Why I Ramble Here

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“Whatever is going on in your mind is what you are attracting” The Secret

If you really stop to think about blogging, it is probably one of the most narcissistic things out there. In the beginning of blogging I didn’t know about the “blog world”. I didn’t know I’d form lasting friendships, my main reason for blogging was simply to document our lives. Keep our family that lived far away up to date on our lives. Now, I don’t think my family and friends that we moved away from even read this blog.

Why I blog has changed. This blog has transformed from a blog based around my family to a blog based around me. Like I said ~ narcissistic.

I’ve now transformed my blog into not only documenting my family’s life, my children’s childhood, but my personal development. I’ve learned so much about positivity and thoughts and our minds and how we can become who we are entitled to be. It’s too often on Facebook timelines, blogs and just plain out in the daily lives of people I know that I see them living a negative life.

Never looking at the abundance in their life, just on what they don’t have.

While I’m not constantly positive and having rainbows and butterflies to talk about I try to find the beauty in it all. Trust me, I come from havoc and one of the most dysfunctional families I’ve ever seen… well, maybe not the MOST, but pretty dang close to it. I try to share my positive words and share with others how we don’t have to let the negativity affect us. We don’t have to let our childhoods shape our future.

We have complete control in what happens to our lives. Not everybody has this mindset. Heck, my mindset isn’t even completely there yet, but I know it’s true and I’m working very hard towards mastering this.

And I’m blogging the journey away. That’s why I created {Just a Motivating Monday}. I created it as a carnival for other’s to link up their inspiring, motivating posts. While I rarely have a linkup I still do this EVERY MONDAY. I love to share something positive, uplifting, and motivating for people for the week. I want to help others start their week off with positivity… get their mindset set and my mindset set.  If I’m writing positivity, I’m thinking positivity and I want to manifest nothing but positivity in my life.

 

I wrote this post for the SITS girls Back to Blogging event. Which is sponsored by Standards of Excellence, Westar Kitchen & Bath, and Florida Builder Appliances.

Stop to Kiss That Precious Smile

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Apparently I’ve lived under this blogging rock and had no idea about The SITS Girls.  I noticed these past couple of days that some of my favorite bloggers were participating in this Back to Blogging, clicked on a link and found where all the cool bloggers are!  SO I had to jump on board.

Today is about bringing back a post you wish more people had read.  YIKES, I have quite a few of posts like that, but this one I read while looking back and realized it definitely was a post that I NEEDED to read.  So here you go….. I originally posted this on October 12, 2009 for Just a Motivating Monday.

 

I did not have the best week ever… but I’m going to try to turn that around this week. I’m focusing on the positive. I get so stressed out sometimes with work and my kids and the house and then feel like I completely suck at everything… and I know that I’m not the only one who feels this way.

I read this poem somewhere.. I have no idea who to give it credit to, so if you know who wrote it please let me know so I can credit the writer.

Dear Lord, it’s such a hectic day
With little time to stop and pray
For life’s been anything but calm
Since You called on me to be a mom
Running errands, matching socks
Building dreams with building blocks
Cooking, cleaning, and finding shoes
And other stuff that children lose
Gitting lids on bottled bugs
Wiping tears and giving hugs
A stack of last week’s mail to read
So where’s the quiet time I need?
Yet when I steal a minute, Lord
Just at the sink or ironing board
To ask the blessings of Your grace
I see then, in my small one’s face
That you have blessed me
All the while
And I stop to kiss
That precious smile

I want to talk for a minute on why this poem really hits home with me. We strive to do a million things throughout the days/weeks and we need to stop to appreciate the biggest blessings that we have received and it’s the sweet faces of our babies. I hope that this post motivates you to do something special with your children this week. Something out of the ordinary, something that lets them and you know that they truly matter. They truly are the reason for every single thing that we do in this life. They are the reason you are keeping your blog, they are the reason you feel complete. Stop, kiss that precious smile and be thankful for the stressful moments, the screaming moments, the tears and fears…. because it’s all a blessing and a beautiful one at that.

 This post is being written for SITS girls Back to Blogging this blogging event is being sponsored by Standards of Excellence, Westar Kitchen & Bath, and Florida Builder Appliances

The post where I talk about moving away from EVERYTHING

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I’ve never felt like I belong where I’ve been in life.  I sometimes imagine myself living in the south, eating fried foods and corn on the cob and listening to Sweet Home Alabama while I rock in rocker on my porch.

Other times I imagine myself living right on the coast.  I never imagine the Pacific coast ~ I think more like Maine, or somewhere so far.

Then there’s the thrill I get inside when I imagine closing my eyes and pointing on a map and planting my roots there.  Why not?

We started our lives and family together in Sacramento, California.  I thought it was beautiful.  I thought I was lucky to live in a city that was so close to the mountains, and so close to the ocean.  I thought that seeing all of the trees all over the city and the beautiful rivers that flowed through it was like a painting out of a book.

I started to realize that Sacramento really isn’t all that beautiful.  There’s a lot of havoc {and not Enchanting Havoc} and a lot of negativity.  It’s expensive and it’s BIG.  We had a lot of family and a lot of friends though and I just couldn’t imagine picking up my life and moving away from it.

So the idea of living in the South, the East Coast, or just randomly closing my eyes and picking a place was not an option.  How could I leave everything I know and love?

I did it.  It’s been 3 years, 5 months & 6 days since I packed up a Uhaul and made the leap… we were high tailing it out of the city and giving our kids the life we knew they deserved.  And guess what?!  We chose a place that is IN the mountains and the Ocean is still just a 2 hour drive away.

My kids didn’t deserve to have their mom working everyday and then arriving home just a couple of hours before bed time routine was to begin. 

They didn’t deserve to live in a place where the gangs and ghetto life would eventually seep into their neighborhood.  They need to feel safe. 

They didn’t deserve to not be able to play out front and ride their bikes and walk happily to the park while waving at friendly neighbors. 

I may have left what family and friends I had behind and chose a place a nice cushiony 5 hours away, but I made the best decision I had ever made in my life.  I love my family, but I love my distance.  I love my friends in Sacramento, but I never had friends that were moms there.  I never was able to understand that THERE ARE OTHERS OUT THERE THAT FEEL THE WAY I FEEL!  I can actually make friends that have something in common with me.

Moving away from my security, what I always knew and trusted broke me out of a shell I was confined in for so many years.  I had to start from the bottom and work my way up.  I didn’t have friends that I had gone to school with.  I didn’t have family that I’d known my whole life {I do have relatives where I live though}.  I was forced to grow as an individual.  I was forced to step out of my box and talk to new people, and make mom friends and go to the park and soak in the days with my kids.  And discover CHURCH.

I learned to cook. 

I learned that there’s a completely different person inside of me, and she’s a person I actually like.

I learned that my marriage is the most important relationship I have on this earth.  That any outside influences that take me away from him are not good influences.

I learned to be a mom.  And this to me was the most important thing I learned.  I was a mom a before, don’t get me wrong, but I lived a fast paced, busy life.  I didn’t take the time to REALLY be the mom that my children deserve.

I learned that I can figure life out without the influences of other people.  I can figure out what I like, what I believe, and what my values are all on my own.

Picking up and moving away from the only thing we ever knew truly was the best thing I ever did.  I will never go back to that fast paced, city life again.  I’ve found my happiness and I’ve found me.  Wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Blog Hoppin over to The Winey Mommy!

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Today I’m posting over at

If you haven’t checked out Chelle ~ you MUST! She is one of my absolute favorite bloggers! Head over and check her out, read my words and offer her some MAJOR LOVE because her wonderful husband just left yesterday for the next 6 months to risk his life for our freedom. I’m so thankful for soldiers like her Leo that are out there for our country and freedom. I hope that you enjoy Chelle’s blog!!

If you’re coming over here from Chelle’s welcome to Enchanting Havoc!! I hope you enjoy your look around and leave a comment so I can come and check your blog out…. maybe we can find a beautiful friendship like I’ve found with Chelle and so many other wonderful bloggers!!

I’m skipping out on Just a Motivating Monday this week since I’m over at Chelle’s with some heart felt words 🙂 But if you have some motivating/inspiring post that you’d like to link up this week please do!!

A Beautiful Realization

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It’s Friday.

I just spent the 7th week away from my home.

I have officially missed out on 7 weeks of lazy mornings, 3 year old giggles all day, and soaking up the sunshine while watching my little girl play her day away.

But I’m halfway through. There’s only 7 weeks left of me working. 7 weeks left then I’ll be able to go back to lazy mornings, hearing 3 year old giggles all day, but the sun will be gone…. and instead I’ll have to watch her play her day away inside. *sigh*

There’s things I’ve realized in these past 7 weeks of working. I just plain out don’t want to do this for the rest of my life. I’ve watched people come in to work, day after day, sitting in front of a computer. Doing the same thing EVERY. SINGLE. DAY! And I’m not talking young bucks, people. I’m talking I’m watching old people come in who have probably worked the same job for 20+ years. I just can’t fathom doing something like that.

Where is the growth?

Jim Rohn has a quote that I absolutely love love love love love….

“Work harder on yourself than you do on your job. If you work harder on your job you’ll make a living {which is fine} but if you work harder on your self you’ll make a fortune {which is super fine}.”

I have been blessed to have had wonderful opportunites to be placed into my life. Opportunites where I can make a fortune and I can set my life and the life of my children and generations to come up for greatness. I’ve never doubted that what I’ve had in my hands is magical and a pure blessing from God, but I don’t think I knew exactly how much I really needed it in my life.

I had been home for over 3 years and didn’t have to get up and leave at the crack of dawn for work. I didn’t have to miss out on any part of my children’s life. I didn’t have to kiss my kids as I’m running out the door so I’m not late. I didn’t have to miss out on a damn thing. So having something so powerful placed into my lap was fine, but it wasn’t super fine until I realized that if I didn’t grab that bull by the hands and ride it, I would end up one day coming to a job ~ you know, (Just Over Broke). Doing the SAME. THING. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

No thank you. I’m setting my life up for greatness. I’m going to go back to building my empire and making money by saving my family and friends money on services they’re already using. I’m going to skip to my mailbox knowing that my mom and my best friend and everybody I know they paid their cable bill, they paid their cell phone bill, the paid their internet bill, they paid their home phone bills, they paid their home security bill to protect their family, they paid their flipping POWER & GAS BILL! And the beauty of it all is, they’re smiling too, because they’re paying cheaper than they paid before. And every, single month I’m getting a portion of that. That is the most beautiful sounding thing I think I’ve ever heard.

It’s my ticket to be home. It’s my ticket to ensure my children’s futures are set. It’s my ticket greatness.

And before these past 7 weeks of doing the SAME. THING. EVERY. SINGLE DAY. I didn’t realize what a true blessing I had in my hands.

4th Myaversary ~ *Heavy Image*

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Yesterday was our 4th Myaversary.  4 years ago yesterday we found out our baby girl was no longer alive inside of me.  Hardest most excruciating pain I’ve ever experienced inside.

I talk about {Mya} often.  She’s not something I’ve pushed under the rug and moved easily on with life.  She is a part of me, and she is my daughter.  A daughter I haven’t met yet, but a daughter I felt inside of me.  She was growing inside of me, she kicked inside of me, she grew into my heart while she was inside of me.

We always send off balloons to Mya to heaven every year on our Myaversary.  I don’t know why we’ve never taken pictures of the balloons we’ve sent to her before, but this year was a special balloon and we took a special trip for her.

This year I wasn’t sad like I am normally on our Myaversary.  I think it has a lot to do with the if there was a Mya, there’d be no Ella.  Mya served a beautiful purpose in mending a broken marriage.  Mya served a beautiful purpose in bring a family that was so close to be broken to knowing what we mean to each other.  Mya made a way for Ella to enter this world into a family that was a family.  A family that was loving.  A family that was stable.

Mya, I thank you every day for making our family what it is today.  And that is something to celebrate.  And this face right here, is a face of a little girl with pure joy and happiness in her heart…. and I couldn’t fathom a life without her in it.

Our trip to the Oregon coast was a fun trip, but the wind was horrible! Made it very unenjoyable for Ella, but I did manage to get this cute picture of my family

Ella spent the majority of the time screaming if I didn’t have her covered entirely in a towel to protect her from the blowing sand. Such a bummer, because the weather was BEAUTIFUL! Here’s my 2 wind blown babies.

This windblown baby loved everything about the trip…. loved the water, the wind, the birds to chase and I don’t post much about my Sophie girl… but here she is

and my wonderful husband managed to get this beautiful belly pic of me at 27 weeks pregnant with our newest baby girl that will be joining our family in December.

Then it came time to let go of the balloon for Mya ~ I found this special rose balloon, so I sent her off a Rose. You can click on the picture to make it bigger.

Our trip was quick, but it was a beautiful day. We celebrated what a beautiful little girl gave us, taught us and helped us become.

Mya,

I love you more than I’ll ever be able to explain. You will always be a special part of our lives, and we will always continue to celebrate our Myaversary. I know that you are with us, and that you watch over your little family. I know one day we will get to meet, and until that day I hope that I will continue to feel you around me.

I love you ~ Love, Mama

30 Days of Truth ~ Day 13

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Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

– um, not sure how to write a letter on this so I’ll just talk about the subject…

Mariah Carey just downright knows how to sing it! Through many of my life’s trials she’s been the one singing straight from my heart. When I went through my first heartbreak, when my marriage was on the rocks, it seems like Mariah just knows. I’d listen to her music over and over and over again. During my first real heartbreak I actually won her Rainbow CD off the radio and listened to it OVER AND OVER AND OVER again.

There’s something about music that is borderline magical. It has a way of doing things to your inner soul that regular words just can’t do. It also has this way of hitting you with a ton of bricks when you hear a song from your past. It brings back all of those emotions and feelings that you once had back when that song was significant to your life.

I love that about music and couldn’t fathom a life without music.

Fears of a Mama of 3 to Be

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Oh my most favorite day of the week ever!

You think that your life feels complete and that there is nothing missing until the birth of your new child. I’m 26 weeks and 2 day pregnant.

I have fears inside of me that I had with Ella.

Fears that I know will vanish the moment I look into this baby girl’s eyes.

Fears that there’s no way I could love this baby as much as I love my other two children.

The love for your children is something that is so big, so powerful, and so incomprehensible, that you can’t imagine it for even a second. As much as I know that I love this little flipper in my stomach I can’t fathom loving anything or anybody as gut wrenchingly much as I love Jayden and Ella.

But you know what, I felt this exact same way when I was pregnant with Ella. I had fears of not loving her as much as I loved Jayden, because how in the world could I ever love anything as much as I love Jayden? The minute I looked into Ella’s eyes, she had my heart. This is something that I have to keep reminding myself. As fearful as I might be that there’s a chance I won’t love this baby…. It’s only a fear and I know that she’ll capture my heart the same way Jayden and Ella both did.

I’m starting to get anxious and excited about the arrival of the new baby. It’s hard to believe that in a few short months our life is going to be extremely changing. There’s going to be a little, teeny, tiny baby that’s our’s. It’s so surreal.

Personal Revelation? Or just coincidence?

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This weekend my husband and I got to go out on a date.  You have no IDEA how needed this date truely was.  We have gone from spending LITERALLY Every. Single. Day together…. since he doesn’t leave for work until the evening, and I stay home…. to NEVER seeing each other. 

It’s a change.

Probably a good, needed change.

But regardless, it’s a change.

And I miss him SO. FLIPPING. MUCH!

So this date was very much so needed.

This post isn’t about our date though.  It’s about something that occured on the date and something that has me REALLY thinking… hard about how God uses us to do his work.  If we stop and actually try to read into the feelings we receive or the thoughts that randomly enter our brain, we might put our finger on what it is that he’s trying to get us to do to help Him.  I call this personal revelation and I truly believe that each and every single one of us receives personal revelation from Him.

At one point during my date my eyes wandered over to a man and his date.  I instantly looked deep into this mans face to see if it was the boyfriend of my sister’s mother {one of my sister’s from my dad}.  I have no idea why I did this or why I would even think it was him, but something inside of me was suspicious.  Seeing this man put in my head a weird feeling about “George” {we’re changing his name up to protect his identity}.

Now here’s what I don’t get, people.  I never see my sister’s mom, her boyfriend or even think about them.  I do know that they live in separate homes, but they are TOGETHER and they share 2 babies.  I recently did a photoshoot of their cute babies {HERE}

Now, let’s fast forward to the end of our date.  My husband and I are walking out to our car from the movie theater when this man holding this blonde’s hand caught my eye…. so I looked and then I stopped DEAD IN MY TRACKS.  By golly gee… it was “George”!  AND he was holding hands with another woman walking towards the theater.

I did what anyone would do… I hope, and I called my sister {who was babysitting my children} and she called her mom.  And her mom went to the theaters and BUSTED him.

Now…. here’s my thing.  Why was I constantly looking for any man that would resemble “George”?  I believe that if we pay very close attention to the feelings that we feel deep inside there probably is a reason for it.  Maybe not every feeling or suspicion, but if something hits you out of the middle of nowhere, it just might be personal revelation from God.

Call me crazy, but I believe that God put me at that exact moment and had me aware looking for what was going to be happening.  And I’m thankful that He did.