Category Archives: What the #%*^

Ironic

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We moved to Oregon a year and 3 months ago. When we had first moved here there was one time that we went to Lithia Park and was letting Jayden play. I was still pregnant with Ella. There was this girl there that we were talking with and she seemed like a really cool girl! Her husband was out of town in Las Vegas and she was there with her 3 kids. She talked about how she lived above this dentist office in a loft. That caught my attention, because I always thought living in a loft would be really cool!

We ended up going our separate ways and I was kindof sad that I never got her phone number. She seemed like the type of girl I would really get along with. Especially since I had just moved here and really had no friends.

Tonight we went to the YMCA to our Aqua Aerobics and when we walked in a friend from church was in the pool. Her name is Sandy. She was playing with her kids and we told her about how we were getting ready to do the class. She waited until her husband came down to watch the kids then she joined us. I asked her if she lived close by and she told us that she lived in a loft above a dentist’s office. I told her about how this one girl one time told us about living in a loft and it sounded really cool.

Well, the class ended and I get out of the pool and Gino tells me, “Sandy is that girl! The girl from Lithia park.” I looked at him like he was crazy. There was no way that the girl I really wanted to be friends with was a friend of mine. NO WAY! I finally walked over to Sandy and asked if she used to have her hair this way and did her husband go to Vegas last year, and sure enough… Sandy is her.

How cool is that?

HORRIBLE Friday the 13th

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If things over here weren’t crazy enough, Gino has not been able to drive. Which means I have to tote his butt around everywhere. I honestly don’t mind, but that added with the kids added with work added with Grandparents = no time AT ALL.

It started Friday the 13th. Gino got up for work at his usual time and left the house at 3:45am. As he was coming out of the driveway a cop flipped around and followed him. He finally pulled him over for signaling to turn at 75 feet instead of 100 feet (CAN WE SAY RACIAL PROFILING?) Ridiculous. So, Gino’s wallet of course is in my purse. The cop ran Gino’s name and come to find out Gino has an expired CA license. It expired on his birthday (lovely). So, Gino calls me at 4am to come and pick him up and take him to work. The cop luckily let Gino park his car and didn’t tow it or give him any kind of ticket.

4am and I’m dragging my kids out of bed and not happy AT ALL. Later that day Gino takes my car and immediately gets pulled over for *hesitating*. He actually was at an intersection that makes no complete sense and where everyone hesitates. Once again *RACIAL PROFILING* Unfortunately, the news had just launched a segment on Mexican gangs in our area and we’re in a REALLY small town.

So, I grab the kids and go to where Gino got pulled over and threw the race card right in their piggy faces. I’m not liking these cops very much. They weren’t very happy about their accusation, but frankly, I DON’T CARE.

Proceed on to the following day….. I was driving down the driveway a cop (THE STUPID GIRL COP THAT GOT HIM THE DAY BEFORE) looked down the driveway (it’s a long one) saw the car and actually pulled over so that she could see if I or Gino were driving. She then got behind me and followed me ~ I’m honestly considering harassment charges here….. again, NOT HAPPY.

My UFO Experience

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Great! I’m never showing my face at my husband’s work EVER again! He’s told one of his friend’s at work a story about me that’s kinda embarrassing and his friend told another person and that person told another person and when Gino was leaving for work yesterday his boss said, “Make sure your wife doesn’t get abducted by an alien tonight.” and laughed.

It was in 2005 and it was night. My backyard had a big tree and the night sky was BLACK. I was out back with the dog and I looked up into the sky and there was a UFO hovering over my house. I panicked. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to grab the dog and Jayden and get in the car and leave, but I didn’t see the point since the UFO could easily follow us. If it was going to abduct us it was going abduct us no matter where we were.

Gino was at his friend Justin’s house playing Madden. I called in a panic explaining to my husband that there’s a UFO over our house and I don’t know what to do. I’m crying at this point. Gino sat on the phone speechless, because this is really kinda out there. I mean come on, how would you react if your other called you freaking out over something so random and weird So, they are just in shock and I hear Justin say in the background, “Dude, wtf is wrong with her?” After I convince Gino that there really is a UFO above our house he’s about ready to come home until I say. “Oh, wait a minute. Nevermind! It’s just one of those blimp things.”

I will probably be made fun of for the rest of my life.

Only in Hickville!

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I’m totally a city girl. Living in the country environment is pretty humorous to me at times. Gino and I sometimes laugh out loud at the things people do or even say – or even drive sometimes. I know, we’re wretched people. City is in my blood, and I’m trying my hardest to get it out. I hate the city, but sometimes the sound of a ghetto bird flying above my house at night is like a lullaby to my ears. No, I didn’t live in the ghetto, but when you’re in the city you might as well call the city in whole the ghetto. You even begin to have a little ghetto in you. I’m a ghetto Mormon. This means that I actually know the real, unedited lyrics to the Whisper Song by the Ying Yang Twins and can sing most of 50 Cents songs by heart. I actually know for the most part the translation of ghetto slang…. thanks to my brother. I even prefer to listen to rap over most music. I promise, I really am Mormon and for the most part I actually go to church every Sunday.

So, having this kind of background and then seeing this on my street makes soda come out of my nose in laugher.


If I ever see one of my kids in a situation that looks anywhere like the one above I’m coming back to the city.