Last week for my Pour Your Heart Out post I got an wonderful amount of people giving me support and advice on my {son’s new found diagnosis}…. I just want to say that I am so grateful for the amazing community that comes with this mommy blogging thing ~ and Shell you ROCK for starting this and being amazing. With that little intro ~ here’s this weeks Pour Your Heart Out….
Why is it that once you’ve had your third child EVERY SINGLE PERSON you come into contact with has to ask…..
“Are you done?”
Let me retract here for a moment, when I said EVERY SINGLE PERSON, I meant that literally. Everywhere I go people ooooo and ahhhhh over the {newest little addition} wrapped securely to her mama while sleeping soundly. Her brother and sister aren’t acting too wild and I’m actually not a total basket case wondering what I got myself into. Yet, everybody from old people to the lady at the check out in the grocery store to family members HAVE to ask me…. “Are you done?”
I get it, we live in a society where anything over 2 is unheard of, or crazy, or whatever it is that these people are thinking. But to me, I love my children, and I love being a mom. I have dedicated my life to ensuring that these little people are loved and hugged and taught and given the light of God’s word into their lives. I have stepped up to the plate to teach these little ones everything that I know they will need in life to succeed.
My question is… so why is it that everybody is so concerned on whether I’m going to have more or not? And even more than that…. why is it that people who are basically strangers to me feel it’s their place to give me the reasons on why I should be done? This happens almost daily.
A marriage is between two people. Outside judgments are not appreciated. Pretty sure last time I checked, the decision to have another child takes place within a marriage. Sure, if I was a mother who didn’t take care of my children, form your negative opinions… whatever, but PLEASE do not pass judgment on me for being a good mom. I know that a lot of people out there feel overwhelmed and spent from the one or two children they have, but I’m not. I enjoy my kids. The bottom line is it is OUR decision that WE will make WITHOUT you. It is honestly NONE of your business and your JUDGMENTAL eyes staring at my 3 well behaved, adorable children is not welcomed.
I have 4, and people are the same way with me, but throw in a side of “are you stupid?” Apparently, it is very important for total strangers to let you know that children are expensive, noisy, difficult, troublesome, annoying, too much work, etc.
I’ve concluded that they are, for the most part, attacking my position as happy and capable mother because my family’s happy and not impoverished existence calls into question their priorities. I have (only once) been known to ask, “Do your children know you don’t think they were worth it?”
Cindy recently posted..Easy Lunches at Home
People definitely need to get a life of their own and stop worrying so much about our’s!
It’s so annoying, isn’t it? I have my 3, and all close in age. I can’t believe how many people ask me if I’m done.
Though, I sometimes get “advice” that I could still try for “your girl.”
Um, I don’t have girls, I just have boys. I usually inform the nosey people that my husband has had a vasectomy. That shuts them up. LOL
Isn’t the advice “unasked for advice at that” so wonderful?! UGH!
I have two girls and I always get the ‘are you going to try for your third?’ The worst was when I was pregnant with my second and I would tell people she was a girl and they would follow with, ‘oh, are you going to try for a boy?’ I just wanted to yell, ‘dude, I haven’t even had this one! get out of my business!’ lol
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LOL! What is it with everyone always trying to get in people’s business? I do have to admit though I saw a mom of 5 yesterday and her kids were OUT OF CONTROL and I thought to myself…. “note to self you better be done!”
I would love it if you would say, “Why NO, in fact we just found out that I’m pregnant with TRIPLETS!” Then smile and walk away.
LOL! I do say sometimes with a really straight face…. oh we’re planning on having at least 6!
Good for you Amanda – a full nest – coming from a family of 5 kids let me tell you one of the best gifts you can give your child – for the rest of their lives – are siblings.
And yes – now I’m done 🙂
Thank you for this today
God Bless and Keep you and yours
Isn’t that the truth?! Siblings are such a blessing!
I get the same thing because my two are both boys-“are you going to try for your girl?” or the flip side, “well no girls for you I guess” because we couldn’t possibly want to try for a third.
Sigh.
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ANNOYING!!!!