I go to pick up Jayden every day from school. There’s a little girl that walks up to me daily and hugs me as she walks to her class from lunch and I can’t even look her in the eye. I’m 25 years old and she’s only 9. As she walks up to me to hug me I try to pretend like she doesn’t exist. I know this is an iniquity, and something that I probably should really pray about, but I honestly can’t help myself.

This little girl was never abandoned and I was. This little girl has had her daddy all of her life, and I have not. I wouldn’t say I’m jealous, but I resent. I resent a 9 year old and I’m coming out and saying it.

For the past 2 seasons, I’ve watched on Grey’s Anatomy Meredith’s relationship with her little sister. It’s the exact same situation as mine. We see little glances of hope that Meredith might actually accept Lexi, and we all have sortof grown to love this quirky character Lexi has, but then Meredith backs away and her guard against her little sister just doesn’t budge. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to accept this little girl who had my dad as her daddy. I know it’s not her fault, but I just can’t help the way I feel.