Yesterday I was on a twitter when I saw a tweet from a dear friend that I absolutely adore! Miss Cindy from {Get Along Home} tweeting a tweet about her being an Out of Sync Child. It quickly caught my eye as I have an out of sync child.
I bought this book, which I am actually embarrassed to say I haven’t completely read called the {Out of Sync Child}, because Jayden has always been “different”. I hate to even use that word in regards to him. Jayden to me is perfection. Jayden to me is a sweet soul that literally lights up the hearts of everyone he encounters. Jayden’s different, but he’s different in what I would call the most positive way.
Jayden has something called Sensory Processing Disorder. He has not been officially diagnosed, but I did just get a call from the the Child Development Rehabilitation Center confirming that they’ve received our paperwork…. now we wait for the appointment.
I have a son who is constantly confused in life. Things that I can’t quite understand how they’re confusing… he will find a way to make it confusing in his brain. For a long time I was frustrated and confused as to why my kid didn’t “get it”. He didn’t get what other kids clearly understood.
Then came in the food. This is definitely one of our biggest struggles with Jayden having SPD. He rarely will try anything new, and if the texture, smell or taste is too much for him… he will gag, and he will throw up. I thank God everyday that my child loves fruit. I just wish he would love some sort of veggie. I can name on 2 hands what my child will eat. And that’s hard, because I am a short order cook at home, because I cannot force my SPD child to eat the things that he honestly cannot choke down. My child is okay with sitting alone in his cafeteria at school, because he’d rather sit alone than get sick from the scent of another kid’s lunch.
My biggest struggle through all of this has been wanting to know how my little man feels inside. I want to be able to understand and to help him. I want to be able to grasp my mind around how he is constantly confused over things that my 3 year old isn’t even confused about.
I want to help him.
I want him to be able to succeed in whatever he sets his heart to.
I don’t want people being mean to him.
I want to shelter him.
I just want him to always know that he is so, so, so loved.
I feel so much gratitude in my heart for being blessed with him in my life. To me… Jayden is {perfect}.
My mom has SPD, too,(I think!) and is exactly like Jayden with food. She gags at my food! I’m a stellar cook! I never used to understand it, but I finally figured it out. Food does bother me if it’s not just right, but not to the extent that it does her. I’ve been known to take one look at my plate and throw it in the trash because it just disgusts me so much I want to cry. I’ve learned to cook really well, so I can avoid all the, over-salted, too oily, too slimy, too crunchy, too hard, too ugly (yes, ugly) stuff. SPD affects us all so differently.
I think I know how your boy feels when he says he’s confused. Think of the busiest day you’ve ever had and just tried to do it all at once. Add to that a cold, so that your head’s all stuffy and you can’t think. Now look behind you. There’s a truck barreling straight at you, and you’re not sure you can get your feet unglued from the ground. IT’S ALL JUST TOO MUCH! You’re paralyzed, not out of fear, or even frustration, but just because you’re so overwhelmed that your body isn’t even listening to you anymore.
That’s how I felt, anyway. Still do, in some circumstances. I’ve outgrown a lot of it, and learned to control my environment so that it’s not so bad. I hope your boy does, too! I can’t wait to read the chapter about the sensory diet. I’m really curious about that! Thanks for blogging, and for reading, and for being one of the coolest people on Twitter!
Cindy,
I really can’t even put into words what you mean to me right now. Knowing that there is somebody who might even have a sliver of an idea of what Jayden might possibly be going through puts this peace in my heart that is unexplainable. I wish Jayden could explain to me what it’s like, but at this point… I think it all just confuses him.
Thank you so much for all of your support and just prepare yourself, because I’ll probably pick your brain apart a lot 🙂
Oh wow, that was beautifully written, and I didn’t know that about your son, but it sounds like you are dealing with it all very well. That is so great to see.
Crystal recently posted..Twins!
Crystal, thank you! It’s been a long road, and some of it partially of me in denial. I always knew in the back of my mind that there has to be a reason for certain behaviors and things about Jayden, but I didn’t want to embark down that road I think. I’m glad that during a parent/teacher conference his teacher said to me… I think there might be a possibility that Jayden is autistic. Hard to grasp, but God gave him to me for a reason…. and man, I’m so grateful that I get to be the one there for Jayden and helping Jayden. He is helping me along my path in life as well.
{{{{{HUGE HUGS}}}}}
I know exactly what you mean. It’s what I think and feel almost every day. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Sarah recently posted..Lingering for a while…
Parenting sure has its challenges doesn’t it? We just have to realize that God gave us some pretty dang special souls!
He has you for a Momma so he is going to be just fine! I can’t even imagine the daily struggles that he must go through. You are doing the right things in getting him the help he needs. But your love, support, and understanding is the best start your boy could ever ask for. You are one blessed Momma to have such an inspiring young man in your life!
Michelle Pixie recently posted..The Wheels On The Bus
You honestly put tears in my eyes, Michelle. Thank you ~ and I am so blessed to have him in my life! He makes me a better person and I hope that is something one day he knows.
I so relate to this in regard to my middle son. *Hugs*
Amanda, I hopped over here from The Homeschool Lounge. My oldest now 4.5 was diagnosed with SPD earlier this year. It has been quite a journey for me and trying to handle it all and was a BIG push in confirming my desire to homeschool.
LaToya recently posted..September Mission Accomplished
The SPD journey definitely is quite a journey. I feel like there’s so much more that I need to learn about him. I’m really anxious, because 11/22/10 he’ll FINALLY be getting into CDRC to get evaluated and get his diagnosis. I’m interested to see how it all goes. Homeschooling is definitely going to be a great option for him 🙂