Yesterday was our 4th Myaversary. 4 years ago yesterday we found out our baby girl was no longer alive inside of me. Hardest most excruciating pain I’ve ever experienced inside.
I talk about {Mya} often. She’s not something I’ve pushed under the rug and moved easily on with life. She is a part of me, and she is my daughter. A daughter I haven’t met yet, but a daughter I felt inside of me. She was growing inside of me, she kicked inside of me, she grew into my heart while she was inside of me.
We always send off balloons to Mya to heaven every year on our Myaversary. I don’t know why we’ve never taken pictures of the balloons we’ve sent to her before, but this year was a special balloon and we took a special trip for her.
This year I wasn’t sad like I am normally on our Myaversary. I think it has a lot to do with the if there was a Mya, there’d be no Ella. Mya served a beautiful purpose in mending a broken marriage. Mya served a beautiful purpose in bring a family that was so close to be broken to knowing what we mean to each other. Mya made a way for Ella to enter this world into a family that was a family. A family that was loving. A family that was stable.
Mya, I thank you every day for making our family what it is today. And that is something to celebrate. And this face right here, is a face of a little girl with pure joy and happiness in her heart…. and I couldn’t fathom a life without her in it.
Our trip to the Oregon coast was a fun trip, but the wind was horrible! Made it very unenjoyable for Ella, but I did manage to get this cute picture of my family
Ella spent the majority of the time screaming if I didn’t have her covered entirely in a towel to protect her from the blowing sand. Such a bummer, because the weather was BEAUTIFUL! Here’s my 2 wind blown babies.
This windblown baby loved everything about the trip…. loved the water, the wind, the birds to chase and I don’t post much about my Sophie girl… but here she is 
and my wonderful husband managed to get this beautiful belly pic of me at 27 weeks pregnant with our newest baby girl that will be joining our family in December.
Then it came time to let go of the balloon for Mya ~ I found this special rose balloon, so I sent her off a Rose. You can click on the picture to make it bigger.
Our trip was quick, but it was a beautiful day. We celebrated what a beautiful little girl gave us, taught us and helped us become.
Mya,
I love you more than I’ll ever be able to explain. You will always be a special part of our lives, and we will always continue to celebrate our Myaversary. I know that you are with us, and that you watch over your little family. I know one day we will get to meet, and until that day I hope that I will continue to feel you around me.
I love you ~ Love, Mama
AMANDA!! What a beautiful and touching post. I’m so glad to have finally caught up with you. Your new blog is awesome!! I’m sure sweet Mya is smiling down, loving the balloons sent to her.
And talk about God’s country! Geesh! The scenery is just amazing! And it looks to me that you have found yourself a helper in your photog business, too. Gino took an amazing pic of you! 27 weeks already?! Gorgeous, mama! Pregnancy does you good!!
Kara! I’m happy you finally found yourself over here :p The Oregon coast is definitely God’s country…. it’s so gorgeous and lucky for us just a short 2 hour drive 🙂
Loved reading your beautiful story. Great pictures of you and your family!! It’s so wonderful to see the beauty through the hard times.
Thank you so much! I haven’t always been able to see the beauty through this, but I can definitely say it feels much better to feel the see the beauty instead of focusing on the hard times.
Thanks for stopping by!! I’ll head over and check out your blog today 🙂
So heartbreakingly beautiful! *hugs*
And that shot of you is GORGEOUS!
Thank you sweet Shell {HUGS}.
What a beautiful article! Sorry to hear about the loss of your little Mya but it looks like you have a beautiful family and good luck with the new baby! We are expecting our fifth on New Years Day.
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Thankyou, Cascia 🙂 Congrats on your little one as well!!
Such a beautiful touching post… keeping you in our prayers. I know your daughter enjoyed her balloon.
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This is such a beautiful, heartfelt post! I’m so sorry about your loss…you’re at the same point I am with my previous pregnancy losses. While it still saddens me to a degree, I can now see the bigger meaning behind it all. Those babies were sent to me for a purpose, one that never made sense until years later.
You look radiant! Pregnancy definitely agrees with you!
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Being able to find the blessings in such a tragedy really makes everything feel so much better. Thank you so much 🙂
Amanda! What a sweet message! I love the pictures!! i am so excited about your baby!!! im hoping for dec 7! love you! miss you!
Thank you Miss Jenna 🙂 I’m so excited about her too!!! That would be so cool if I had her on your birthday. After I have her we’ll have to plan a trip to Sacramento around the time you’ll be there and I can meet your husband and you can meet the newest addition 🙂 I love you and miss you too!!