I’ve never felt like I belong where I’ve been in life. I sometimes imagine myself living in the south, eating fried foods and corn on the cob and listening to Sweet Home Alabama while I rock in rocker on my porch.
Other times I imagine myself living right on the coast. I never imagine the Pacific coast ~ I think more like Maine, or somewhere so far.
Then there’s the thrill I get inside when I imagine closing my eyes and pointing on a map and planting my roots there. Why not?
We started our lives and family together in Sacramento, California. I thought it was beautiful. I thought I was lucky to live in a city that was so close to the mountains, and so close to the ocean. I thought that seeing all of the trees all over the city and the beautiful rivers that flowed through it was like a painting out of a book.
I started to realize that Sacramento really isn’t all that beautiful. There’s a lot of havoc {and not Enchanting Havoc} and a lot of negativity. It’s expensive and it’s BIG. We had a lot of family and a lot of friends though and I just couldn’t imagine picking up my life and moving away from it.
So the idea of living in the South, the East Coast, or just randomly closing my eyes and picking a place was not an option. How could I leave everything I know and love?
I did it. It’s been 3 years, 5 months & 6 days since I packed up a Uhaul and made the leap… we were high tailing it out of the city and giving our kids the life we knew they deserved. And guess what?! We chose a place that is IN the mountains and the Ocean is still just a 2 hour drive away.
My kids didn’t deserve to have their mom working everyday and then arriving home just a couple of hours before bed time routine was to begin.
They didn’t deserve to live in a place where the gangs and ghetto life would eventually seep into their neighborhood. They need to feel safe.
They didn’t deserve to not be able to play out front and ride their bikes and walk happily to the park while waving at friendly neighbors.
I may have left what family and friends I had behind and chose a place a nice cushiony 5 hours away, but I made the best decision I had ever made in my life. I love my family, but I love my distance. I love my friends in Sacramento, but I never had friends that were moms there. I never was able to understand that THERE ARE OTHERS OUT THERE THAT FEEL THE WAY I FEEL! I can actually make friends that have something in common with me.
Moving away from my security, what I always knew and trusted broke me out of a shell I was confined in for so many years. I had to start from the bottom and work my way up. I didn’t have friends that I had gone to school with. I didn’t have family that I’d known my whole life {I do have relatives where I live though}. I was forced to grow as an individual. I was forced to step out of my box and talk to new people, and make mom friends and go to the park and soak in the days with my kids. And discover CHURCH.
I learned to cook.
I learned that there’s a completely different person inside of me, and she’s a person I actually like.
I learned that my marriage is the most important relationship I have on this earth. That any outside influences that take me away from him are not good influences.
I learned to be a mom. And this to me was the most important thing I learned. I was a mom a before, don’t get me wrong, but I lived a fast paced, busy life. I didn’t take the time to REALLY be the mom that my children deserve.
I learned that I can figure life out without the influences of other people. I can figure out what I like, what I believe, and what my values are all on my own.
Picking up and moving away from the only thing we ever knew truly was the best thing I ever did. I will never go back to that fast paced, city life again. I’ve found my happiness and I’ve found me. Wouldn’t trade it for the world.
I sometimes wish I had done this, many years ago. And I sometimes still want to do it! I’m so glad that you have found your happiness.
BUT, if you ever reconsider moving down to the South, let me know! I’ll hook ya up! LOL
dysfunctional mom recently posted..Trick or Treat
It’s never too late 😉 I absolutely will let you know if I ever decide to take the plunge down South. It would be hard to leave the haven that we found.
I’m really drawn to stories of people finding the place they belong.
I loved this line: I learned that there’s a completely different person inside of me, and she’s a person I actually like.
It made me smile. 🙂
LAurel recently posted..The Only Times Id Rewind
Thank you 🙂 It’s funny how as you grow and experience more with life you truly get to know yourself more. Life is an amazing thing.
It definitely sounds like that move was the right thing for you! We’ve made big moves a few times and now…I want to be done.
I don’t anticipate moving again. It would be nice, but for now Jayden’s happy with his school and I’m happy with his school and I don’t want him to have to move around as much as I did growing up.
You are my hero!!
I am so the woman you describe early on in your post – I see myself in my husband’s native Texas absorbing the culture and identity of the Lone Star state; or embracing my family’s small farming town roots in some map dot town in the south where I know EVERYONE…
But then I get caught up in my identity as a native Coloradan, as the girl who couldn’t wait to run from the suburbs to the city and swore she would never be small town again…
I commend you for taking the leap – for your family and for yourself.
Keri @ Eat Drink and Be Keri recently posted..Be – I love rules
It’s so exciting to just dream about the possibilities out there in the world. For now we’re pretty grounded where we chose to relocate to. We’re happy, and it’s kindof dumb to fix what’s not broken right?
This is a really good post! Thanks for stopping by my blog.
I’m coming to Washington?Oregan in October and I’m having the hardest time trying to figure out if I’ll need a coat or a jacket. Googeling the weather for that are is a nightmare!
Michelle
Michelle recently posted..Wordless Wednesday
It’ll probably be cold!! Definitely bring a jacket and a coat won’t hurt 🙂 Have fun on your trip!!
That is so wonderful. You are totally awesome Amanda. Now can you teach me those things you learned? 🙂
I’m telling you! It’s all in the personal development books. Somethng about them is amazing 🙂
That is awesome that you did that. I moved far away once but ended up coming back since I missed my family too much. I’m glad I tried it out though!
Diana @ A Little Bit of Life recently posted..The truth – and nothing but the truth
Is it bad that I don’t miss my family that much? LOL I have a drama filled family, so being away from them is actually REALLY wonderful for me and my family.
How brave! When I started reading this I thought of myself. I always wonder what it would be like to move to south carolina. I feel like I belong in Charleston! lol I have never been there but it’s what I feel…I don’t belong in Long Island..but it’s where my friends are and where my husband wants to be. I think it’s great you made that leap!
Jen @ After The Alter recently posted..Our Pretzel Craving Adventure
Isn’t it funny how you can seriously feel yourself belonging somewhere you’ve never even been to?! I’m glad I’m not alone in those feelings 🙂
You soo hit home with me!! I love the way you can express yourself, an inspiration for sure!! AND I am so glad we have met, to the future,…her in beautiful Oregon!!
I’m glad we’ve met too, Cindi!! Glad you found your way over to my blog lol ~ now you’ll know EVERYTHING about me haha.
Love this blog Amanda xo
I’m happy you like it, Cheryl 🙂