When we saw the stone with the poem on it Gino had reached over and grabbed my hand. It still hurts at times. I will admit that things have definitely gotten better and I am ever so thankful for the blessings that I have; for the children that I have. There is still, however, {Mya}. There is still is a baby girl in heaven that I miss so much, that I love so much…. and I don’t even know her. I have felt her inside of me though, and she has a huge part of my heart and my soul.

In exactly 1 month from today it will have been 3 years since I found out my baby girl had passed. The poem above is so real to me. I didn’t know her, but I love her just as much as I love my 2 babies that are alive and well with me here on earth. 3 years ago I could hardly breathe and didn’t know how in the world I was supposed to go on. I find it amazing how much time and Heavenly Father can heal a mother’s heart.

The thing that helps me out so much is that I know she lives in heaven. I keep her so close to my heart in a necklace. I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason, and sadly sometimes things happen that are traumatic. I know that Mya had a very wonderful purpose, and she served it. She saved my marriage. She brought Gino and I together in a way that can’t be explained. She came to a marriage that was on the verge of destruction and made it the strongest bond I’ve ever felt. I love Mya for that, and one day I’ll be able to hug her and thank her. She served her purpose, then gave her sister a chance to be born to happy family, a strong family. And I know that through all of Ella’s traumatic experiences with her heart that she’s right there with her, because she’s her angel.

I hope that when we smile and think of her that she feels it. I hope that when we’re sad because she’s not with us she feels our love. She will always be my first daughter. I will always love her, and I don’t even know her yet. I do, however, know that she came here and saved a family and built it strong. Thank you, Mya…. I love you.