something is missing, and believe it or not ~ I feel SO bad for Carina, Alana’s mom.  I couldn’t imagine being in a situation where first off I go almost 2 months without seeing my daughter, and then I have people pulling the strings in my own life.  One thing about me is I do what I know is right and good for my kids, my family and myself.  She’s not in a place in her life that she can do this, and that makes me so sad.  Alana had a picture that she carried with her and even slept with of her mom and dad when her mom was pregnant with her.  It broke my heart, because she looked so happy, so healthy.  I wish she could find her way back there for Alana’s sake.  Alana needs her mom to be happy & healthy, so that in turn Alana can be happy & healthy.  I’ve known Carina for a long time, and she’s like a little sister to me.  I’ve always been here for her, and wish I could make all of her problems disappear ~ but I can’t.  

So, tonight, it’s all in God’s hands.  Not only does Alana need your prayers, but it wouldn’t hurt to give Carina your prayers as well.  And my Ella needs prayers.  She’s sad.  She lost her best friend, her cousin.  Tomorrow will be a hard day for her, but mommy will make sure that she has a good one.  Because I’m THAT kind of mom.  

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A Scary Night

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The prior two blog posts before this one were removed for the majority of today. I wasn’t sure who was reading my blog, and things got extremely CRAZY and scary regarding the situation with my niece Alana that I felt that I had to remove the posts until her fate was secure.

My last post towards the end said… I never truly know what I’m going to wake up to. That statement couldn’t have been more true.

I woke up in the middle of the night to men creeping around my house. Men that drove 5 hours to come and take my niece from me…. and I was home alone. And scared out of my mind. THANK GOD I have the most amazing neighbor in the entire world that informed me about this and stayed on the phone with me until my husband got home {unfortunately right now he works late}. Cops were called {they didn’t see them or catch them} and we didn’t sleep well ~ my husband sat up on the couch with one eye open… all night long.  I don’t know what their intentions were in the middle of the night, but I can assure you they weren’t good.  Why in the world they would drive 5 hours after I told them there is no way I would hand my niece over to them ESPECIALLY without her mom’s permission…. and talking with my niece’s mom and hearing her concerns about her brother & mother’s intentions.  

People… I was scared.  I had never in my entire life felt my heart pound as hard as it was pounding.

In the morning they finally decided to approach our home again and knock this time.  I shuffled the girls into a hiding place and we were not answering the door.  Then they called, and I answered.  I threatened to call the police, and they left.  They figured they’d try to call the police and get Alana that way.

Didn’t work.  The cops told them they need to leave as Alana will not be taken out of my home unless her mother who at this point has full rights takes her out.  Thank you, God.

She’s still here, she’s still safe.  

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Pour Your Heart Out – #1

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Tonight I was over at my Bloggity friend {Chelle’s blog} and she was writing a blog for Shell’s awesome {and you can click on the picture to head to Shell’s blog}……….


probably not the best thing for me to join, because I love to hold things in… and then they need to come out ~ so here I go……

I try to keep the tone upbeat here at Garibay Soup… I really, really try. I think mainly because even when I’m not feeling upbeat I know my blog is upbeat. It’s sortof MY LITTLE HAPPY PLACE.

But I’m not upbeat right now. I have so much family drama that I feel absolutely sickened by it. I have a LOT of family alive and I talk to 4 people out of my family. My mom, her dad (My Grandpa), my aunt who I love to death, and 1 of my sisters from my father… and that’s just because I told her I’d buy her a car if she’d help me out. Had I not bribed her to be my on call babysitter, she’d be in her teen world and I wouldn’t be hearing from her.

This is sad. My entire family is so EFFED up that I feel a little gloomy over it.

 I have a sister {from my mom} that I have ALWAYS been VERY close to… and where is she? Oh, she is immature, jealous of me and thrives on drama ~ she can argue otherwise, and frankly I don’t give a crap, but when it comes down to it… she lives a MISERABLE, NEGATIVE life and finds any reason to push people away… well, sweetheart you pushed away the 1 person in this world that loves you to death, and I don’t think I can ever let you close to my heart again.  Hopefully she grows up and realizes who and what is important in life.

My Grandma is the most dysfunctional, controlling, manipulative creature on this planet.  I just want to say that I am EXTREMELY thankful to not have her playing puppet master in my life anymore – lady… if you read this blog I’m just gonna come out and say LEARN HOW TO BE A MOTHER TO YOUR CHILDREN AND STOP JUDGING THEM SO HARSHLY… IT’S QUITE SICKENING.  I have learned a great deal on how not to be with my children from you.  


The funny thing is she wonders why her children have no respect for her {except for the one leaching off of her} but it’s because she sent them all away {me included} as children.  My own mother got sent away at the age of 14 because she wasn’t the “ideal” child… well, my mom ended up 14 and pregnant… thank God cuz now I’m here LOL.  But then when her children were facing hard times in life and needed a mother the most… she vanished, putting her nose up in the air acting like she was too good for them, when in my opinion she was worse than them.

My dad’s entire family… please don’t even get me started on that joke of a circus, because that’s exactly what it is.

The rest… they just have major issues and it’s extremely sad that they turned into what they turned into, but in the end it’s good they are not in my life, because I am doing positive, exciting things with my life.

Okay… now to turn this around a bit.

I have learned from what my family has become to what my family is going to be like.  It’s not going to be perfect, because what family is?  But there is going to be a heck of a lot of values taught, unconditional love given, and definitely a family feel to it.  And for this reason alone I want a large family.  I want to have family holidays together, family reunions, and get togethers throughout the year……  I want my family to be close.

So, if that isn’t pouring your heart out, I don’t know what is.  And I feel a lot better writing this… even if I lose a few blog followers.  This is me people… I’m not perfect, and neither is my life.

  

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The Whitest Hispanic EVER!

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My husband is Hispanic. He’s a nice mixture of Mexican, Cuban, Puerto Rican. What I’m getting at here is he should not only know Spanish, but he should know how to spell things like…. quesadilla.


He had left a status update on his facebook about how he was hungry…. a comment was left telling him that he should make a quesadilla.


HERE’S IS WHERE I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF!


Gino: Um, why did he spell it wrong?


Me: What wrong?


Gino: Erran left a comment telling me to make a CASE-A-DILLA


Yes, people… he actually pronounced it like it was written in English…. WOW!


I don’t think that I’ll ever let him down for this one. I make fun of him EVERY, SINGLE DAY and he’s gotten to the point where he makes fun of himself with me.


At work people come up to him all the time and start asking him questions in Spanish, and he always has to say, “Um, I’m sorry let me find somebody who can help you.” SO FUNNY!


Don’t let his skin color fool you, people…. he’s the whitest Hispanic person I think I’ve EVER met in my entire life.

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Ella is 2 and is acting like a stripper… I’m worried

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I’m sure I’ve blogged about this before, but just in case I haven’t I HAVE TO DO IT NOW! A while ago my ever so ghetto brother decided he would give Ella a dollar. When he gave it to her, he opened up her pull up and stuffed it on the side…. stripper style.


That has stuck with this little girl…. and I’m a little afraid about her future.


Any time she sees money, she grabs it and sticks it in her pull up… coupons… in her pull up. The other day I had $5.00 sitting on the table for Jayden’s book fair, and it was gone! Gino and I were looking everywhere. Ella was standing by the ottoman in her pull up and I walked over, pulled open her pull up to find the $5.00 nestled in there.


Should I be worried?

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Neighbor on Craigslist! LOL!!

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Totally slacking here! Sorry…. there’s been new neighbor episodes.


Frankly… not even normal.


“Jim” comes to my door and asks if I was offended when he offered to take pictures of me for my husband. Offended? No. Would do it in a million years? No.


Apparently, assistant girl went on Craiglist in our area under Artists and put his name as the subject. When you opened it I guess it told people of how he was offending his neighbor by trying to get her to pose nude for him, and that he spent $14,000.00 on hookers this summer. That confuses me, because how can he be a pimp if he’s spending money on them? Obviously he doesn’t know what he’s doing…. or he’s just down right a perv!


So, after he told me this {which he claims it’s all lies} I asked if he reported it to Craigslist and he said he did. DAMN! I ran ever so quickly to my computer to take a screen shot of it for this blog post, but Craigslist is good… it was gone. BUMMER!






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