Today my heart has been heavy with prayer for a special little boy. Stellan is fighting for his life, and fighting hard as I type this out. As you all know, I have a cardiac baby. I have sat next to her side as she’s been on ventilators breathing for her, because she had been in SVT for so long that her organs began to start shutting down.
The feelings that I felt will never be able to be explained in words. It’s so much more than that. When you look at the heart monitors and see that your baby’s heart rate is going above 200 and reach highs so high that the monitors can’t even read them you drop to your knees and you pray. You pray like you’ve never prayed before.
I am so grateful that I have not experienced Ella going into SVT for 1 year, 9 months and 2 days. I have gotten to the point where I’m not a mom carrying a stethoscope in diaper bag, because it’s been so long since there has been a problem. You can read about Ella’s story {HERE}
Stellan can’t get out of SVT. His heart rate is 220 + and has been going this fast now for 3 days and counting. How he has survived this long is probably beyond everybody, but he is surviving. I’m sure it has to do with the MANY, MANY, MANY prayers that are going on for Stellan. I have spent my night and day praying for this baby boy, as I know thousands have. You can read all about Stellan {HERE}
I’m taking this moment to say that I am scared to death of what Ella has. I am scared to death that one day she’s going to go into SVT and she’s not going to come out of it. I recently almost lost her to something so stupid and preventable, what if something I can’t prevent happens. You know what, I’d blame her doctors. I do not like my daughter’s cardiologist. What cardiologist in their right mind would take a toddler off of her heart medicine to “see” if she possibly doesn’t go into SVT. Yup, that’s what her great cardiologist wanted to do. Well, now Ella is on a different medication since her overdose and it happens to be the same medication that didn’t work for her.
Now I am just another mom carrying a Stethoscope in her diaper bag, praying that I never hear that fast heart beat EVER again.
And now, I’m just another mom praying for Stellan and hoping that my worst fear ceases in him and that he gets out of SVT and that he can give his mom another smile, another laugh, another day, another year ~ I hope she gets an entire lifetime out of him and I hope I get a get a lifetime out my Ella.
This picture is of Ella when she was going through what Stellan is going through right now. It is a picture I sometimes stare at and thank God that my little girl that was once laying lifeless in the PICU is now an outgoing, precious little girl that has stolen my heart in ways that I can’t explain.
Mckmama, Stellan & family ~ I’m praying so hard for you. Hugs for another SVT baby family. We’re here supporting you 110%…. I know that Stellan will pull out of this, because he is beyond a fighter ~ he is so awesome.
Oh goodness, I feel you. I have a little SVT baby who just turned 2 and we are coming up on 2 years with no episodes. Every once in a while I pull out that stethoscope and sneak into his room at night and check on him just to be sure.
He has been off all meds for nearly 6 months and sometimes I forget how much our lives revolved around administering medications that my father takes for high blood pressure to my infant son and constant checking of heart rates. I would not relive those 12 days in and out of the ER and ICU for anything. I saw them do things to my baby that I never want to see again. I am praying for Stellan.
I was totally unaware of this condition until i read Ella and Stellan's stories. I just heard about Stellan and I am praying for him, and also for your little one that she will continue to be episode free.
They will be in my thoughts!
Beautiful Post, Amanda.
Children are such blessings and it is such a blessing that Ella has been able to make it this far, episode Free..
I only wish the best for Stellan as well. He's made it this far when his "chance" of surviving in the beginning were so little. I will continue to pray hard for him and MckMama. My heart goes out to them.
Amanda, I've never gone through what you or Stellan's mom are facing right now. The closest I've come in a 5-day stint in the hospital when our oldest was not quite a year old and what started as a simple cold almost took his life within 24 hours or first symptoms. He was hooked up to all kinds of monitors, IVs and had 4 different antibiotics going at the same time, trying to keep infection from crossing from his eye into his brain. 🙁 Your picture gives me flash-backs to that prayer visual and I'm praying with you both for your sweet little girl and urgently for Stellan right now. {hug}
On a totally different note, please email me at jsaake AT yahoo DOT com and now that the BlogNerd and other weekend events are behind us, I would still very much like to talk with you about doing a review for Affordable Mineral Makeup™ 🙂